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Pizza Delivery Stories

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JeremyClarkson
Posts: 1599 - Karma: 1,934
Some weird shit has happened to me since I started doing deliveries for my local Domino's Pizza. Sometimes the job is great and sometimes it sucks ass. Here are some good reasons why...

When it comes to drunk people they're always a hit or miss. If you get the happy Friday night drunks you can expect to get much love and usually a fat tip. Other times they're just stone cold assholes. The biggest tip Ive ever received though was from a guy who was so utterly shithoused he almost falls through the doorway when he opens it. The total was around 15 bucks so the guy pulls out two twenties and hands em to me...."I don't think I have enough to make change for this sir". He pauses and grunts "ohrrr.. ffffuurck". He Takes out another twenty and hands it to me. Before I can say anything he slams the door and locks it. I walked away with huge grin and a 45 dollar tip on that one.

Delivering to trailer parks suck. The people are Jerks and nine times out of ten your not getting tipped. So one day I'm delivering to the trailer park and I finally find the trailer. I knock on the door and from inside I hear  " Spidey senses tingling the pizzas here!" Lo and behold a guy in a full Spiderman suit answers the door and exclaims "hello citizen!". I start bursting out laughing but Spiderman just looks on from behind his mask. We complete the transaction and I say "Have a good one Spiderman" to which he replies "Have a spidey day!". He had to have been the real deal too because he tipped me 5 bucks.

Middle schoolers are usually the worst. They always got something to say or try. One kid we at the store like to call lard-o, is especially this. At least 4 or 5 times a week this kid will order the same extra large pizza with extra chese and pepperoni. He has to weigh at least 300 pounds and his parents are never home(???). He will usually tell you to get lost after he hands you exact change and money, he likes to open the box and if there isn't enough pepperoni he wants another one. Drivers in the past have cussed this kid out and have been written up after the kid calls management and complains. Thankfully he doesnt order as much but when I leave in the fall Im making sure that fat fucker gets a care package.

Im off to drink away my stresses. Peace Newschooler's stay frosty.


Jun 30 2012 11:16PM
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easy.steezy
Posts: 2931 - Karma: 1,056
Omfg, this thread is cracking me up!  +k to everyone who has made me laugh till I hurt.
Jul 3 2012 8:58AM
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dan1080
Posts: 1293 - Karma: 913
several years ago my brother and i ordered a pizza. the guy that showed up happened to be like 2 or 3 years ahead of my brother in school and was a notorious drinker and smoker etc. he also happened to be a nasty biker so when he showed up my bro and i were bikin around in the driveway and i asked him if he had any tips on 180 barspins, he did, anyway....25 mins after he leaves hes back at our door knocking frantically. apparently he chugged a 5th of vodka leaving our driveway and crashed his car 2 miles down the road and ran back to our house to use a phone because he didnt have one. his dad or some shit came and picked him up and he never returned to delivering pizza
Jul 3 2012 10:18AM
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Juicy-J
Posts: 1900 - Karma: 1,764
Click for larger image
Jul 3 2012 11:17AM
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Toaster-Tony
Posts: 3531 - Karma: 5,850
Lmao. No you are ;)
Jul 3 2012 1:38PM
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Matt_Rossi
Posts: 431 - Karma: 785
Ordered pizza from Papa John's to be delivered to my work, delivery guy shows up... and he forgets the pizza, and has to come back later, when he comes back he brings the wrong pizza. I ordered this pizza at 6:30 pm, it's now 8:30, we close at 9, and to my luck as im cashing someone out at the register, and i see the papa johns car pull up with my pizza, and i got it for free, and thats why third time's the charm is the best saying ever
Jul 3 2012 2:30PM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
Paying $10 for a pizza >>> getting your pizza 2.5 hours late and being hungry/pissed off.
Jul 3 2012 2:43PM
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Dylan_
Posts: 9824 - Karma: 1,403
alright, theres this house that orders ALL the time, dirtbag side of town, first time i go up to the door ( the whole place smells like shit) a THING, yes i mean a THING answers the door, in a wheel chair, mid 30's, SHIRT AND PANTS OFF. the THING had longish hair, but the face of a dude. at this point im boggled trying to figure out how to not make this more awkward than it already is. the thing has tits but i did not look to where the things pants were off, fuck that. i go back to the shop to find out it was a dude ( the guy used to go to hollywood video next door all the time) my bosses knew exactly who i was talking about.


another house i go to knock on the door, the lady is HOT AS FUCK, early 40's. i give her her food, tell her the total, she gives me a 20 dollar tip on a 35 dollar order and winks saying keep the change. a few days later she calls back for another deliveryi knock on the door, shes wearing a white low cut shirt with a cheetah bra underneath, tight ass yoga pants and asks me to step in inside and she goes to get the money, her money was on the kitchen counter...direct view from me standing at the door she drops the money, bends over and picks it up and says " oh i'm so sorry" at this point i'm straightup starring at her tits, not realizing and she catches me and asks if i like....i stuttered and said " of course" i felt like i was in a porno. she then touches my chest with the money and says " i best be seeing you again and smacks my ass as i leave with another 20 dollar tip ( work was super busy and i'm getting the hint she wants to smash)


another time i couldnt find a street so i used my cell phone to call the number thats associated with the house im going to they tell me, teenage girls, about 17-18 i hear on the phone and i finally figure it out. i get to the door and they both come running, i give them their food and as they close the door i hear " he's hot" and giggling. i get a text like 10 mins later, it's the girls...... screenshots will be coming soon ( haven't deleted any texts since i got an iphone a year ago)

hope those didn't fail you.
Jul 3 2012 2:45PM
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sir_drums_a_lot
Posts: 335 - Karma: 14
No those were pretty good, the first one is pretty nasty. But did you ever get with the MILF? And yes pics of these girls are required.
Jul 3 2012 2:53PM
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Dylan_
Posts: 9824 - Karma: 1,403
not yet...every other time i went there the kids answered the door.. i can try to get pics of all of em without being creepy.
Jul 3 2012 3:00PM
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Willgum
Posts: 3254 - Karma: 3,071
Threads, I imagine the life of a pizza delivery guy is interesting
Jul 3 2012 3:35PM
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jibjunkie
Posts: 3807 - Karma: 191
very solid please do screenshots
Jul 3 2012 5:26PM
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Jahburn
Posts: 257 - Karma: 32
I was ordering from dominos and all I wanted was a simple combo pizza. They told me I had to choose the toppings. So I chose 5 toppings including the cheese and it ends up being a $20 12 inch pizza. I told the guy "all I want is a combo or peperoni I don't want to add my own toppings. $20 is an insane price."   " We don't have a combo or peperoni. YOU CHOSE THE TOPPINGS." In my head I though that this was bullshit. Then he got even more mad when I said that I live in a rented house that is divided into three sections. He though it was a apartment and I told him it was a house and he didn't think it was a house. He was so mad. After an hour the pizza hadn't arrived. So I called the guy back saying my pizza hasn't arrived yet. I asked for the pizza to be free and the guy got supper pissed. Said no and hung up. The pizza gets to me in an hour and 45 minute after I had ordered. I was mad. I payed the guy no tip, and when I opened the pizza it was cold. I should have not payed for the pizza at all.

Fuck the dominos by my house. They are 5 minutes away and it took them 2 fucking hours.
Jul 3 2012 5:51PM
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Flying~Squirrel
Posts: 6494 - Karma: 192
post pics of yourself, you sound pretty sexy
Jul 3 2012 5:56PM
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jibjunkie
Posts: 3807 - Karma: 191
what the fuck is a combo pizza
Jul 3 2012 6:00PM
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SterlingArcher
Posts: 2200 - Karma: 2,456
aka supreme
Jul 3 2012 10:08PM
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PopsicleStand
Posts: 6890 - Karma: 147
Haha would love milf pics
Jul 4 2012 11:16AM
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gurneykid
Posts: 181 - Karma: 6
I always deliver to these girls and they're super fine a flirty every time I do. I had a gf for a while so I never did anything but now I'm single and I'm all like order some more fuckin pizza! Oh and they never tip:(
Jan 4 2013 4:45PM
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gurneykid
Posts: 181 - Karma: 6
The worst delivery I have been on was to this hole in the wall of a house to this mom and this little girl who were obviously abused. I went back and told my boss and he pretty much said there was nothing i could do. .
Jan 4 2013 4:51PM
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MothaHucker
Posts: 4678 - Karma: 2,589
still waiting on this delivery.....
Jan 4 2013 4:56PM
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DaffyDaDak
Posts: 864 - Karma: 433
.
Jan 4 2013 5:06PM
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Nacho+
Posts: 3748 - Karma: 7,791
these stories are great! I want to hear some more
Jan 4 2013 5:09PM
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Reister
Posts: 279 - Karma: -20
Threads. and now i wanna deliver pizza when i put my car back together, but its shit on gas.

Jan 4 2013 5:09PM
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Errl
Posts: 2082 - Karma: 451
I used to work for a mom & pop pizza/catering place. My first ever delivery I walked up to the door (after checking the address about five times), lady answers the door and says "we never ordered a pizza." I nearly lost it. But it turns out she was just trollin'.

A local nursing home would order dinner for their residents every friday from the place I worked at. So every friday I'd pack my Jeep full of orgasmic italian food. But what makes it so awesome was that I would get a forty dollar tip, every time. And that was on top of making ten bucks an hour under the table.
Jan 4 2013 5:16PM
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shelbskis
Posts: 203 - Karma: 712
wowww this is great.. i have some pretty good pizza delivery stories too hahaha
Jan 4 2013 5:18PM
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Kakdeg
Posts: 331 - Karma: 375
threads, these are great!
Jan 4 2013 5:37PM
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Thadius.Castle
Posts: 1436 - Karma: 250
Makes me sad that I never get pizza delivered. Right in between the two closest Dominoes, but right outside of where they want to fucking drive. They would go to my friends house less than half a mile away, but would always say they wouldn't drive the small distance further. Fuck them anyways. Rather drive the five minutes to a place that is better/where friends work at.
Jan 4 2013 5:38PM
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DeSANTIS
Posts: 145 - Karma: 37
i work next to a little Caesars and all of the kids that work there are burnouts.

that being said they make a pretty good pizza for 6 bucks
Jan 4 2013 6:16PM
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FreshLegs
Posts: 119 - Karma: 24
one time i ordered a pound of wings and instead got 10 pounds of hotwings from wings over syracuse (ny). i just went along with it, (every order is always payed for in advance over the phone). when i brought the package up to my friends they looked at me, looked at the 10 pound tray, and we  all died laughing.

thing is, we knew it was the latino frat next to us that had ordered it cus it was almost 2 in morning and they were raging all night. easy to see how they could mix up addresses
Jan 4 2013 8:18PM
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,469
6? da fuck? Here they are $5
Jan 4 2013 8:25PM
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DANETRON
Posts: 6671 - Karma: 137
You get railer by the pizza man?
Jan 4 2013 8:37PM
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Troy.
Posts: 5070 - Karma: 12,545
$1 DIFFERENCE? OUTRAGEOUS
Jan 4 2013 8:50PM
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,469
IVE NEVER SEEN THEM FOR ANYTHING BUT $5. LICK MY BALLS
Jan 4 2013 8:55PM
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Kapital
Posts: 503 - Karma: 32
Delivered pizza for Panago for close to a year in high school. Shit could either be awesome or just brutal.

I live in a smallish town in alberta so I know pretty much everyone in town. Anyway, one time I take this pizza to my buddies girlfriends house. Large cheese with a 2L of pop, not a big deal well, until my buddies girlfriends mom opens the door and shes ass naked. Like not in a towel or bath robe, I mean she was tittie popp'in, ass shank'in, bare buck nude. So me remembering the good lessons that brazzers has taught me, my head starts whirling through ways this sex scene is about to go down. Somehow I manage to speak the total amount, she hands me a fifty and says she doesnt need the change. Handing her the pizza and pop she thanks me and I smile and head back to my car. I'm still in disbelief..

Oh and one time the guy put his pin into the tip amount, got a 461 dollar tip. I couldn't take it though.. we figured things out and he gave me a 50 for being honest. That good feeling and a mad tip made my night.
Jan 4 2013 9:17PM
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Broommasta
Posts: 764 - Karma: 56
One time i order pizza from this place and they brought it. it was crazy dude.
Jan 4 2013 9:18PM
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Casey
Posts: 7784 - Karma: 23,461
When I was in highschool I worked for Papa Johns. It was not uncommon for anyone to have a bottle of liquor or an 18 pack riding shotgun with them, or sometimes the in-store employees would ride along so they could get high on their breaks, plus hotboxing the walk in as soon as the boss left like 3 times a week depending on if the manager was cool or not. My buddy got fired like 3 separate times for either doing like 80mph in a residential area or for being drunk at work. Same guys older brother became a manager (which was a horrible decision by the GM) and leaked managerial passwords to his brother and I so we were able to void transactions and collect the full cash amount for any order we did that on.  Drunk driving is definitely not cool and I paid the price for this shit eventually but looking back on it I just gotta laugh. My parents got off my ass huge when I got a job senior year but it ended up being like the worst fucking thing I could've done.
Jan 4 2013 9:31PM
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cool_name
Posts: 4295 - Karma: 3,131
you could for got a 461 dollar tip if you didnt tell him though....
Jan 4 2013 9:34PM
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deleted5
Posts: 14507 - Karma: 13,500
was about to call bullshit then saw it was Sterling Archer.
Jan 4 2013 9:40PM
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Mag
Posts: 8155 - Karma: 14,809
It's not exactly easy to miss on your statement. + It's a dick move.
Jan 4 2013 9:56PM
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roddy116
Posts: 10622 - Karma: 7,396
i order from this place called galactic pizza, basically they show up in super hero costumes.

Click for larger image
nuff said
Jan 4 2013 10:14PM
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Bart.Man
Posts: 1742 - Karma: 1,951
This thread. It pleases me.

One time when I was like 13 I had ordered some pizza and while I was waiting I was doing the dishes. I plugged my headphones in and forgot the world outside of my tasty jams, the dishes and my gyrating hips. No exaggeration. So time passes and I continue to do the dishes. I was the only one home so no one heard the doorbell or knocking of the delivery guy. I keep on rockin to the music and dancing like a damn fool while scrubbing some dishes. A glass door at the back of our house looks directly in to the kitchen, and I see a movement out of the corner of my eye right about the time I start grinding on the cabinet under the sink. I look and its the pizza guy, just looking at the foolish dancing of a 13 year old white boy doing the dishes. I make the walk of shame to the glass door. I open it and say, "Sorry, I was listening to music." And all he says is' "Yeah. I could see that."
I pay him, he leaves, I chow down.

Jan 4 2013 10:51PM
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udr1v3m3cr4zy
Posts: 132 - Karma: 20
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Click for larger image


Got that request a few months ago (I deliver for a college campus pizza shop). Turned out pretty well, the chicks who sent it were pretty hot, so win win.

List of wierd customers I've had to deal with include meth cooks, naked crack whores, drunk kids with (loaded) shotguns, and my personal favorite, some sweedish slut dressed up in a "milkshake" costume which means friendly's themed underwear and nip tape.

also midgets.
Jan 4 2013 11:36PM
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Chinchi
Posts: 1591 - Karma: 4,210
Given that Chabs needs his pizza asap
Jan 4 2013 11:48PM
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Clameltoe
Posts: 108 - Karma: 248
So I take this delivery to a shit stain part of town I get to the house and knock, the guy takes forever to get to the door, while I'm waiting this stray dog starts sniffing the pizza so I try to push it away the dog starts growling so I get kinda freaked out the man opens the door and is an officer of the law the dog starts barking and biting at me so the cop kicks the dog in the head and knocks it out, pretty wild right?
Jan 4 2013 11:58PM
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Dlud
Posts: 938 - Karma: 544
I ordered a Pizza during school once, the pizza man came busting into my classroom to deliver. Mr. Fanger was not happy to say the least.
Jan 5 2013 1:10AM
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.Rybak.
Posts: 9017 - Karma: 9,864
I feel like this might be sig worthy.
Jan 5 2013 9:12AM
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,469
If you sig that i'll roofie you, then shove a tazer up your ass to wake you up, then rape you.
Jan 5 2013 6:59PM
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alex=
Posts: 1738 - Karma: 2,835
This thread is gold
Jan 5 2013 8:36PM
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.Rybak.
Posts: 9017 - Karma: 9,864
But it wouldn't be rape then.
Jan 5 2013 8:48PM
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,469
I'm sorry I didn't know you liked d in your b hole. Then ill just rape you with a cattle prong
Jan 5 2013 10:30PM
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Mr.Mitten
Posts: 1298 - Karma: 3,582
Seems sig worthy...
Jan 5 2013 11:01PM
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