Member of the Month

PartyBullshiit
March, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

How do you poop?

profile picture
ski.the.yeast
Posts: 1007 - Karma: 33
There are many ways we are individuals in the way we poop. A couple friends and I had a very interesting discussion about this just last week. Here are the options:

1. Do you pull your pants down to your thighs or down to your ankles?
2. Do you fold or crumple your toilet paper?
3. Do you wipe from the front or the back?
4. Do you wipe with an up or down motion?
5. Do you wipe sitting down or standing?

How I poop:
1. Pant down at ankles
2. I crumple carefully, so a little bit in between
3. I go in from the back!
4. I wipe with an up motion
5. I lean forward

So tell me ns! How do you poop?
Jun 22 2012 8:13PM
0 0
profile picture
cubber
Posts: 1933 - Karma: 638
long painful and fast, with as much repercussion as possible
Jun 22 2012 8:15PM
0 0
profile picture
gotti
Posts: 4269 - Karma: 4,548
Are you my doctor?
Jun 22 2012 8:16PM
0 0
profile picture
ski.the.yeast
Posts: 1007 - Karma: 33
that is a contradiction
Jun 22 2012 8:17PM
0 0
profile picture
Cufe.
Posts: 1950 - Karma: 262
I strip naked and poop while running around my lawn singing the national anthem. It helps ly grass grow nice and think and I feel proud of my country while doing it :)
Jun 22 2012 8:17PM
0 0
profile picture
ski.the.yeast
Posts: 1007 - Karma: 33
hahahahahahaha this made me chuckle
Jun 22 2012 8:19PM
0 0
profile picture
tds103
Posts: 679 - Karma: 74
i play gta on my psp when i take a shit. it is great esp when you're squeezing out a turd, because you can take all the pain and transfer it into killing people.
Jun 22 2012 8:20PM
0 0
profile picture
cubber
Posts: 1933 - Karma: 638
im bleeding from the butthole, and you stop to correct my english? im in pain please go get chemickals
Jun 22 2012 8:20PM
0 0
profile picture
Lansfield
Posts: 2708 - Karma: 321
I don't. I let it de compose in my body so I can get all the needed nutrients with any waste at all
Jun 22 2012 8:21PM
0 0
profile picture
.ZT.
Posts: 5679 - Karma: 2,792
lol at wiping from the front. some of these seem weird,
Jun 22 2012 8:27PM
0 0
profile picture
TACO-DOG.exe
Posts: 11986 - Karma: 12,239
out my bum.
Jun 22 2012 8:41PM
0 0
profile picture
ForeverYung
Posts: 8385 - Karma: 2,060
I'm usally pooping for 3 minutes and on NS for 10 minutes
Jun 22 2012 9:14PM
0 0
profile picture
theline
Posts: 1507 - Karma: 92
Click for larger image
Jun 22 2012 9:22PM
0 0
profile picture
BMB
Posts: 3138 - Karma: 232
1.ankles
2.crumple.
3.FRONT(wiping from the back just seems goofy)
4.both
5. Sitting down
Jun 22 2012 10:23PM
0 0
profile picture
.RYAN66
Posts: 5381 - Karma: 235
hahahah was wondering when this was going to happen.

but seriously, pants come off and I straddle the toilet like it was meant to be done.
Jun 22 2012 10:25PM
0 0
profile picture
PlaygroundRapist
Posts: 1307 - Karma: 26
1. Naked, feels so much better.
2. Fold, you can't get shit on your hands.
3. Front to back, more logical.
4. ?
5. Stand, just spread those cheeks wide open and smear all the shit right of.
Jun 22 2012 10:27PM
0 0
profile picture
Flying~Squirrel
Posts: 6494 - Karma: 192
Click for larger image
Jun 22 2012 10:36PM
0 0
profile picture
JWeinstock
Posts: 3439 - Karma: 1,352
ankles
crumble
back
up
both
Jun 22 2012 10:48PM
0 0
profile picture
CheddarJack
Posts: 5203 - Karma: 7,380
1. Ankles
2. Crumple
3. Back
4. Up
5. Standing
Jun 22 2012 10:55PM
0 0
profile picture
taylornicky
Posts: 2889 - Karma: 2,579
I don't.
Jun 22 2012 11:04PM
0 0
profile picture
HorsecockTony
Posts: 414 - Karma: 16
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAH I saw your were the last post in a pooping forum, so I came to contradict whatever you said, but you stuck to the rules.
Jun 22 2012 11:05PM
0 0
profile picture
Petey.
Posts: 5736 - Karma: 4,881
Ankles
Fold
Back
Up
Standing
Jun 22 2012 11:54PM
0 0
profile picture
ScuffDUFF
Posts: 2027 - Karma: 143
i am surprised that you all stand up to wipe your ass. Im a lean forward guy myself.
Jun 23 2012 12:06AM
0 0
profile picture
skiminnesota
Posts: 9093 - Karma: 429
always at work.

and WTF sitting to wipe, cant do an effective job IMO, also no one wants to stick there hand that close to shit water.
Jun 23 2012 12:45AM
0 0
profile picture
A_Harrington
Posts: 413 - Karma: 814
1. totally naked
2.i springroll that shit
3.reach around back
4.wipe up
5.just off leaning way foreward

also if its big and/or stanky i leave it for everyone to enjoy
Jun 23 2012 12:49AM
0 0
profile picture
3dressedupasa9
Posts: 445 - Karma: 113
this is what i do.

1. wet my hands a little bit
2. rub my hands on my ass cheeks so theyre a little moist
3. spread my cheeks a little then sit down. (my cheeks won't slip because they're a little wet)'
4. poop
5. barely have to wipe
6.??????
7.profit
Jun 23 2012 12:51AM
0 0
profile picture
pope.
Posts: 177 - Karma: 39
The Daniel Tosh way:
Sit backwards on the seat and eat cereal on the little toilet table
Jun 26 2012 2:10PM
0 0
profile picture
pat_in_the_hat
Posts: 3019 - Karma: 2,695
I jut spend 21 days on a fire in Colorado. Therefore I went 21 days without seeing a shower, running water, or a toilet. I have 21 little poops hidden throughout the Colorado wilderness. Each one I tried a different method. My favorite was the squat while holding the bole of a tree.
Jun 26 2012 2:13PM
0 0
profile picture
SterlingArcher
Posts: 2200 - Karma: 2,456
After i poo my mobile looks fudgy
Jun 26 2012 2:18PM
0 0
profile picture
B-WASS
Posts: 805 - Karma: 285
... a juicy contradiction?
Jun 26 2012 3:23PM
0 0
profile picture
hot.pocket
Posts: 4197 - Karma: 10,366
Click for larger image
Jun 26 2012 3:25PM
0 0
profile picture
DayMan
Posts: 4702 - Karma: 8,727
I don't have to wipe. Bidet's FTW!
Jun 26 2012 3:49PM
0 0
profile picture
.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,466
I poop with my mouth
Jun 26 2012 3:53PM
0 0
profile picture
sniche
Posts: 493 - Karma: 37
Standing up, from behind, upward motion, crumpled paper.....and I am very "anal" about wiping until there is no more poop streaks on the paper, even if that means using half a roll with 3 flushes.
Jun 26 2012 3:55PM
0 0
profile picture
teleRADo
Posts: 357 - Karma: 36
I take mine on the rocks.
Jun 26 2012 4:11PM
0 0
profile picture
wellthisisold
Posts: 840 - Karma: 973
This thread is a great beginning to summer NS.
Jun 27 2012 1:04AM
0 0
profile picture
ChuckTesta
Posts: 960 - Karma: 258
i don't go on NS for a few months and come back to this.....must be summer
Jun 27 2012 1:06AM
0 0
profile picture
Spaceberg
Posts: 394 - Karma: 12
1. Ankles
2. Combination of both (depending on dispersal of shit around the cornhole)
3. Back
4. Up
5. Standing

Shitting naked is done whenever possible
Jun 27 2012 3:17AM
0 0
profile picture
MASkier
Posts: 657 - Karma: 704
could not stop loling
Jun 29 2012 8:26PM
0 0
profile picture
MASkier
Posts: 657 - Karma: 704
with my dick....
Jun 29 2012 8:28PM
0 0
profile picture
Poop_nugget
Posts: 534 - Karma: -15
laughing so hard..
Jun 29 2012 10:05PM
0 0
profile picture
Anathema
Posts: 21048 - Karma: 5,061
1. i take my pants right the fuck off
2. i fold the toilet paper in a slightly crumply way
3. back to front. front to back is asking for skid marks. you gotta go two fingers deep and scoop that shit out
4. wtf is an up or down motion
5. i wipe from half squat above the toilet
Jun 29 2012 10:09PM
0 0
profile picture
Heart
Posts: 6156 - Karma: 3,462
Who folds....? I feel like the wetness of the poop and any toilet water that splashed onto your asshole would seep through the paper, leaving your hand a poopy mess.
Jun 29 2012 10:11PM
0 0
profile picture
Bateman
Posts: 8590 - Karma: 8,600
i fucking sit you fucking moron
Jun 29 2012 10:11PM
0 0
profile picture
Heart
Posts: 6156 - Karma: 3,462
THANK YOU!

there was video i watched once on youtube of some guys pooping off buildings set to this song and i really wanted to hear the song again.
Jun 29 2012 10:16PM
0 0
profile picture
whoa-dere
Posts: 10596 - Karma: 7,100
i do this too! it makes the poop come out easier also.

anyone else put a little bit of cold water on the tissue before they wipe? if it's a burning shit that make sit feel so good. a few days ago i had hot noodles and the resulting poop was darn spicy, the cold and refreshing tp makes it a lot better
Jun 29 2012 10:17PM
0 0
profile picture
edai
Posts: 4983 - Karma: 4,632
All you need to know is I take off my shirt and never wipe, just pinch.
Jun 29 2012 10:20PM
0 0
profile picture
fudgenuggets
Posts: 383 - Karma: -3,400
do people check how much poop is on your paper until there is no poop left
Jun 29 2012 10:29PM
0 0
profile picture
qeefmasterflex
Posts: 662 - Karma: 1,520
i put my diaper in the microwave so its already warm when i poop in it
Jun 29 2012 11:59PM
0 0
profile picture
qeefmasterflex
Posts: 662 - Karma: 1,520
Always liked that but you have to take your pants all the way of to do that
Jun 30 2012 12:01AM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-4)