Member of the Month

PartyBullshiit
March, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

Your username is how you die

profile picture
ORDEAL
Posts: 6386 - Karma: 75
Yes I know it's on other forums but not here

I'll start
I'm making a scene in the DMV when suddenly a rogue piece of sheet metal falls off an airliner and cuts my arm off.
On the way to the hospital, the apocalypse begins

Go
Mar 13 2012 1:32PM
4 1
profile picture
.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
Guess I'm gonna die skiing. Cool.
Mar 13 2012 1:33PM
0 0
profile picture
Milksteak
Posts: 9948 - Karma: 842
Intersting..
Mar 13 2012 1:33PM
0 0
profile picture
ORDEAL
Posts: 6386 - Karma: 75
Stories guys
Mar 13 2012 1:34PM
0 0
profile picture
Steve-Brown
Posts: 1894 - Karma: 810
just got real.
Mar 13 2012 1:34PM
0 0
profile picture
CheddarJack
Posts: 5203 - Karma: 7,380
Haaaa
Mar 13 2012 1:34PM
0 0
profile picture
Crossfade
Posts: 743 - Karma: 24
hmmm, what happens to me?
Mar 13 2012 1:35PM
0 0
profile picture
Lé.Skiing
Posts: 10035 - Karma: 8,122
.
Mar 13 2012 1:36PM
0 0
profile picture
Boggs
Posts: 1039 - Karma: 208
My last name... I come back from the future and kill myself?
Mar 13 2012 1:37PM
0 0
profile picture
Spic-N-SpaN
Posts: 2002 - Karma: 1,465
Hmmmm


Breakfast just got real
Mar 13 2012 1:37PM
0 0
profile picture
ORDEAL
Posts: 6386 - Karma: 75
A spoon flew out of the dishwasher. Headshot +50
Mar 13 2012 1:37PM
0 0
profile picture
Billek
Posts: 5665 - Karma: 98
My name is Mike Billek.  Whenever I die, my last name will be Billek, so it's a no-brainer.
Mar 13 2012 1:37PM
0 0
profile picture
ForrestW
Posts: 451 - Karma: 56
my future self finds out that i am responsible for the destruction of the universe but doesnt know why. i use a time machine to travel back in time to kill myself. once in current time myself and future self meet and matter and anti matter combines destroying the universe and i die.
Mar 13 2012 1:38PM
0 0
profile picture
1337
Posts: 31038 - Karma: 29,003
going out in elite fashion. PROOOOOOO
Mar 13 2012 1:38PM
0 0
profile picture
BrewskiJr
Posts: 5738 - Karma: 1,478
Alcoholism..


:(
Mar 13 2012 1:38PM
0 0
profile picture
Parrish
Posts: 8695 - Karma: 1,007
Looks like I just kill myself
Mar 13 2012 1:39PM
0 0
profile picture
BUTTMONKEY
Posts: 105 - Karma: 14
Let your mind do this rest...
Mar 13 2012 1:39PM
0 0
profile picture
a_pla5tic_bag
Posts: 9210 - Karma: 5,357
so, those warnings about suffocation hazards were true huh?
Mar 13 2012 1:40PM
0 0
profile picture
Trawltopilot
Posts: 545 - Karma: 95
my username stands for my ktm supermoto.....fuck
Mar 13 2012 1:41PM
0 0
profile picture
AcidKneeDrop
Posts: 890 - Karma: 279
I'm skiing, very freely i may add, when all of sudden le wild thirst appears and i must quench it at the nearest 711. After ingesting 3 pounds of slurpee I feel very satisfied and decide to go get some steeze to go along with my slurpee. I continue skiing, and after landing a triple cork 1800 with an alien grab (no big deal) i land with such great after bang that i spontaneously combust.

And that is the death of freeskier711
Mar 13 2012 1:42PM
0 0
profile picture
ChocolateMilk.
Posts: 1129 - Karma: 220
Click for larger image
Mar 13 2012 1:43PM
0 0
profile picture
AcidKneeDrop
Posts: 890 - Karma: 279
that was my old name.... damn ill change it back
Mar 13 2012 1:45PM
0 0
profile picture
E.C.
Posts: 3211 - Karma: 319
i am killed by an enormous cat in my sleep, it sits on my face suffocating me in my sleep.
Mar 13 2012 1:45PM
0 0
profile picture
neutralzombie
Posts: 8629 - Karma: 606
clearly suicide or gang fight. it all makes sense now.
Mar 13 2012 1:46PM
0 0
profile picture
Blurst
Posts: 13577 - Karma: 10,168
I die trying to save princess zelda. End of story
Mar 13 2012 1:46PM
0 0
profile picture
CheddarJack
Posts: 5203 - Karma: 7,380
Go to his profile..... Whatt?
Mar 13 2012 1:46PM
0 0
profile picture
act.resist
Posts: 8875 - Karma: 513
i die by raspberry
Mar 13 2012 1:49PM
0 0
profile picture
Mr_Bump
Posts: 689 - Karma: 427
Click for larger image

someone make a picture of me and I'll avatar the best one. kill me however you want, but most likely a solid bump is what will kill me off
Mar 13 2012 1:49PM
0 0
profile picture
.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
Click for larger image
Mar 13 2012 1:55PM
0 0
profile picture
theBearJew
Posts: 10951 - Karma: 15,633
sooo a jewish bear is going to kill me?
Mar 13 2012 1:56PM
0 0
profile picture
[hamnuts]
Posts: 2356 - Karma: 439
I guess I'll die as jailbait...
Mar 13 2012 1:57PM
0 0
profile picture
PON3
Posts: 3817 - Karma: 783
This is what PON3 is:

This gene is a member of the paraoxonase family and lies in a cluster on chromosome 7 with the other two family members. The encoded protein is secreted into the bloodstream and associates with high-density lipoprotein (HDL). The protein also rapidly hydrolyzes lactones and can inhibit the oxidation of low-density lipoprotein (LDL), a function that is believed to slow the initiation and progression of atherosclerosis. Alternatively spliced variants which encode different protein isoforms have been described; however, only one has been fully characterized

How I will die:

My body will stop producing the protein PON3, which goes into my blood stream. This will cause my blood to be poisonous and kill me.
Mar 13 2012 2:02PM
0 0
profile picture
amo
Posts: 6709 - Karma: 1,248
Yeah. Me
Mar 13 2012 2:06PM
0 0
profile picture
TACO-DOG.exe
Posts: 11986 - Karma: 12,239
i'm going to be buried by mass amounts of puppies and tacos.
Mar 13 2012 2:07PM
0 0
profile picture
steep
Posts: 6063 - Karma: 297
I'm gonna fall down a steep hill?
Mar 13 2012 2:24PM
0 0
profile picture
k-fred
Posts: 5363 - Karma: 1,598


? but there's just no killer, just a spoon that hit you in the air haha
Mar 13 2012 2:27PM
0 0
profile picture
CliffyByro
Posts: 5678 - Karma: 3,903
going to die listening to my favourite band? i can live with that
Mar 13 2012 2:27PM
0 0
profile picture
GrabsForFun
Posts: 1378 - Karma: 396
 I will either die while grabing a ski or some ass... Nice
Mar 13 2012 2:44PM
0 0
profile picture
Where-am-I
Posts: 1635 - Karma: 281
lost in the wilderness, obviously
Mar 13 2012 2:44PM
0 0
profile picture
Trace.
Posts: 1460 - Karma: 624
Someones going to trace me to death?
Mar 13 2012 2:45PM
0 0
profile picture
Malcolm
Posts: 15949 - Karma: 9,431
does that mean i commit suicide? or does someone else named Malcolm kill me
Mar 13 2012 2:46PM
0 0
profile picture
TechnoPotamus
Posts: 11626 - Karma: 3,522
So I'm in a strange european nightclub, dancing rhythmically to some sweet beats with my dude TechnoViking and his friend Hans, when all of a fucking sudden - BAM - it starts raining hippopotamus' from the sky! A 3,000 pounder crashes through the ceiling landing directly on top of me, immediately teabagging me to my glorious techno death. ~Fin~

Click for larger image
Click for larger image
Mar 13 2012 2:48PM
0 0
profile picture
CliffyByro
Posts: 5678 - Karma: 3,903
can't think of a better way to go
Mar 13 2012 2:52PM
0 0
profile picture
Haellgren
Posts: 792 - Karma: 86
I dont see.
Mar 13 2012 2:52PM
0 0
profile picture
Haellgren
Posts: 792 - Karma: 86
i dont see.
Mar 13 2012 2:53PM
0 0
profile picture
Legoman
Posts: 533 - Karma: 13
little yellow fuckers!
Mar 13 2012 2:54PM
0 0
profile picture
yuck
Posts: 8384 - Karma: 2,090
mine probably won't end well
Mar 13 2012 3:05PM
0 0
profile picture
AndrewGravesSV
Posts: 3067 - Karma: 14,904
strangled......shit
Mar 13 2012 3:10PM
0 0
profile picture
Poems
Posts: 1041 - Karma: 3
Oh no... Not Pokemon...
Mar 13 2012 3:15PM
0 0
profile picture
The.Owl.
Posts: 145 - Karma: 5
Click for larger image


damn you moonkin!!!
Mar 13 2012 3:43PM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-4)