So tonight, I was heading out on my way to meet my bf, and I got rear-ended. The entire back end of my parent's SUV was crunched, and i might have gotten whiplash (going to the doctors tommorow). So i get home after dealing with the police and everything, and my mom offers to drive me to the theater to meet my bf. So I went to the movie, had fun, took my mind off the crash and everything. We get out of the movie and I see I have two voicemail messages. The first was from my brother telling me to call him when i wanted a ride home, then the second was from my mom. Turns out that not 6 hours after my accident, my mom got a call saying that my brother's car was TOTALED in a hit and run in the parking lot of the bar he was in at the time, thank god he wasnt in the car. So now one car is really badly damaged and cant be driven until it gets fixed, and the other is completely trashed, way beyond repair, (he's still talking to the police, waiting for him to get home) all in the space of 6 hours.
'hey look guys! For a dollar you can get a free condom!'
- a friend when she saw the condom dispenser in the bathroom
'We could give him milk after filling his epipen with heroin and turn him into a drug addict'
- a guy thinking of ways to get revenge on someone who is deathly allergic to milk