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Interesting Hospital Story

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hendriab
Posts: 990 - Karma: 404
So I just had surgery, got a piece of intestine removed.  Whatever, post op is going well.  However, since I was put under, I needed a catheter, a rubber tube up my dick so I didnt piss all over the OR. 

The surgery was yesterday morning, had the catheter removed this morning (best feeling ever.  Think of holding the biggest piss youve ever had for the longest time, and letting it go, but multiply that by 1000).  However, since ive never had a catheter before, my prostate got all pissed off, swelled up and shut off urine flow....so I couldnt piss all day while they were pumping me full of IV fluid.

So they take a US of my bladder, and I got like a liter of piss in my bladder, and they gotta get rid of it.  So this extremely nice African-American nurse enters the room with her equally nice African-American med student, and proceed to sterilize my dick and put a catheter in, right on the spot.  No anesthesia, only the morphine I have been on for a few days.  Unfortunately, while they were doing this...my dick has never been smaller haha.  I realize they are professionals, but I wouldnt have thought less of them for chuckling haha, it was pretty embarrassing.  I was pretty nervous, and it was a bit awkward, but they were cool about it.  Figured you guys would get a kick out of that.

Sparknotes: Two chicks had to shove a rubber tube up my dick (during extreme stage fright) to drain the liter of piss from my bladder after surgery

 
Nov 9 2011 5:46PM
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PopsicleStand
Posts: 6890 - Karma: 147
We know, and we understand.*



*source- I put those in all the time.
Nov 9 2011 5:48PM
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TheHamburglar
Posts: 3895 - Karma: 3,314
ouch
Nov 9 2011 5:50PM
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hendriab
Posts: 990 - Karma: 404
dont know if how you mean in this post, but it makes me feel better. haha thanks man +k.
Nov 9 2011 5:57PM
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PopsicleStand
Posts: 6890 - Karma: 147
Your dick can shrivel up for all kinds of reasons. Don't sweat it we don't judge you. I mean i'm touching your dick for gods sakes, I don't care about it I just have to carry out orders, soldier style.
Nov 9 2011 5:59PM
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J_Christoph
Posts: 2519 - Karma: 8,750
uncomfortable much?
Nov 9 2011 6:00PM
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1337
Posts: 31038 - Karma: 29,003
>black women
Nov 9 2011 6:02PM
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quaive
Posts: 1055 - Karma: 99
.
Nov 9 2011 6:04PM
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hendriab
Posts: 990 - Karma: 404
i figure it was the closest ill probably ever get to nailing a black chick, having a threesome, or having a threesome with 2 black chicks....even though I totally understand there was literally no chance.
Nov 9 2011 6:04PM
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.squirrely.
Posts: 7563 - Karma: 7,540
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Nov 9 2011 6:05PM
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Evilchris
Posts: 2090 - Karma: 43
It would've been way more Awkaward if you had a raging boner...
Nov 9 2011 6:06PM
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hendriab
Posts: 990 - Karma: 404
haha good point
Nov 9 2011 6:07PM
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Hoppy
Posts: 685 - Karma: 95
How come you had some intestine removed? Do you have crohns?
Nov 9 2011 6:20PM
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mmallender.
Posts: 5805 - Karma: 936
or awkward if they were hot and super tiny penis....?
Nov 9 2011 6:27PM
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hendriab
Posts: 990 - Karma: 404
jea lets get a bump here, i still got at least one more day here, looking more like two.  Anyone else have any good hospital stories / tips. 

I just woke from what must have been a decent sleep-walk, peeing in the sink (i have to pee in a vessel to record my void number (but since that first cath, Im peeing like a champ!)) with my IV pulling at my and my morphine battery pack dead, thus failing to pump my pain meds haha....well that part sucks cause im in some decent pain now. 

welp, someone help me out, whats good NS?!
Nov 10 2011 5:16AM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,267
i had to spend 4 days in a hospital when i ruptured my spleen and i didn't have a computer or a tv or anything and the last thing i wanted to do was sleep and it was the most boring stretch of time in my entire life. i wasn't sick or visibly injured but i wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything and i had an iv and it was pretty shitty, but i didn't have to get surgery so i was stoked about that
Nov 10 2011 5:43AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51260 - Karma: 157,382
I remember my first catheter
Nov 10 2011 6:29AM
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JamesR
Posts: 3396 - Karma: -12
dont have any good stories, but here's hoping for your quick recovery bro!
Nov 10 2011 6:32AM
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JakeAssBeatClap
Posts: 6673 - Karma: 2,535
nothing will put the old turtle back in its shell like the combination of stage fright and a tube getting shoved up your urethra. We understand brother! hahaha
Nov 10 2011 6:41AM
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SkiThe603
Posts: 5376 - Karma: 498
damnmeng
Nov 10 2011 6:52AM
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Park_Ranger
Posts: 3825 - Karma: 8,634
you should have asked if they would stick the other end of the tube in the nurse's butt... so you can pee in it of course.
Nov 10 2011 8:16AM
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SkiThe603
Posts: 5376 - Karma: 498
that is a very interesting hospital story
Nov 10 2011 10:00AM
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hendriab
Posts: 990 - Karma: 404
haha you guys crack me up.  Im trying to think if anything else has happened thats been weird, but not really.  Now that I can piss on my own, everyone is leaving my dick alone, and im off the morphine so I dont get any more crack dreams , just on some shitty 50mg oxys.  shits weak haha
Nov 10 2011 2:07PM
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soulskier
Posts: 17805 - Karma: 3,821
damn adam, the things you'll do for five bucks
Nov 10 2011 2:27PM
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GeneralT
Posts: 912 - Karma: 19
ouchie
Nov 10 2011 2:35PM
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KrazyistKarl
Posts: 1725 - Karma: 599
threads when I'm not on mobile to tell my hospital story from halloween weekend
Nov 10 2011 2:45PM
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hendriab
Posts: 990 - Karma: 404
well they werent hot, but certainly not bad looking either.  and both pretty cool, easy to talk to all that shit. 
Nov 10 2011 2:46PM
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PopsicleStand
Posts: 6890 - Karma: 147
lol, tennnn....tennnn bucks
Nov 10 2011 3:31PM
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trettzilla
Posts: 931 - Karma: 29
i feel like that would hurt. a lot
Nov 10 2011 4:26PM
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hendriab
Posts: 990 - Karma: 404
ill tell ya what, it doesnt feel good....but its not exactly screaming painful, just more awkward. Like the most awkward feeling ever and some pain, but combine those feelings with your most sacred of places, and it makes for a pretty jarring experience haha. But there are most certainly worse feelings in a hospital. Additionally, I have a pretty healthy ureter, urethra (just a swoll up prostate at the time), but Im sure if you had something like a UTI or some sort of bladder or prostate cancer, you would be looking at some serious pain
Nov 10 2011 5:55PM
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Darth.Maul
Posts: 2472 - Karma: 652
Ughhhh catheters. I had one when i was in the hospital for 2 days after my butt cut skiing injury 2 years ago. I remember when the nurse (male nurse FML) told me they had to put a catheter in my penis shriveled. Mine wasn't painful it was just suuuuper wierd. It's like the feeling of peeing, but in reverse and the whole nurse (male nurse.....) grabbing my dick while sticking a hollow tube up my penis hole doesn't help with the wierd feelings.
Nov 10 2011 6:59PM
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hendriab
Posts: 990 - Karma: 404
exactly, no pain just awk. but that awkward feeling down there gives you the same, like, visceral reaction that pain would give you, like the shuddering, wincing, wimpering lol that kinda shit
Nov 10 2011 7:08PM
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zues
Posts: 6434 - Karma: -5,332
drool cory sro
Nov 10 2011 7:21PM
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eNeRGy
Posts: 270 - Karma: 48
I also had the unpleasant experience of having a cather removed. From your story you enjoyed it? It was terrible! Imagine having a tube shoved up your dick hole and then later pulled out. It's not as much painful as it is strange, but it is not by any means a pleasant experience. Oh and I had stage fright too. My dick was smaller than when i fell through the ice in a pond
Nov 10 2011 7:37PM
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hendriab
Posts: 990 - Karma: 404
Na bro having it removed was a huge relief haha like taking a giant piss Like I would rather not have one in at all but it was nice to get it out Ps I just took my first dump since Monday! That means my surgery was succsessful and I get to go back home tomorrow! I love all of u
Nov 10 2011 9:33PM
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EricaMN.
Posts: 2704 - Karma: 346
hahahahahahaha
Nov 10 2011 9:37PM
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soulskier
Posts: 17805 - Karma: 3,821
the jones soda logo comes to mind "you gotta make a living somehow, i chose the..."
Nov 10 2011 9:48PM
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zues
Posts: 6434 - Karma: -5,332
to be honest; good for you! i've heard cathetors are the worst. once you get through it you can conquer the world.
Nov 11 2011 1:48AM
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hendriab
Posts: 990 - Karma: 404
Yo I appreciate the vibes man and cracking up over all the other cath stories haha
Nov 11 2011 2:34AM
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prosnurfer
Posts: 1842 - Karma: 83

hahah same typw of thing happened to me, i had my appendix out and they told me if i didnt piss in the next 2 hours thye were going to put one in and i was liek no way fuck that i can not handle that shit. so thye brought a female nurse in who was not too bad looking to help me stand up so i can try to pee.

most embarrasing thing ever, i was standing there being held up by some hot chick wail i was crying looking at my tiny dick trying to pee little trickels.

so fucked up

Nov 11 2011 11:39AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51260 - Karma: 157,382
Why didn't they just give you one of the containers with the little handle on it to pee into. I pissed strapped to a backboard. NBD


Nov 11 2011 11:45AM
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[evan]
Posts: 5628 - Karma: 119
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Nov 11 2011 11:52AM
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