I'll keep it short.. But it's bad. Last Saturday night I was watching paranormal activity with this girl (we were both quite under the influence) and she was grabbin on me and shit so I knew the deed had to be done. I called my friend who was out of town with his parents and asked him if I could use his house. He agreed and said don't make a mess.
Needless to say, a mess was made. In our drunken stupor, we wound up having sex on his parents nice bed. Little did I know at the time, she was a virgin. And she managed to bleed on the fucking sheets. I'm talking all over the damn things. Fucking everywhere. The second I see it, I whip them off and dump bleach all over em, stick it in the washing machine, and then set it for heavy stains and 2 hours worth of washing. I toss the condom in the bottom of the trashcan and set off to a party.
I came back the next morning and remake the bed, the stains were all gone thank god. Smelled fuckin' fresh too. So I fixed it up, made it look all nice n shit. Peaced outa there before the cat lady came by to feed his little kitten. Fast forward two days and a few hours to about 5:00 this evening... I get a text message from this kid...
"My mom found your rubber"
Of course my response was..
"FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK WHAT DID YOU SAY!?"
"Dude I told her that ****** stayed the night while we were gone cause he didn't have a place to stay.. So she said to talk to him and ask what the fuck happened."
"So now what?"
"I don't know."
So now that leaves me in a relatively dire situation. He said someone who isn't me was staying there.. What do we do to get out of this while not getting anyone fucked over?
SPARKNOTES: Fucked a girl at a friend's empty house. Tossed condom in trashcan. Parents come home and find condom. Ask son what it's about. He says a friend (who isn't me) stayed the night and he'd ask him what happened. Now we have less than 24 hours to figure out a story that doesn't get anyone in trouble.