i hate when the legs of my boxers get rolled up when i put on pants in the morning, so i always reach into my pants and pull them back down.
i hate when my bedsheet comes up higher than my comforter, so i always have to rearrange my bed so that the sheet doesnt come up too far on my face when im sleeping.
i play with my hair more than any man ever should, especially when im trying to fall asleep at night.
when i jerk off i usually have about 10 videos open to just the right spot so that when im about to blow i click through them all in rapid succession and enjoy the variety.
sometimes i get in weird moods and just made really awkward faces for no reason as if to make myself laugh.
when im bored i often close my mouth and bite the edge of my tongue with the sharp spots of my teeth, sometimes even to the point where i make myself bleed.
when i drive by other drivers or people walking down the street i often make fun of them out loud to myself in some awful way. example: "yeah you keep walking your dumbass little poofball dog you fat bastard." or "come on, you can do it, keep driving, yeah you're going 20 under the speed limit, lets go you dumbass old lady."
i also knock on my teeth alot with my knuckles. i dont know why. its almost like when people bang their fingers on a desk to make drum beats. i will bonk my teeth and chomp down to different beats.
if i eat a bagel with cream cheese, i absolutely have to scoop the excess cream cheese out of the hole in the middle.
when im alone in my room i'll often do really weird stretches on my bed. i'll lay down on my back and do half a back sommersault and just hold my ass up in the air and stretch my back and neck out, or i'll lay down in some awkward twisted yoga pose. you know, the kind of shit you'd never do if people were around.
every once in a while when im sitting down, bored, in boxers or sweats, i'll just pull them out and look down at my penis and say "oh hello thar!"
on the topic of penises, i'll still helicopter in the mirror after a shower...
