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March, 2024

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Misquoting Famous People

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baethoven
Posts: 4953 - Karma: 332
Recently a few friends and I have been making our facebook statuses ridiculously made up quotes, and have been quoting famous people saying them. It turns out people love it, and have joined in.

examples:

‎"I once used a series of leaves that I sewed together myself as a condom in an attempt to go green. We both got poison ivy. Best sex I've ever had."
~ Joseph Stalin

‎"It was amazing. One momentary lapse in judgement and I had ended up at another cheap motel, with yet another dead call girl lying next to me. This was the first time the thought that I had a problem crossed my mind." ~ Miles Davis

‎"They say marijuana is a gateway drug. I didnt believe it until I decided to pop a few acid tablets with the bros one night and ended up eating out a 14 year old deaf mute. Now I spend about 2500 a month on hard drugs....and herpes medication." -Franklin D. Roosevelt


So NS lets see some, cause I know ya'll are more creative than the lot of us.

May 23 2011 1:57PM
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jblaski
Posts: 5561 - Karma: 1,027
"The problem with the Internet is you never know when people are just making up false facts." -- Thomas Jefferson
May 23 2011 11:02PM
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a_pla5tic_bag
Posts: 9210 - Karma: 5,357
Click for larger image
May 23 2011 11:06PM
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WhiteDynamite
Posts: 134 - Karma: 9
threads......
May 23 2011 11:08PM
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katie.
Posts: 2833 - Karma: 874
I wish I was witty enough to contribute. Threads.
May 23 2011 11:10PM
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Cow_Jibber
Posts: 382 - Karma: 103
This thread is Sickter
May 23 2011 11:11PM
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Cow_Jibber
Posts: 382 - Karma: 103
sorry for the double post, but just thought of one:

Mo Money Mo problems - Ghandi
May 23 2011 11:12PM
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katie.
Posts: 2833 - Karma: 874
"you'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take." - Kurt cobain
May 23 2011 11:18PM
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pimpcat
Posts: 858 - Karma: 321
"What the fucking Chinese downhill?!?" -Bode Miller
May 24 2011 10:23AM
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RubberSoul
Posts: 11249 - Karma: 14,642
hahaa i especially liked the mozart one coming after that lil wayne one
May 24 2011 10:46AM
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feihlination
Posts: 8356 - Karma: 1,084
i always wrote such stuff to "promote" my vids/edits on fb or so. saying stuff like, idk

"funny but not laughable, emotional but not cheesy, probably the best movie i have ever seen" - dalai lama

"what can i say, picture perfect" - pope benedict XVI

"feihlination is the new shit in the editing scene. the epitome of a rising star. brighter than shia lebeouf (sp?) and lady gaga together, he is setting a new standard for motion arts, catapulting himself in the spheres of john henry moutford, frederic gasteaux and david w gibson." - john f kennedy

(the last three names, if you dont know them, shame on you, seriously, how are you even human?)






jk, i made them up on the spot, with one exception. e cred for the one who knows without google whats the 'trick' behind "david w gibson". and may god destroy your soul and your dog if you google it and say you didnt.
May 24 2011 11:38AM
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Davy.Crockett
Posts: 5373 - Karma: 323
thats pretty witty...
May 24 2011 11:44AM
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baethoven
Posts: 4953 - Karma: 332
you're good haha
May 24 2011 1:50PM
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spidermanatadesk
Posts: 491 - Karma: 10
“I really see no problem with it. At least half of the people involved are enjoying it. Why spoil their fun? --Zach Braff on rape.

"I thought the dollar menu solved that?" - Zach Braff on world hunger


May 24 2011 2:20PM
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pimpcat
Posts: 858 - Karma: 321
Well, my co-workers think I came to work baked today. I chuckled at that bad Larry for a while.
May 24 2011 2:43PM
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seward
Posts: 5233 - Karma: 2,174
"Kobe" - Barack Obama after winning presidential election.
May 24 2011 2:51PM
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AwR
Posts: 5147 - Karma: 1,878
It's only after you've lost everything, that you're free to do anything.
tiger woods

"some men just want to watch the world burn" Smokey the Bear

"That what does not kill you makes you stronger" Stevie Wonder


May 24 2011 2:53PM
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T.DUB
Posts: 343 - Karma: 36

"lurdursmarpfar" -Hellen Keller

o wait that isnt a misquote

May 24 2011 3:00PM
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COskier
Posts: 1066 - Karma: 131
Awesome, I'm gonna use that.


Sometimes the stars look like God was drinking milk and the angel Gabriel said something funny. No, I’m not high.
—
Galileo Galilei

And the best part, totally cropdusted the place on my way out.
— John Wilkes Booth
May 24 2011 3:04PM
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The_Hannes
Posts: 285 - Karma: 63
threas
May 24 2011 3:10PM
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reverendwrong
Posts: 3145 - Karma: 142
"WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE! I said I hate JUICE not JEWS! Well, fuck we've gone too far already, lets just invade Poland"- Adolf Hitler
May 24 2011 4:31PM
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The.Man
Posts: 212 - Karma: 249
Favorite, EVER
May 24 2011 5:49PM
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Get.Kronk
Posts: 2543 - Karma: 226
"Found the license plate! Do I win the scavenger hunt? Why are you all following me?"


Ghandi
May 24 2011 6:23PM
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funkmasterFLEX
Posts: 319 - Karma: 14
ya thats it, now you're getting it
May 24 2011 6:30PM
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CousinEddie
Posts: 633 - Karma: 215
Louis Braille once said, " ..:::..:..::..:: "
May 24 2011 7:23PM
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geteducated
Posts: 6410 - Karma: 86
"what the fuck was that!?" - Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis.
May 24 2011 7:26PM
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Raptor.
Posts: 784 - Karma: 255
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May 24 2011 7:57PM
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The.Man
Posts: 212 - Karma: 249
I can't tell if that's funny or not.

But I laughed.
May 24 2011 8:08PM
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SeanTom
Posts: 7936 - Karma: 1,747
It's time to kickass and chew bubble gum... and i'm all out of gum- Neil Armstrong
May 24 2011 8:09PM
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Ethan.G
Posts: 1166 - Karma: 465
"I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!" - Amelia Earheart, july 1937
May 24 2011 8:17PM
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BrewskiJr
Posts: 5738 - Karma: 1,478
"Don't ask what your country can do for you, but rather ask what you can do to screw your country." George W. Bush

"If at first you don't succeed, you suck at suicide"-Adolf Hitler

May 24 2011 8:40PM
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blindside
Posts: 5619 - Karma: 1,199
oh that's good.
May 24 2011 8:59PM
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McFellon
Posts: 1841 - Karma: 2,005
"You guys I got it! Let's make the suicide hotline redirect to the air force recruiting office!" -Korechika Anami, Japanese Minister of War, 1945
May 24 2011 9:08PM
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baethoven
Posts: 4953 - Karma: 332
"you sure you had those seatbelts fixed?" ~ Princess Diana
May 24 2011 9:23PM
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BEARS.
Posts: 5380 - Karma: 696
im higher than a bald eagle and this pond is cool as fuck. - henry david thoreau
May 24 2011 10:57PM
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tuna.
Posts: 2627 - Karma: 111
"winning isnt everything" - charlie sheen.
May 24 2011 11:07PM
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ORDEAL
Posts: 6386 - Karma: 75
Threads
May 24 2011 11:18PM
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E.FARR
Posts: 1297 - Karma: 25
"What are you famous for?"
"Nothing. I'm Just famous." -Justin Bieber
May 24 2011 11:18PM
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alexat955
Posts: 2732 - Karma: 112
hahaha
May 24 2011 11:24PM
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[tk]
Posts: 3863 - Karma: 1,906
"oops, i accidentally pooed myself. there's no going back now." - Rosa Parks
May 25 2011 1:01PM
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Skierguy1234
Posts: 1684 - Karma: 88
"boats and hoes, boats and hoes, gotta have me my boats and hoes"- Jack from Titanic

"I throw my hands up in the air sometimes, singin ayyyyooooo, im Galileoooooo"- Galileo

"momma drank a lot when she was pregnant with me"- Forest Gump

"man fuck these niggas, ima spare everything but these niggas"- John Wilkes Booth

"thats when she li-li-li-licked me like a lollipop"- Bill Clinton

May 26 2011 1:14AM
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Proletariat.
Posts: 1797 - Karma: 45
Trotsky take off the fucking glasses , you look like a hipster - Joseph Stalin
May 26 2011 1:28AM
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timmi
Posts: 12874 - Karma: 3,460
"So anyway as it turns out, there is such thing as a 3 dollar coin in Indonesia, and I never would have guessed that a tennis ball would fit. But a bets a bet... took me 3 weeks to walk properly again." Queen Elizabeth.
May 26 2011 2:32AM
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The.Man
Posts: 212 - Karma: 249
HAHAHAHAHAHA love it
May 26 2011 7:28AM
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Afeld
Posts: 3516 - Karma: 84
And I would've gotten away with it too, if it worn't for you meddlin' kids - Richard Nixon
May 26 2011 7:35AM
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theline
Posts: 1507 - Karma: 92
completely lost it
May 26 2011 8:25AM
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quaive
Posts: 1055 - Karma: 99
here comes the ban
May 26 2011 8:54AM
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HangThePope
Posts: 749 - Karma: 19
I know you don't smoke weed, I know this; but I'm gonna get you high today, cause it's Friday; you ain't got no job... and you ain't got shit to do. - Rebecca Black
May 26 2011 6:09PM
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T.DUB
Posts: 343 - Karma: 36
i dont get the error if im on a mac or windows 7

May 27 2011 9:31AM
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=^]
Posts: 231 - Karma: 13
im not gay- justin bieber
May 27 2011 10:16AM
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Gnarshmellow
Posts: 304 - Karma: 30
threads
May 28 2011 11:35AM
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All times are Eastern (-4)