"why are you wearing a man dress? i thought those were for girls?"
-An anonymous five year old who i was teaching to ski asking me about my tall t
"skiing is so masculine that it needs to be counteracted by a touch of femininity."
-the old gaper guy next to the lesson i was teaching in the lift line
"I'm going to insist in my will that when I die, I'm laid in my coffin in the afterbang position. So I'm 'banging for eternity" -ClauseFour
"I'm never getting kids. Posh fuckers thinking they could be better than me... I'll rip you outta the womb with the sharpened edges of my AR5's, bitches." - Mike-O