In all seriousness I've read what you said like three or four times and I'm still grappling to comprehend it all. So seriously, focus on your last stint on high school a bit more, because that was horrid to read.
That said, you have way more options than you're giving yourself. Your parents are looking out for your best interest as somebody else pointed out, but that may not work for what you want, and in the end it is what you want to do that matters (unless they're forking over all the tuition and housing costs).
Taking a year off is nice. I didn't do it, and wouldn't personally do it myself, but it gives you time to go for shit that you want. But if you do plan to go the gap year/ski bum year, plan it out well. You can land a job at a ski resort in Colorado, California, or something fairly easily. The problem is the pay is usually always shit, except for some potential perks like passes. You need to save some money to have fun, but it is relatively easy to do. Work your ass off all summer to pad your skiing funds, and meanwhile try to line up a job asap. if it is a four-season type resort, consider getting a jump start and going there in the summer, which means... plan now. Ask yourself what you really want. Is it to be in the park scene for a bit? or do you want to ski... a lot? pow? Simple, menial questions like that have big implications on where you go, what you will do when you're there. Regardless, it is a big commitment, so focus your goals a bit more. I read a blob of goals, want, inhibition, resentment, etc.
Skiing in school is also fairly easy to do, especially pre-major. I have zero clue what your school system is like, but when I was in high school, I was able to take college courses at a local community college. That freed up a lot of my time in high school to ski a shitton because I was only at school 2, maybe 3 days per week. Once I was in a university, that helped out because I didn't have to take bs requirement classes (like your basic english classes and other shit), so my schedule became a product of my wants, and that was skiing. With an online class here and there, an evening upper-division something-or-other, I was skiing six days a week. Worked part time to scrape by, but it was a blast. If you're serious about your education (and quite frankly if you're going to spend the time in a college, spending them money, than you better fucking be serious), your years in your major might not be as forgiving, depending on what school and program you're in. But.. you can always ski after school, too.
You will probably want to work during school just for some shit that you'll need, or other monies. But you do not need to work full time, even if it is what your parents want/dictate you to do (unless it is a condition for tuition money as I mentioned earlier). It is all up to you, and if you're out of state anyway, it shouldn't be much of an issue.
There are other options to make the experience more integrated. Depending on school and program, you can say fuck winter quarter (or semester) and opt to do that course work in the summer, or just extend your school duration. I couldn't do that with architecture, but I know others that either work or go to school in the summer to compensate skiing in the winter.
I guess the easiest thing to do is just evaluate what you really want to do and research/examine how to do it effectively, while keeping in mind that spontaneity and random shit could alter what you will and want to do.