One time i was squatting in the weight room of my school during gym and i was on my last set so the weight was up to 300 pounds, which is pretty heavy for me. So i get loosened up and my spotter gives me the "u ready?" nod, "why yes, yes i am", i said. I needed three reps to raise my max. So i get the bastard on my shoulders and giver her a squat...first one successful, i get down real nice for number 2...it was a doozy, but i got it done. At this point half the weight room was watching me because i grunt like a badass when i lift for shits and gigs (its kind of an inside joke for non-football players to do this because it pisses all the football players off). i prep myself for numero tres. i begin my descent. AND THEN OUT OF NOWHERE I GIGANTIC BROWN HURRICANE OF A FART BLASTS OUT MY ASSHOLE! i had no idea i had to fart, the fucker caught me off guard. everyone stared, the ladies were mesmerized and the gentlemen were jealous. there was a few giggles here and there but most of em were just aghast at the magnitude of such a force. i got a slow clap from some and then the scene broke up. hell of a day
back i 8th grade i was in an elevator at the air and space museum with some of my friends and right before we walked out i ripped ass sooo hard and long, and then one of my buddies joined in and we finished and walked out and there was like 10 people waiting outside the elevator.
our science teacher was really pissed at us and was holding a grudge forever
i ripped one soooo loud and he cracked up... it solved the whole problem
In sophomore biology i remember being in front of the whole class reading out of the book (i will have you know it was dead silent). i remember i noticed my teacher (who happens to be a girl) moving around slightly uncomfortably, but disregarded it. less than 10 seconds later someone just rips ass, and i mean it was a dirty wet nasty one. i try to contain myself by continuing to read and pretending nothing happened, but i couldnt. i immediately stop reading and look up directly and my teacher like what the fuck are you serious? everyone awkwardly looked at her with a grin and she admitted it quite proudly. fucking weird. she was sitting at my seat too so i had to waft in the residue after reading...FUCK
oh ya and just recently i had a bad one.
so after school im laying on this bench in the lobby, with girls standing all around me. i had to shit pretty bad, and was holding back a serious fart (didn't want to be rude of course cuz this shit was gonna smell). anyway out of the blue my girlfriend comes up and sits down right on my stomach, pushing out the massive gas bubble in my stomach. my ass erupted in a fart, attracting the attention of everyone near me. my girlfriend just laughed and walked away, leaving me alone with all the girls looking at me in disgust. im not gonna lie it was embarrassing