First off, if you post in this thread IT MUST BE A TRUE STORY ABOUT YOU. No reposts from some random person you know's trip to Cancun from last spring break, etc. If you do this, you will be zipped naked into a sleeping bag with ECB and his cousin. The fat one.
I'll start with one I posted up on TGR a while back and seeing some of the sex ROTFLcopters around here, I figured you NSers are ready for a tiny glimpse inside my life. If the masses like it, I've got more.
So a couple weeks ago I'm at a really good friend's bachelor party. Absolute mayhem, went from gun range>bars>strip club>hotel rooms to meet up with the girls in the wedding party and got ABSOLUTELY SHITFACED. At some point, I passed out while partying in the hotel and was apparently helped to a bed. Well next thing I know, I wake up to getting a fkn tug job! I opened my eyes and realized I had no idea where I was and it was really total darkness, so I couldn't even see who had their hand down my pants shakeweightin' my johnson. "Huh? Who... Who is that?" I ask, confused yet obviously not wanting to interrupt the rhythm. "It's Jill- hope you don't mind, I kinda just helped myself since you're in my bed" (jill is a cute friend of mine I used to hook up with from waaaaay back) I reply with a chuckle, reach over to my pantalons and grab a rubber, get it put on and start taking that meatwallet's lunch money... I mean shit talking, ass-smacking, hair pulling, really hard & loud "clapper" fucking etc... Really pretty awesome. When I finish I pull the fucker off and being in a hotel room, I tied the bitch off and tossed it wherever.
"AW WHAT THE FUCK!?!???" I hear from the darkness...
I click on the light next to the bed and wouldn't ya know it- unbeknownst to me there were about eight people passed out everywhere in the room- floor, chairs, bed, etc... and I just hit one that was passed out on the floor RIGHT IN THE FACE and he was all "pbbbbbthpbppbpbbpbthhh...". So six of my friends probably listened to us loudly try to break each other's genitals, then saw the lulz unfurl when somebody caught a jizz balloon in the face. Classic.