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The worst jokes ever thread.

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thisandthatfilms
Posts: 7713 - Karma: 525
Post the worst pun and play on words jokes you can think of. I wanna get a good laugh.

Here's some from me

What do you call a broke rollerblader... cheap skate
Why is it so loud in a cemetary... too many coffins
What do you call a girl who has one leg shorter than the other... ileene



Let's hear em...

+k for a good laugh!!
Sep 9 2010 9:50AM
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IanAvery-Leaf
Posts: 9926 - Karma: 9,344
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Sep 9 2010 9:56AM
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thisandthatfilms
Posts: 7713 - Karma: 525
^BAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA
Sep 9 2010 10:01AM
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2L208
Posts: 1075 - Karma: 308
i work in a kitchen and always make stupid puns.

where's the "dill"? i have no "thyme" for this.

there are a few things i need to "clarify"

i am doing "grape"

will you do me a "flavor"

i am in a "pickle"

can i "pasta"bly get a pasta bowl

they are easier to get when you are there
Sep 9 2010 10:02AM
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madchronic
Posts: 460 - Karma: 324
why did the chicken cross the road?
Sep 9 2010 10:08AM
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thugaim
Posts: 2181 - Karma: 33
So a mushroom walks into a bar and startings hitting on a woman. She turns him down... the mushroom replies "aww cmon, I'm a fun guy."
Sep 9 2010 10:13AM
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thisandthatfilms
Posts: 7713 - Karma: 525
these are getting good, lets keep it up
Sep 9 2010 10:45AM
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rickety_cricket
Posts: 909 - Karma: 34
Heres a couple

A termite walks into a bar room and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

"Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud." "Yes sir, it's fresh ground."
What do you call a sleepwalking nun? Roamin' Catholic.

Why can't a chicken coop have more than 2 doors? Because if it had 4 doors it would be a chicken sedan.
Sep 9 2010 10:54AM
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muFFn
Posts: 1040 - Karma: 74
A man saw that there was a pun contest in his local paper. He thought himself a funny man, so he wrote down 10 puns that he thought would win the competition. However, no pun in-ten did.
Sep 9 2010 11:07AM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,270
the worst jokes ever are music jokes

i'm out chopin, i'll be bach in a minuet
Sep 9 2010 11:11AM
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PASKIINGSUCKS
Posts: 9097 - Karma: 777
Did you see the news recently.........Corduroy pillows are making headlines.



I'm a kleptomaniac, but when it gets bad I just take something for it.
Sep 9 2010 11:51AM
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thesheik
Posts: 1488 - Karma: 18
knock knock

who's there?

the broken pencil.

the broken pencil who?

never mind, it's pointless.

for anyone whose seen follow me...
Sep 9 2010 12:01PM
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mega.
Posts: 495 - Karma: 16

a baby seal walked into a club,

Sep 9 2010 1:07PM
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Potatoes
Posts: 1131 - Karma: 14
a guy walked into a bar. he said, "ouch."
Sep 9 2010 1:08PM
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RudyGarmisch
Posts: 25443 - Karma: 13,844
A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its destroying his family.
Sep 9 2010 1:33PM
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Broseph_Stalin
Posts: 3745 - Karma: 177
lol thats horrible
Sep 9 2010 1:34PM
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mega.
Posts: 495 - Karma: 16
awwww :(
Sep 9 2010 1:35PM
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Brenone
Posts: 4944 - Karma: 296
if girls with big tits work at Hooters where do girls with one leg work? IHOP.
Sep 9 2010 1:43PM
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Huck_Norris
Posts: 11487 - Karma: 18,627

A guy tells his girl to give him a "chilean miner"

She asks "What's that?"

He tells her "It's when you go to the bottom of my shaft and don't come up 'till Christmas."

It's bad, but in a different way. 

Sep 9 2010 1:52PM
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*simba*
Posts: 9125 - Karma: 511
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Wow, that's terrible and hilarious at the same time.
Sep 9 2010 1:58PM
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IanAvery-Leaf
Posts: 9926 - Karma: 9,344
I lol'd
Sep 9 2010 2:07PM
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hellomynameisjef
Posts: 5794 - Karma: 167
so this black guy dies
Sep 9 2010 2:52PM
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hellomynameisjef
Posts: 5794 - Karma: 167
hes also a feminist cross dressing cockapoo
Sep 9 2010 2:53PM
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Chickendodo
Posts: 1426 - Karma: 33
So two guys are sitting at a bar, the one guy says to the other,
"Hey, you've got a pickle in your ear." To which the other guy says "what?!", so the first guy repeats himself, "HEY, YOU'VE GOT A PICKLE IN YOUR EAR.", the second guy says "what?!", so the first guy gets really angry and yells "YOU HAVE A FUCKING PICKLE IN YOUR EAR."

So the second guy takes the pickle out of his ear and says "sorry, I couldn't hear you, I had a pickle in my ear."

and

What's brown and sticky?  A stick.
Sep 9 2010 2:58PM
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GratefulDead
Posts: 3554 - Karma: 84
Perfect start.
Sep 9 2010 2:59PM
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mega.
Posts: 495 - Karma: 16

ski patrol blew it up.

oh wait....

Sep 9 2010 3:02PM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 36687 - Karma: 110,613
A horse walks into a bar, and I think he was with a duck. He asks the bartender for a drink, Anyways I forgot the rest but your mothers a whore.
Sep 9 2010 3:02PM
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steezeeepolizeee
Posts: 8756 - Karma: 796
it couldn't, it was a woman?
Sep 9 2010 3:16PM
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maximiliaan
Posts: 7710 - Karma: 2,849
god
Sep 9 2010 3:20PM
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Mr_pretzel
Posts: 4616 - Karma: 1,289
As did I.
Sep 9 2010 3:27PM
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skithesprings
Posts: 9086 - Karma: 1,349
first one that made me laugh
Sep 9 2010 3:31PM
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kzrstf
Posts: 2778 - Karma: 695
What do you get when you cross a black guy and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure can pick a lot of cotton!
Sep 9 2010 4:12PM
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kzrstf
Posts: 2778 - Karma: 695
oh dont ban me
Sep 9 2010 4:13PM
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Heart
Posts: 6156 - Karma: 3,462
this one is AWFUL:

What does a blind, deaf, mentally retarded baby get for christmas?

Cancer.
Sep 9 2010 4:18PM
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Mooserz
Posts: 2945 - Karma: 32
ALCOHOLISM IS NOT A DISEASE!
Sep 9 2010 4:28PM
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ORDEAL
Posts: 6386 - Karma: 75
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heh
Sep 9 2010 4:33PM
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cultrara
Posts: 5147 - Karma: 46,851
Click for larger imageClick for larger imageClick for larger image
Sep 9 2010 4:35PM
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EmperorKuzco
Posts: 6660 - Karma: 254
ok so this guy has to choose to and kill one of his kids. which one does he choose?

a: the ugly one.

gotta love family guy
Sep 9 2010 4:36PM
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cultrara
Posts: 5147 - Karma: 46,851
^ wow my bad, pic posting fail
Sep 9 2010 4:36PM
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DLAM
Posts: 341 - Karma: 38
What do you call a sheep with no legs?....a cloud
Why don't Amish(sp?) people water ski?...the horse would drown

Sep 9 2010 4:42PM
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Logey.
Posts: 2996 - Karma: 457
hahahaaha i laugheddd
Sep 9 2010 4:57PM
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nickyp
Posts: 5673 - Karma: 215
I hope you wrote a Chopin Liszt...
Sep 9 2010 5:02PM
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Caucasian_Asian
Posts: 2447 - Karma: 1,665
---Custer
---the bingo caller


Knock knock?

Who's there?

I ate mop.


Sep 9 2010 5:16PM
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Black.Bird
Posts: 2566 - Karma: 684
HAHAHA this made my day
Sep 9 2010 5:18PM
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thesheik
Posts: 1488 - Karma: 18
that thing you did there?




i saw it.
Sep 9 2010 6:51PM
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little1337
Posts: 8159 - Karma: 45,773
Sep 9 2010 6:58PM
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Kellso
Posts: 452 - Karma: 11
did you hear about dave
no
he got knifed
really?
ya it was forked up
what to spoon
Sep 9 2010 6:59PM
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Get.Kronk
Posts: 2543 - Karma: 226
YOU GOT THAT FROM ME YOU FU!#@*())$*)#@Q&%)*#$)#@&)(%&#%)*&)_@&%)_@&#%)&#)(%*)#&%)#@&%)*#)%....


/rage
Sep 9 2010 7:00PM
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bkap
Posts: 446 - Karma: 23
hahah i lol'd
Sep 9 2010 7:47PM
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binturong-qwerty
Posts: 1506 - Karma: 146
whats brown and rhymes with snoop?

Dr. Dre
Sep 9 2010 7:57PM
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Dragonite
Posts: 318 - Karma: 29
how do you know an Indian was in you back yard?
Your dogs pregnant and picnic table is broken

how do you starve an indian?
hide his welfare check in his work boot

Sep 9 2010 8:05PM
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