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March, 2024

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Love sucks

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basa
Posts: 85 - Karma: 10
Ok, so I have come over to Canada for my summer holidays as I live in Australia. I have met this girl and she is like amazing, so different compared to Australian girls and we've become really attached to each other and we both admit we could spend much of our lives with each other. However I am leaving home to finish my last 9 months of school in a little over 2 weeks. I'm already arranging to come back to Canada anyways in 9 months because i love it so much here.The hardest thing about it is that I'm going to have to say good bye to her for at least 9 months. Please Newschoolers, is there anyway that I can ease the pain. Has anyone been in a similar situation? How has it worked? Helpppp meeee
Jan 24 2010 7:42PM
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neutralzombie
Posts: 8629 - Karma: 606
when i first started dating my guy, he almost left to bc for a few months at the start of the relationship. it all depends on how you both cope with it together. i think there's a benefit to the fact that you didn't meet on the internets and that you've grown together for some time. anything's possible, but you have to trust each other and be super mature about it.
Jan 25 2010 1:05PM
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zachimo
Posts: 159 - Karma: 10
Well I wouldn't say that things are "fine" because obviously it's been tough, but it is, in a way, making our relationship stronger. It certainly comes at a cost because i'm in university and i'm giving up quite a bit by having a girlfriend at all. Worth it in my opinion tho

I'm actually a fourth year at UBC in Vancouver and have nothing but great things to say about it.
I would recommend not going to vernon for school and UVIC is just a big party school. so yeah, just my input about west coast schools
Jan 25 2010 1:05PM
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Jodi
Posts: 4215 - Karma: 745
As a girl who has been in this exact situation I can say yeah....it's a consideration, and go for what your heart tells you to man, but life happens...and don't buy a ring quite yet.
Jan 25 2010 1:07PM
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VT_scratch
Posts: 8710 - Karma: 5,615
canadas the shit!
Jan 25 2010 1:09PM
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neutralzombie
Posts: 8629 - Karma: 606
you know, what you say makes a lot of sense, but at the same time, anyone could easily say, hey, we've lived in the same city and it didn't work either.
Jan 25 2010 1:09PM
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basa
Posts: 85 - Karma: 10
Ok, when u say he almost left to bc? i dont reall understand?
Yeah we met a really sweet way and we both have established we have feelings for each other. Do you think if we just became friends for 9 months it would ruin our chances of getting back together again. Shes not a slut as she has witnessed all her friends go through the drama associated with acting like that. i guess I will have to confront here and be super open about if i did come back in 9 months, would she be willing to make the relationship last. I have no problem with retaining from getting with girls and parties as my work load for school will be massive, so i guess it all depends on her.
Jan 25 2010 1:14PM
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yojimbo
Posts: 3631 - Karma: 27
you need a new sarcasm meter
Jan 25 2010 1:16PM
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basa
Posts: 85 - Karma: 10
Yeah, my hearts telling me to make this happen so bad, i can't imagine myself living my life and knwing this girl is out there. But i guess if i confront her, and let her decide if we do have a future or not, i will respect her answer. If she says there is a strong opportunity of us being together in the future then i guess i'll be ultra happy and do what ever i can to keep things together. If she says that it will definitely won't work i guess i'll ski off a cliff, try to stay just friends and move on, i honestly believe it would be easier going with the first step.
Jan 25 2010 1:19PM
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basa
Posts: 85 - Karma: 10
I have no trouble giving up one night stands for this girl, she is so much more important then a one of thing with someone i dont have any feelings for. Ok, that sounds awesome. Why would you not recommend kelowna? I love the place but is the campus not that great. Ok so if UVIC is party school, and she goes there does that mean its pretty much over? it isnt that bad is it?
thanks heaps
Jan 25 2010 1:23PM
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jibjohnson15
Posts: 67 - Karma: 10
 i really like a girl similar to your situation over the summer and went away to a traveling school i go to for kayaking came back and it was over. shit never works out.
Jan 25 2010 1:25PM
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neutralzombie
Posts: 8629 - Karma: 606
it really depends on both of you. my boyfriend was originally supposed to move to vancouver for like 4 months or something when we started dating two years ago. he was supposed to leave a few months after we made the relationship official, but he never went and i have my suspicions why. anyways.

i think the person to talk to is her. if you're both strong people it could work. i really don't think you need to worry about cheating and stuff. i honestly don't know why you're freaking if your goal is to move back to her in 9 months. i mean there's so many variables in these situations that anything is possible. if you want to try it you should because you could spend the rest of your life thinking about her, or you could spend the rest of your life thinking about what a waste of time she was. if both of your friends are supportive of the situation it helps a lot too. there's always a point where people freak out and bad things happen but you just gotta remember the goal. and if it's worth it to you, then it's worth it. you're going to do whatever you want no matter what people are going to say here, so you might as well stay with her because it's what you want. chances are if she digs you too, she might never do anything with anyone until you get back. couples do it a lot, and its tough and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt. living in the same city is the same thing, just because you're neighbors, doesn't mean it's going to last. love and relationships in general is about taking a chance.
Jan 25 2010 1:26PM
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basa
Posts: 85 - Karma: 10
I want to move back because i love it here. But now i mainly want to move back here because of her. I don't want to make the commitment and then she says i dont think it can work. She really wants to come to Australia for a holiday so maybe thats another option. The only problem is, i dont know whether to apply for university here in Canada or to just get a work VISA. I guess the next time i see her it will reveal it all. I just hope she is feeling the same way about me and if she does then i think the 9 month period will be nothing more then a slight delay in a great long lasting relationship.
Jan 25 2010 1:35PM
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Larz-the-Ninja
Posts: 2976 - Karma: 14
I see what you did thar
Jan 25 2010 1:36PM
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zachimo
Posts: 159 - Karma: 10
Yeah it's not that Kelowna is a dull city, because it's not. I would just say that UBC Okanagan and UNBC are inferior schools compared to UBC Vancouver.
And in terms of maintaining your relationship at UVIC, I can't be of much help because I don't go there so i really don't understand the dynamic there. I've just heard it's a 'party school' and judging by my friends that study there. Yeah I can attest that it seems that way
Jan 25 2010 1:39PM
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I_Am_Mod
Posts: 13214 - Karma: 3,753
same here dude; my girl is switching college and is moving to another city; don't really know what to do next....
Jan 25 2010 1:40PM
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JeffNH
Posts: 70 - Karma: 10
+k for you sir. I LOLd
Jan 25 2010 1:41PM
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Chickendodo
Posts: 1426 - Karma: 33
Fuck long distance relationships, I'm in a year and a half, and I'm only 5 hours away from my girlfriend, and its still terrible, I see her every 3 weeks too.  Some girls are bad at life, if she's a clinger/needy, do NOT do the long distance thing, it might SEEM like a plus, cause she'd never cheat on you and shit, but the negatives farrrr outweigh the positives. 

It's a lot of work for both of you.
Jan 25 2010 1:48PM
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basa
Posts: 85 - Karma: 10
Ok, well i pretty much not really worried about where in Canada I go as it is all a new experience to me. UVIC doesn't really offer any courses I want. I guess the perfect scenario would be if she either went to UBC okanagan or UBC vancouver. OR she came to Australia. She really want to come to Australia and if she did that way would i could study to be veterinarian as well as have the girl of my dreams. Ahhhh the more I talk about this the harder and harder it seems but who knows what can happen.
Jan 25 2010 1:48PM
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PASKIINGSUCKS
Posts: 9097 - Karma: 777
but on a more important note.....................Do you have pictures of said kayaking trip????????????
Jan 25 2010 1:53PM
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HenniferLopez
Posts: 1319 - Karma: 136
Wow this is great timing for what I'm experiencing right now.

This morning my boyfriend moved to Seattle. We've been dating for a year and its been the best year of my life. I few months ago he was second guessing leaving, but I told him it was for the best. We're both not ready to settle down, and if we take this break it will only make us stronger.

Now that it's actually happened, it makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about the fact that he's not here anymore. As my dad said on the phone to me a bit ago, "the only thing that can mend the pain is time."

My dad's right. Give it some time. Keep in touch, but I wouldn't suggest a long distance relationship. it seems like the odds of it ending badly are higher with the long distance thing. If you keep it open, you have a chance to discover what you really want and if she's actually the girl for you. Good luck.
Jan 25 2010 1:54PM
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basa
Posts: 85 - Karma: 10
How long is he moving to Seattle for? Yeah im just going to give it time. I'm not oging to have a full on long distance relationship because that would be unfair to her unless she absolutely wanted it. She has had many serious boy friends and she said I am completely different to the rest of them. I will keep it jsut as friends but keep an open relationship, that way when i do come back i can just ask for us to catch up and we will see where it goes from there, the whole getting all the VISA's and the international application for university makes it very hard.
Jan 25 2010 2:13PM
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HenniferLopez
Posts: 1319 - Karma: 136
he moved there for good..he graduated at semester so its time to go out into the real world. I still have two more years of school...and I'd like to go out there afterwards..but a lot can happen in two years...

If its meant to happen, it will. As cliche as it sounds, follow your heart. The visas and shit sounds like a pain in the ass, but I'm sure it can be worked through.
Jan 25 2010 2:36PM
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basa
Posts: 85 - Karma: 10
oh thats a real downer, i hope you can work something out because i can honestly say i know how you feel. 2 years can be along time but i totally agree, if its meant to happen it will. The VISA's are a massive pain in the ass but I guess it all is worth it in the long run, if she could come to Australia which she really wants to do it would be complete. I was thinking of just working in Canada and hopefully being able to reunite with her. The only thing i can do is just talk to her one on one, and ask if she will ever want to see me again after i go. I know we will keep in touch but it depends on what she truly wants. I don't think 9 months is a great deal of time, these days it goes by just like that. So hopefully before I know it I will be on a plane back to Canada.

Jan 25 2010 2:49PM
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H8CH
Posts: 2709 - Karma: 218

This was your first mistake..... 

But seriously, good luck and remember 9 months isn't that long....

on a side note: you could always get her up the duff before you leave, then when you come back... woila...  bouncing baby to keep you together forever...

Just a thought.

Jan 25 2010 3:03PM
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Jodi
Posts: 4215 - Karma: 745
this.
Jan 25 2010 4:14PM
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PASKIINGSUCKS
Posts: 9097 - Karma: 777
With all this rain I loaded mine in the back of the truck yesterday, but alas I could find no partners in crime.
Jan 26 2010 11:35AM
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Gorilla.Steeze
Posts: 2215 - Karma: 43
siihb
Jan 26 2010 11:38AM
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funkyskunk
Posts: 46 - Karma: 11
love doctor NS!
Jan 26 2010 12:44PM
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slimbruddah
Posts: 2611 - Karma: 25
gotta give props to all folks dishin knowledge to their kids.

but for this long distance thing, if youre both real, patience shouldnt be hard to find.
Jan 26 2010 1:24PM
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Thenowhereman42
Posts: 5682 - Karma: 65
Whatever you do don't try to long distance relationship it. Put the relationship on hold, and see about getting it back on later down the road when you get back.

Just saying that because she WILL sleep with someone else, and if you are in a weird long distance relationship then its just going to get all shitty and out of control. But if you go separate ways for 9 months, it doesn't matter what either of you do.
Jan 26 2010 5:21PM
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geteducated
Posts: 6410 - Karma: 86
wtf is it with australians having to come to canada to find a girl.

go find a nice bogan and spend the rest of your life in aus where you belong.
Jan 26 2010 5:25PM
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Gnarshred
Posts: 5670 - Karma: 18
im in the middle of a similar situation. all i gotta say is it sucks...
Jan 26 2010 7:06PM
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future-spins
Posts: 395 - Karma: 900
chicks are bitches
Jan 26 2010 7:25PM
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gstaff
Posts: 1017 - Karma: 12
long distance relationships = shitty
Jan 26 2010 7:27PM
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basa
Posts: 85 - Karma: 10
Thanks everyone for your input. I've kinda toughened up and realized that yeah, it may be 9 months at least!! until i can see this girl again. And even if I do the chances of getting and staying wit her may not be the greatest but I think it will all end up fine. Even if we just stay friends I'm sure over the years we will see each ever now and then and if its meant to be its meant to be, im just going to live in the moment YEEEWWW.
Jan 26 2010 10:35PM
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