Not my story but this was posted on www.surfingbeans.com. Anyone who rides bmx and goes on The Come Up should check out this site. It has some pretty crazy and hilarious stories. This is from bmx legend Kelly Baker:
Years ago I was seeing a chick. She was super hot, was always up for getting down but was super dumb. At the same time I had this kick ass little cat. He was such a great little animal. Everyone loved him. He was so smart and he would play all the time. For some reason he hated this chick I was seeing. We would sitting on the couch and he would run up on her hissing and scratching at her quite often. One night we were sitting watching a movie. This little dude jumped up on her lap and started to chill. We thought that he finally was getting used to her. The little shit turned his ass to her and shit a turd right out on her lap. I cleaned it up and apologized many times saying that I didn’t know what is up with him.
One night dumb hot chick and I got busy and fell asleep in my bed. We woke up in the morning and I turned to her to give her a good morning kiss. She had shit all over her face, smashed in her hair and packed in her ear. The little fucker shit on her pillow and she rolled her head in it all night long. Needless to say she was very pissed. Once again I told her sorry many times and I yelled at the little fucker. Didn’t matter, she had enough and stormed out the door after wiping some of it off. A couple days later my dick and gens itched so fucking bad. I got looking and the dirty bitch gave me crabs. I was mortified and pissed. It made me think that my awesome little cat knew she was a dirty bitch right from the start. After shaving all my hair and doing tons of laundry I bought some sardines and gave them to my little buddy. As he ate them I apologized to him for being pissed and told him I was sorry for doubting him. I miss that little dude.