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Funiest thing a stranger has said to you

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meth_time
Posts: 2783 - Karma: 21
(an old dude with a rainbow sweater and gray hair, at red mountain. A skiier in a wheelchair like thing with one ski on the bottom skis by, she looks like shes like 15 or somthing)

old guy: hey

me:hey

old guy: you see that chick ski by in the chair?

me: ya

old guy: thats one hot piece of ass

me: ya?

old guy: ya when she starts to go fast... im telling you, one hot piece of ass.

(at a rave, some guy walks up to me and my friend, i thought my friend knew him, he was like 20 somthing)

random guy: hey

us: hey

random guy: whats up?

me: not much

random guy: so whos going to be tapping a 19 year old tonight?

my friend: what?

random guy: there so messed up they wont even notice, trust me its cool.

random guy: trust me, your fucked, and your fucked, but they are more fucked.


(on a fairy boat)

my brother: (gets a napkin stuck in a waterbottle)
my brother: ohhh you got the napkin stuck in there
my brother again: thats what she said

some guy across the fairy: that is what she said


(halloween. after dropping off our passed out friend at another friends house, and walking down to panagos, carrying skis, boots, backpacks, and pillowcases filled with candy and liqour.
A caveman walks up to us with a box of pizza, and his girlfriend has dreads and kinda looks like amy whinehouse)

caveman: how do you get to the hound hotel?

us: i dont think there is a hound hotel

caveman: ya there is my friend told me to go there.
(hes standing infront of the hume hotel or somthing like that)

my friend: can i have some pizza?

caveman: no youve had enough
caveman: he needs some, skinnny bastard

(gives pizza to my skinny friend)

so we start walking away, and hes following us.

caveman: im not an aggressive person but im not afraid to be.

us: what?

caveman: your taking me to the hound hotel right?

then a bunch of chicks dressed as spartans walked by, he grabbed there swords and they beat him up.


anyone else?

Jan 12 2010 7:27PM
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*valkyrie*
Posts: 229 - Karma: 51

I'm in the hallway at school and some older guy says to me: "It's refreshing to see a natural blonde around here, I bet you're quite a Shiba"

In the meat department of the gorcery store doing a survey for a meat class.  I'm explaining to him that for the class I have to butcher frozen carcasses the he says: "Do you ever think about cutting your boyfriend's dick off in the middle of the night?"

More strange than funny

Jan 13 2010 2:11AM
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Da_Buddha
Posts: 802 - Karma: 1,182
last summer i took a train to a tennis camp. this train ended up being 12 hrs one way, so my balls got busted pretty badly. anyway i was sitting across from a very strange character, greasy hair, weird clothes, everyone knows what im talking about when i say he was a weird fucking dude. so for the first half of the train ride (6hrs) i have been looking out the window, listening to my music, reading and watching some ski vids from my ipod. i notice that this guy across from me had stopped whatever the fuck he was doing and was looking at me, as if he had something to say. So i pause Enjoy on my ipod, take out my headphones and embrace myself for what this dude is about to say. There was nothing i could do to prepare, he looks me in the eye and says,

creep- "Would you rather be pissed off, or pissed on"
Me- "excuse me?"
creep - "I said, would you rather be pissed on, or pissed off?"
Me- "um... pissed off"
creep- "No, think about it"
Me- "uhh....(pause).......Pissed off?"
creep-"tsk tsk...someday you'll learn kid"

and from there he looked back down at his book and continued reading for the other 6 hrs of trip. confused as fuck i put my headphones back in resumed watching Enjoy, while trying to figure out what the hell just happened. made for a pretty damn good story though.


Jan 13 2010 2:15AM
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lineskier10
Posts: 11339 - Karma: 796
this didnt happen to me but to a friend who stares at people a lot without knowing, so one day he is staring at this bum and the dude just looks up at him with crazy eyes and yells "YOU WILL BE PUNISHED" and then just looks away
Jan 13 2010 2:18AM
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GANDALF
Posts: 6285 - Karma: 6,433
my threads for more laughs
Jan 13 2010 2:51AM
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Campeador
Posts: 7516 - Karma: -1,227
Wearing a zip up sweatshirt partly zipped up walking down the street with my friend after drinking.


Some drunk asians to my friend: you're fat!

friend: what the fuck are you talking about (rugby player, stocky not fat)

asian: why don't you go eat some donuts
asian 2: or mcdonalds (laughs at his wit)

friend: hey man, I don't know you, don't know what the fuck your problem is. Anyway, I may be fat but I can lose weight. You're asian, that shit is permanent.
Jan 13 2010 5:31AM
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Campeador
Posts: 7516 - Karma: -1,227
ha shit, my first one disappeared for some reason. drunk bitch thought my sweatshirt was a cardigan.

Drunk fat bitch: nice cardigan fag!

me: nice love handles babe
Jan 13 2010 5:34AM
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Thenowhereman42
Posts: 5682 - Karma: 65
The other day in line at the supermarket I was buying flowers for my girl and some guy said

"Is your girlfriend pissed off at you? You should buy her chocolate. Like that Lidnt shit over there, the good stuff, works every time. You should listen to me, I've been married twice."







"....I've also been divorced twice though, so maybe you shouldn't"
Jan 13 2010 6:01AM
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