It was a Wednesday night in Cape Elizabeth Maine, cold, snowing. I was at a party when my parents called me. Normally it would be about some bullshit, but instead it was my lucky night. "We are leaving on December 31 for ten days" was music to my ears. I hung up the phone and realized the ten most ridiculous days of my life were about to happen and my sister (age. 23) and I (age. 18) were going to have our house all to ourselves. A constant open house for ten days. Right away I knew I needed to share this experience with a couple good fellows. After my million dollar deal on my Iphone I touched messages and then shot a text to the contact Sean. Sean was down. Like always, no doubt real warrior. And who better to bring then "Young D", Dean himself.
A few days later..(Dec. 31st. New Years Day)
Drinking up with 207 waiting for 617 to knock down the front door. Finally Sean and Dean arrive. They settle into my house, the place they're calling home for a couple nights. It's New Years night so right away the bottles start crackin' and ruit begins. Eight guys playing some ruit and billiards trying to figure out the night to come. It was 10.00 p.m. and we make a quick decision to leave mi casa for about an hour to another party. Party there for an hour or so. Come back at 11:00 - 11:30 and my sister would be back from the bars with a bunch of kids. But how was this possible when all of us were drunk. No one wants to be that Designated Drunk Driver. With a couple calls and some connections, a bunch of girls are on there way to pick us up. Two trips were going to have to be made. First trip only two seats are available. A couple of guys snag it while Dean cracks one open as we chill at my house waiting for that second trip. Girls come back and want $10.00, bullshit. I grab the funnel and hand it to Sean, we're staying at my house. The night begins. Ruit game have been won and lost. Two thirty racks later my sister shows up with a bunch of kids... A bunch of kids... I knew young blackout was going to be the case, so strapped up my Gopro, pressed record, grabbed the Patron and went full force.
9:30 a.m. (Jan. 1st)
I wake up with my head pounding like no other. Roll out of bed to grab some execedrin from the bathroom. With my vision a blur, I was second guessing that there were 4 guys passed out scattered through out my room. No homo. But once I rubbed the sleep from my eye, I realized that it was the truth. I was soon to find 8-9 other people scattered in various areas through out my house, all passed out looking like young death. I started to clean which started commotion. Everyone through out the house started to gather in my kitchen as I whipped up some eggs. BAM. We all recollected on what happened that night as Dean grabbed the Roor and Sean grabbed the trees. White Walled No Doubt. I see my sister break from the pack of kids in the kitchen and watch her as she heads to the garage. As I am sitting in my kitchen my view consists of 15 kids looking like straight hell. My sister walks backs in with two bottles of champagne. Morning Mimosa start up. There is talk about hitting up a rail in my backyard, but not yet, to fucked up, getting more fucked up. A couple hours and 7 champagne bottles later we jibset. Rail murdered...
Trying to re-cooperate before another ridiculous night, a word of strippers is being tossed around.
Arrival time 9:30 so we had to jump back on the horse. Shots of Gordons for now, Patron kicked our wallets. Chillin at my mac book I decide to make a "Stripper" playlist. starting it off with Work It - Missy Elliot. I sync my Iphone and head down stairs. Arena style set up with a large L shaped couch and various chairs set up around to make the other L of a square. By now there are 50 kids chillin all clowning out. The strippers arrive so I go to greet them at the front door. As they're getting ready I run down stars and let everyone know they're here and getting ready. Roars from the arena. As I can here them walking down the stairs to our basement, Missy E kicks it off. There are two strippers that walk into the arena. My sister lied and said it was my birthday. So in I go with them. They lower my pants as I am lying doggy style on the floor and bring out that leather belt. Seven slashes to my ass. I was so fucked up I just started laughing because it was so ridiculous. Then the paper starts flying. Dolla Dolla Bills. Soon they were both ass naked giving lap dances like no other. A couple other guys get slayed with the belt. Some girls. All madness. Me and Pillsbury sitting infront of the fire. Kicked the Gordons bottle real quick. Then they grab me and throw me on the floor. Put a dollar bill on my face. And the stripper picks it up off my face with her ass. At this point you know you have to be young black out for this to be anywhere close to all set. Fortunately. I was. An hour later of the most hilarious time of my life. Half time was called. No doubt that gives Sean enough time to find that Franzia box wine and a funnel. So we got strippers preparing for the second half and Crooks funneling Franzia. I hit blackout stage and just remember a few snapshots in my mind of the strippers 69 on my floor and fucking each other wild with a 12 inch Dildo.
9:00 a.m. Jan 2.
Wake up, Seans out on the floor, Dean's passed out in the rents room. We gather some trees. Light up. And say are fell wells. 617 came, slayed. True life "I'm fucked up for 48 hours"