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Intervention Help

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[tightpants]
Posts: 1529 - Karma: 17
My friends and I decided we are going to have an intervention with my roommate tomorrow.  I don't even want to talk about all the drugs he's addicted to.  Just know that its worse than a lot of the shit you see on that tv show. 

Does anyone have experience with this kind of a thing?  Any advice / encouragement / etc. would be really appreciated its been a difficult and emotional year leading up to all this.
Dec 2 2009 4:52AM
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Eric_D
Posts: 1562 - Karma: 79
im sure youve been told before but its not gonna work unless that person wants it to work
Dec 2 2009 5:00AM
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[tightpants]
Posts: 1529 - Karma: 17
I know. Its obviously not the first time we've confronted him about it... so we haven't had much luck in the past.  We're just gonna try it hardcore intervention style tomorrow and really lay down the law.  If it doesn't work though the plan is to go to his parents and have them send him to rehab over christmas break because its almost certainly going to take some professional help he's in pretty deep.  But we're going to give him an opportunity to try and get clean without doing it the hard way.
Dec 2 2009 5:09AM
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Eric_D
Posts: 1562 - Karma: 79
yea well i hope the intervention works. these kinds of things are very unfortunate in life. goooood luck.
Dec 2 2009 5:10AM
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unchyll
Posts: 4554 - Karma: 96
just smoke him out... it will be chill
Dec 2 2009 5:12AM
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Static
Posts: 8491 - Karma: 4,058
How bad is it? at least give us a run down on what he's using and how often, how it's effecting his life... Do you have a rehab place set up for him to go to? Or are you expecting him to just stop using? What are you threatening to do other than tell his parents if he doesn't stop?
Dec 2 2009 5:17AM
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vincepru
Posts: 5474 - Karma: 17
its very unlikely that he is going to make it through going cold turkey without some serious help. you know how painful that is? its not gonna work unless he goes somewhere where they will take care of him accordingly.
Dec 2 2009 5:33AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51260 - Karma: 157,386
Yeah. He needs to want it for sure.


But seriously don't be stupid. Think it through before you do anything like this. If you dont know what your doing you could make the problem worse.


Some parents have tried to send there kids to rehab for smoking green, or drinking a little bit.

You need to make sure it's absolutely necessary.

For instance, somebody who is completely straight might think someone who smokes nugs, drinks and trips needs an intervention when they might be fine.

Just because they don't make the same choices as you does not mean there in horrible trouble.

Interventions are for peoples who's lives are destroyed from their problem, not just because they use drugs or drink.

Idk, you didnt explain the situation at all.

It doesn't seem like a good idea to me though
Dec 2 2009 5:37AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51260 - Karma: 157,386
And yeah, everyone on newschoolers has plenty of intervention experience.


Dec 2 2009 5:38AM
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[tightpants]
Posts: 1529 - Karma: 17
I'm going to call it a cornucopia of hard drugs (including some reaaaal bad shit lately).  Every day.  Its ruining his life.  When he isn't in the act of doing drugs he's feening for them, lying about his use of them, scamming money off his friends to get them, or just acting like an asshole in general.  We don't have a rehab place lined up.  We're going to try to completely cut him off.  Do we need to threaten anything else?  If his parents know about it they'll take care of it and get him the help he needs.  Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think an intervention should be about threats.
Dec 2 2009 5:44AM
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vincepru
Posts: 5474 - Karma: 17
i have.
Dec 2 2009 5:44AM
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[tightpants]
Posts: 1529 - Karma: 17
He's smoking fucking crack you inconsiderate prick.  I'm not some straight-edge douche trying to have an intervention over weed.  No reason to flame me like that I know what the fuck I'm talking about.
Dec 2 2009 5:49AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51260 - Karma: 157,386
Take an anger management course while your at it. Jeez, you have some issues yourself bro.

Did I ever say that that's what you thought he was doing? You ask for newschoolers advice, you post absolutely nothing about the problem.

I was just trying to let you  know that you need to think shit through before you attempt something like this. Even with good intentions it can be bad.


But of course just freak out on people. Your friend is probably cooler than you.

And maybe next time seek professional advise instead of a thread on newschoolers.

I didn't insult you in anyway, and you completely freaked out. So have fun asshole
Dec 2 2009 5:56AM
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[tightpants]
Posts: 1529 - Karma: 17
Alright that was too harsh, and I'm sorry for blowing up.  But I'm just really emotional right now.  You're right I didn't explain it enough.  He's smoking fucking crack.  And doing other hard drugs.  Every day.  NO JOKE.  I WAS SPEAKING LITERALLY.  Do you understand why I was frustrated at your first post??  You have no idea how stressful this has been on me, seeing one of my best friends ruin his life.  I'm scared and depressed and angry all at the same time, and I don't really know what to do.  I don't know who to talk to.  That's why I made this thread.
Dec 2 2009 6:16AM
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[tightpants]
Posts: 1529 - Karma: 17
Sorry for the double post.  My friends and I have thought this through, and talked about it every day for a week now.  But we're all completely new to this and could use some guidance.  And please, don't call me bro.
Dec 2 2009 6:21AM
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Bob_Loblaw
Posts: 8384 - Karma: 38
Interventions and confrontations can work, but usually don't. All you can do is lay out all your feelings and thoughts on what he's doing to himself. You have to make a serious effort to not enable him to use, so lock up all your valuables so he can't steal them. Addiction is a fucked up thing, and an addict is not the same person as before. If he doesn't want to quit, he won't. If that's the case, you have to separate yourself from him because he'll bring you down too. If you tell his parents, don't go into detail. Say he's into some bad drugs and needs help, that's it. However you have to know that it's not your responsibility and not on you to get him to quit. All you can do is tell him your opinions. If his in deep, he'll blow you off and you might need to kick him out. Once it's in the open like that, he'll change his personality towards you pretty quickly. Living with an addict sucks, I know from experience. You gotta separate yourself from the situation.
Dec 2 2009 6:29AM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
Jesus, sometimes people come for some legit advice and in a subject like this I can see why OP wouldn't want to post all the details cause of how personal it is. Get over yourself for fucksakes.
Dec 2 2009 6:43AM
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LadySaGa
Posts: 774 - Karma: 81
yer cute when yer angry
Dec 2 2009 6:45AM
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[tightpants]
Posts: 1529 - Karma: 17
Thank god someone is taking this seriously.  That's great advice I really appreciate it.  I don't want to live with him when he's like this and neither does my other roommate.  He's already brought us both down enough. 

The possibility of us kicking him out (although I would really hate to do it) is very real and I think he'll probably respond in a positive way if we bring it up.  So I guess I take back what I said earlier, a threat other than going to his parents could be beneficial.  Thanks a lot for this you're really helping me out.
Dec 2 2009 6:46AM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
Kicking him out may sound good but if he is really REALLY addicted the way you are saying he would end up on the street/living with other users and that would be even worse. But then again, I don't have any experience in this so don't take what I say for fact.
Dec 2 2009 6:48AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51260 - Karma: 157,386
Good Was that really that hard to figure out though? You said he's addicted to crack, and he steals from you all the time.

And if you had an intervention with him, and it went poorly, were you seriously going to continue rooming with him.

But good luck bro
Dec 2 2009 6:49AM
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[tightpants]
Posts: 1529 - Karma: 17
Thanks for backing me. I'm really glad to see that someone else thinks I wasn't totally off-base.  I was going to post this in LM to avoid ignorant little bitches sending flak my way but I thought since it was such a serious topic that wouldn't happen.  Next time I'll know better.
Dec 2 2009 6:52AM
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Bob_Loblaw
Posts: 8384 - Karma: 38
That's not on him though. The kid is making his own choices. You can't feel a personal responsibility to guide someone through life, otherwise you're just setting yourself up to get hurt. You have to hit rock bottom before you want to get better. Sometimes tough love is the only way to get through to someone.
Dec 2 2009 6:55AM
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[tightpants]
Posts: 1529 - Karma: 17
I'm sure his parents would take him in... I definitely wouldn't send my friend to live in a worse situation than now just for my benefit.  I'm doing this because I care about him and I want to see him get better.
Dec 2 2009 6:56AM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
From the sounds of it he is really close to this friend, like almost at the stage of brothers. I understand what you are saying but at the same time friends are actually closer than friends and are almost family.
Dec 2 2009 6:59AM
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[tightpants]
Posts: 1529 - Karma: 17
What part of "don't call me bro" didn't you understand?  Are you stupid?  That was a rhetorical question.  Do you know what that means?
Dec 2 2009 7:00AM
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Bob_Loblaw
Posts: 8384 - Karma: 38
If you put up with that behavior and don't take a stand you are only enabling him to keep using. You have to lay down the law when it comes to this shit. Like I said, an addict is not the same person they were before. Addiction is a fucked up thing that changes someone. They look for any excuse or justification to keep doing their drugs. You have to be firm and strong to send a message to them. Sometimes the message has to be heavy in order to get through to them. I've had friends addicted to heroin/oxy's/coke before. If you don't take a strong stand against it, in their mind they think what they're doing is ok. Of course you don't want to drive them to live in a crack house, but you also can't stop them if that's where they're heading.
Dec 2 2009 7:07AM
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[tightpants]
Posts: 1529 - Karma: 17
You're right he is like a brother to me.  And that's part of the reason why this is so difficult.  If I didn't care about him it would be really easy to get rid of him and put an end to my problems and move on.  But even though I'm not responsible for guiding him through life, I am responsible for being a good friend and supporting him during the lowest time of his life.
Dec 2 2009 7:08AM
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Dick_Buttkiss
Posts: 302 - Karma: 16

Dec 2 2009 7:14AM
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[tightpants]
Posts: 1529 - Karma: 17
We are planning on laying down the law and being firm about it.  Its going to be tough though because right now he values opiates and crack more than he values any of his friendships, so we don't exactly have a lot of leverage. I think if we discuss how we're going to have to kick him out and/or go to his parents if he doesn't stop immediately it would be a good start though.  But I couldn't let him go to live in a crack house.  I could say "why don't you live in a crack house", but I don't think I could sit by and watch it happen. 
Dec 2 2009 7:19AM
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[tightpants]
Posts: 1529 - Karma: 17
Dust-off is something my friend enjoys too, actually.  Fucked up.
Dec 2 2009 7:21AM
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LMPJibbin
Posts: 1607 - Karma: 17
idk why i but i laughed.....just a little
Dec 2 2009 8:25AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51260 - Karma: 157,386
You said you had been talking about it for a few days. You def should plan it out a little bit be for you do anything like this.

It's serious business and you don't want to mess it up.


Hard drugs aren't easy to kick
Dec 2 2009 8:37AM
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[tightpants]
Posts: 1529 - Karma: 17
Cool man. Thanks for the input.
Dec 2 2009 4:29PM
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the.hellion.
Posts: 861 - Karma: 698
 I have no experience with interventions. However, my feeling is if you're friend is this far gone you giving him tough love will not help. Addictions are not just physical things, they won't go away just because you remove the means to continue them. There are deep psychological issues that get entrenched with using. This is why an environment such as a rehab centre, has a higher rate of being effective than going cold turkey. It has the resources to deal with the physical effects of withdrawal and the emotional issues that developed into the addiction in the first place. That is the only way, I think, anyone can actually kick it. And, I think it will take longer than Christmas Break to do it. It takes a long time to alter the way your brain and body deal with emotions. I think that if he's so far gone that you think he will hurt himself, get himself into very unsafe situations or ditch you for the crack house, you need to get his parents involved. They are the only ones with the capital and responsibility to make sure he has a fighting chance. Good luck though.
Dec 2 2009 4:56PM
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thelittlebiggs
Posts: 173 - Karma: 10
If you're actually serious about helping him, I would get someone older and more experienced with this for help. It then will probably be more helpful in the long run.
Dec 2 2009 6:45PM
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[tightpants]
Posts: 1529 - Karma: 17
We'll we sat him down today have our talk and it went pretty well.  Thanks everyone for the advice^.  He seemed pretty receptive so we're going to see how it plays out and then go to his parents if necessary. 
Dec 4 2009 3:06AM
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[tightpants]
Posts: 1529 - Karma: 17
Sorry for the double post but by "see how it plays out" I really mean watch him like a hawk and if he slips at all, take action.  But at the same time try to be a caring and supportive friend.  I don't have my hopes up... but I think it was right to give him a chance to try and take responsibility for his life and rectify the situation on his own.  I agree that it is probably going to take professional help in a rehab environment though. 
Dec 4 2009 3:11AM
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PaleCelery
Posts: 7228 - Karma: 608
Maybe involve a school counselor or hire one, it might be beneficial, they have experience with this sort of thing, and you dont.

I'm not saying it wont work if you dont do this, but it might help.

You just have to make it worse for him to continue using than the pain of quitting. But really, he needs to hit rock bottom and want it himself if it really has much of a chance to work at all. I hope for the best with you and your room mate, I've never experienced this, and I'm sure it is hard to deal with. Sometimes you have to make hard decisions, and if he is bringing you down you have to be willing to cut ties, and so does everybody else, no matter how hard it is. You are giving him the chance to redeem himself.

He has to make the decision though, what is more important, the drugs or his life/relationships.
Dec 4 2009 3:18AM
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Tinga
Posts: 11349 - Karma: 2,333
why not just skip the middle man and tell his parents now?
Dec 4 2009 3:21AM
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0123456789
Posts: 9226 - Karma: 148
seriously, his parents care more about him than you ever will, no disrespect, and they would most likely want to know that their son is taking life threatening drugs daily, adn want to help.
Dec 4 2009 3:38AM
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derbski
Posts: 3173 - Karma: 62
I feel horrible every time i laugh my ass off at the end of that video

To the OP, there are tons of places on campus, tons of hotlines, all sorts of resources for dealing with your predicament.
Dec 4 2009 4:30AM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
You aren't alone.

And all I can think about when she says "I'm walking on sunshine" is that episode of Futurama where they find Fry's old dog.
Dec 4 2009 4:33AM
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vincepru
Posts: 5474 - Karma: 17
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


holy fuck i literally just almost pissed, and i woke up my mom and my sister. hahaha
Dec 4 2009 5:30AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51260 - Karma: 157,386
what is that whip cream, rush?
Dec 4 2009 6:54AM
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General_Ripper
Posts: 3327 - Karma: 189
pretend to trip with him (hes trippin your not) and start talkin to him about it. This kinda sounds stupid but when ever I trip I have always had a moment where I'm like "what the fuck am I doing with my life." If someone was there to agree with me that im a waste It would most likely be a terrible trip but after I would most likely sober me up for at least a little while. But if hes doing oxys hes fucked and you have no chance.........
Dec 4 2009 7:34AM
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General_Ripper
Posts: 3327 - Karma: 189
wow I need to sleep
Dec 4 2009 7:35AM
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Big5hifty
Posts: 3243 - Karma: 1,255
Click for larger image

but seriously that sucks man good luck.
Dec 4 2009 10:57AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51260 - Karma: 157,386
That's why I guessed him what he was doing. So many times people try to "save" their friends from tripping. Because it's a hard drug and their obviously ruining there lives if they do it.

But if really is smoking crack like the dude said, that's a big deal. Def going for help is key. Handling the intervention on your own might not be the best route
Dec 4 2009 2:02PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51260 - Karma: 157,386
Hahaha, you'll just hate on anything I've posted now. That's cool i don't care.

You don't mention anything to anyone else but you just find all my posts and talk shit, without ever pointing anything out. Maturity.

As for interventions, I have seen parents heard parents try to sen there kids to rehab for smoking.

I know people who think their roomies need help because they trip once in a while. but of course just keep talking shit man, your cool
Dec 4 2009 2:10PM
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factory81
Posts: 3967 - Karma: 63
"Man the meth/coke has got to go, you have to switch to pharmaceutical grade prescription uppers, think of your future"

"The h ain't goin cut it, you need to methadone and ween you self off, and smoke high grade nugs."

"and the e man, you don't wanna turn in to an e-tard do you? just take mushrooms only from now on...like  a couple times a year, yeah like count on one hand thats how many times"


Do this all while smoking weed out of a vaporizer, remember you are promoting safe usage of drugs.


Dec 4 2009 2:11PM
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