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Dean of Students

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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
Ok, I have a meeting with someone from the Dean of Students today about some problems I am having. Basically, I have had a ton of family members die in my lifetime and I just had 3 plus a friend from high school die in the span of two months and it is starting to affect me here at school. What can I expect from this talk today?
Nov 12 2009 11:29AM
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BC.
Posts: 1551 - Karma: 86
In no disrespectful manner, maybe he will suggest Therapy? Losing that many people close to you might affect you physiologically.
Nov 12 2009 11:31AM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
I figure that but I am curious what he will tell me in order so I can get through this quarter and stay in college. I know therapy of some sort will come up cause I have been told to go see the Counseling Center on campus and I go to make an appointment and they are booked for 2 weeks and tell me to come in at walk in time. Problem is, walk in time starts at the same time one of my classes start at and I get there after and would have to wait 3 hrs to get in and have a talk.
Nov 12 2009 11:33AM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
Basically, I am wondering if anyone else has been through something of a similar situation and has actually had to talk to someone from the Dean of Students?
Nov 12 2009 11:46AM
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el_chupacabra
Posts: 639 - Karma: 14
In my experience it will mostly be based on what you have to say. I'm not really sure of the details of your situation, but most likely if you are meeting with them, it is because you initiated it and have recognized your problem. Unless you go to a small school, I have rarely found that the dean of students comes and talks to me because they are worried that I might have issues.

That being said, I highly recommend you ask about what therapy options are available. I've dealt with depression and anxiety issues since my junior year in high school and therapy has made a huge difference. I'm not sure exactly what problems you may be dealing with, but I have found that talking with a counselor or psychiatrist about it is very helpful. Even if your situation doesn't require medication or regular therapy, it is important to at least hear some suggestions of ways to handle your situation. Even just one session can make a lot of difference.

Not sure if that's the kind of response you were looking for, but hopefully it's helpful.
Nov 12 2009 11:54AM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
3 family members, 1 friend dead in two months. Add that to the fact that I have had a family member or two die since I was in 4th grade and that is what is causing me all the problems.
Nov 12 2009 11:55AM
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sTr8_JiBbiN
Posts: 494 - Karma: 43
dude he will probly either tell you what you need to do to get ontop of your shit so u do better in class.. or he will try and get you help. give you someone to talk to so you can back on track. either way it should be help
Nov 12 2009 12:00PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
Thing is, that really my quarter is starting to wind down in terms of how much longer my classes keep going.
Nov 12 2009 12:02PM
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sconniestyle
Posts: 3945 - Karma: 26

unless he is a total chach, my guess would be that he wants to talk with you about the mitigating factors in your life that have affected your school performance.

whenever i had to talk to the dean of students i was in trouble for things or interviewing him for the paper, but i know friends who had tough issues to deal with during college and in their experiences he was always very supportive, understanding, and fair.

i would reccomend going in with no preconcieved notions, being as honest and forthright as possible, and be polite and respectable, because being on a first name basis with the dean of students and having him/her in your corner can only help you out in the future.

Nov 12 2009 12:05PM
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ski@jaypeak2
Posts: 2800 - Karma: 394

I would assume he is going to talk about a plan of action for school.  What can he do to help you finish out the semester and do well in your classes.  almost like a guidence counselor in high school.  I dont think he is going to pry you for your feelings.  If they come out, they come out.  I see it as a friend you can talk to and he can help you focus on your path at school and set goals to achieve for this semester.

Good luck and keep your head up.  Failing out of school is no good (i know all too well)  if he is willing to sit you down and go though step by step what you need to achieve a degree i would try to schedule reular appointments with him instead of counseling. 

Nov 12 2009 12:05PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
Yeah, I figured. My meeting with him is at 10am Pacific time to wish me luck.
Nov 12 2009 12:06PM
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theblackrod
Posts: 2162 - Karma: 575
+vibes for what you're going through, i know its tough.  and honestly he'll probably just try to see how you are coping with everything and therapy is probably going to come up, especially when the number is as high as yours.  if you really are having trouble then i would consider therapy, no one likes to be weak like that, but sometimes its the only way to make you stronger.  there is a chance they exempt you from your grades this semester if it has been extremely tough on you, i know some schools are very lenient about this stuff.
Nov 12 2009 12:11PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
Damnit, this meeting is really worrying me.
Nov 12 2009 12:18PM
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theblackrod
Posts: 2162 - Karma: 575
i wouldn't worry, it isn't like you're getting expelled or something.  its just a check-up on how things are doing.  its like getting a shot when you were a kid, you hate going, but once its over it really wasn't that bad.
Nov 12 2009 12:19PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
Yeah... still, things like this are always worrying though.
Nov 12 2009 12:22PM
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theblackrod
Posts: 2162 - Karma: 575
that is true, i'm sure i'd be worried if i was in your position.  good luck with everything. i have classes to head off to.  make sure to post what they say.
Nov 12 2009 12:25PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
I will, I hate sounding all sappy and shit like this... makes me feel week and I hate it.
Nov 12 2009 12:34PM
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el_chupacabra
Posts: 639 - Karma: 14
That's definitely a bad stigma around this kind of shit. I don't understand how people view seeking help like this as a sign of weakness. Would people consider you weak if you went to see a doctor because you broke your arm? No. Just because the issue is more mental and not physical does not make it any less serious.
Nov 12 2009 12:51PM
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Malcolm
Posts: 15949 - Karma: 9,431

damn that sucks +vibes. but i dont think theres anything to be worried about. theyre going to be pretty understanding of your situation and are probably going to suggest things like therapy, tutors.

Nov 12 2009 12:57PM
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.travis.
Posts: 1737 - Karma: 46
Just be glad to have the meeting man and that he is going to hear you out and help you get through school. My dad died my freshman year of college and I failed most of my classes for the semester because of it. Talking with the dean is going to help, so you are doing the right thing. + vibes man, good luck.
Nov 12 2009 1:11PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
Well, I got the assistant Dean of Students personal home phone number and email and he wants me to talk to him at least once a week about how my week went and shit. He sped my way into the counseling center and helped me jump past the waiting list to see someone today after my last class. Things are looking up but this is going to be a hard climb.
Nov 12 2009 1:50PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
It probably has something to do with how I was raised. My dad is 71 and is from the old school so to speak. Served in the Navy, went to Vietnam, and spent close to 35 years working on merchant ships around the world. He has told me stories about what he saw in Vietnam and I would ask if he ever got help and he never did, said that back in that day and age there wasn't that option, no one really knew about PTSD, and that he had a life to get back o.
Nov 12 2009 1:53PM
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MAPLE_SYRUP
Posts: 1910 - Karma: 68

Good Luck Mr. Panda and +vibes to you man

life sucks sometimes. Be happy with what you got and who you have. keep your friends close

Nov 12 2009 2:58PM
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KramerC
Posts: 619 - Karma: 21
Not to be a dick, but if you spent less time on newschoolers you would do much better in school. Your alway on this site.
Nov 12 2009 3:09PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
Yeah yeah I know... I leave my computer on when I leave my room or if I take my laptop with me I have an hour break between each of my classes.
Nov 12 2009 3:12PM
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Rachy
Posts: 4355 - Karma: 2,761
They will probably send you to a therapy session to determine the best course of action. Either you will get extended incompletes, they will offer you a retrograde withdrawl(sucks if you have done a lot already) or be dicks and not do anything.

I would try to bring up the potential of taking incompletes in the courses proving to be the hardest and suggest that you have summer to make up the missing work.
Nov 12 2009 3:13PM
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theblackrod
Posts: 2162 - Karma: 575
always keep your feet moving, only way to overcome is to act.  don't get caught standing there and letting it take you for the ride because it will only end worse.
Nov 12 2009 3:23PM
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