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March, 2024

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So I got this theory right...

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Armanzoid
Posts: 2453 - Karma: 26
Basically I was drunk/high one night and came up with this idea, now my friends know me because of this theory.

The basic gist of it is you are stuck inside an enclosed space, like 800m x 800m space. Now lets say 1,000 6 year olds are unleashed on you, would you be able to fight them all off?

You could take this argument various ways. Lets say there is one super kid who rallies them all against you and mounts a tactical offense. Or they could all just be dumb kids who drool and beg for mommy as you pound their faces into the ground. The one thing thats good to change around is the ages of the kids, what age can they start putting up a fight? What about a 1,000 9 year olds?

Personally I think that I could utterly wreck these kids, regardless of endurance. Sure a 1,000 is a lot, but all I have to do is throw 1,000 good kicks. Maybe not even a 1,000, most of them might get scared off when they see their friends pummeled.

Bring this up at your next party, great conversation starter.
Nov 11 2009 9:09PM
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shragler
Posts: 572 - Karma: 32
you should be watched by the authorities
Nov 11 2009 9:12PM
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Arabian.
Posts: 9632 - Karma: 54
Have you ever just wanted to pick up a 6 year old boy or girl, and just start beating the shit out of the other kids with that 6 year old boy or girl?
Nov 11 2009 9:12PM
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purps
Posts: 468 - Karma: 30

hahahahaha great thread

Nov 11 2009 9:14PM
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vincentlee223
Posts: 1571 - Karma: 382
I like to act out my fantasies in GTA so that i don't end up like you.
Nov 11 2009 9:14PM
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T-Holt
Posts: 5020 - Karma: 639
That gave me a good chuckle.
Nov 11 2009 9:14PM
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ManOnTheMoon
Posts: 515 - Karma: 17
thats what im sayin, pick one up throw it you take out like 3 with each kid. also how much could they actually hurt you like i feel like only 4  or 5 could hit you at a time based on circling you, how much could those 4 kids hurt you.
Nov 11 2009 9:15PM
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PilleDaKid
Posts: 3193 - Karma: 2,629
Dude 1000 little kids is a shit load of people, they would kill you no doubt. And I'm sorry but why would you bring that up at a party?
Nov 11 2009 9:15PM
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Piste.Off
Posts: 11586 - Karma: 1,861
one good nut shot by a kid and you're done
Nov 11 2009 9:16PM
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timmi
Posts: 12874 - Karma: 3,460
http://www.oneplusyou.com/bb/fight5

here you go
Nov 11 2009 9:16PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
I've tripped a 6 year old on the plane that was running up and down the aisles screaming after I had asked the mom to stop them 3 or 4 times politely.
Nov 11 2009 9:16PM
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idskithat
Posts: 1314 - Karma: 154
if uve lost all hope and start to lose do the last thing............start peeing on them
Nov 11 2009 9:17PM
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Arabian.
Posts: 9632 - Karma: 54
I don't know about you, but I fuck those kids UP. I'd pile the knock out ones in the shape of a fortress so the kids would be forced to bottleneck into my space so i could take them on one by one, and I would methodically decimate each one over the course of a couple hours.

Then I would a necklace of their baby teeth as a badge of honor.
Nov 11 2009 9:17PM
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SKIU4EA
Posts: 2387 - Karma: 2,072
if it was 801m x 801m space then you could probably pull it off, but 800??? are you fucking crazy? you would drown in a sea of screaching 6yr olds!!
Nov 11 2009 9:17PM
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Jwalk
Posts: 4647 - Karma: 134
mythbusters!
Nov 11 2009 9:18PM
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yellav
Posts: 10056 - Karma: 1,217
i got 28
Nov 11 2009 9:20PM
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Malcolm
Posts: 15949 - Karma: 9,431
thats a question thats kept me up many nights
Nov 11 2009 9:20PM
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1337
Posts: 31038 - Karma: 29,003
maybe not 1000 12 year olds (my brother is quite vicious for a 12 year old), maybe 500 12. 9 year olds? 1000 sounds about right.
Nov 11 2009 9:20PM
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T-Holt
Posts: 5020 - Karma: 639
You are going so in depth with this. I love it.
Nov 11 2009 9:21PM
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OhMyBosh
Posts: 5056 - Karma: 170
No fucking chance you could take 1000 idiot. They weight like 60 pounds or somethign right... 1000 of them, running at you and punching you and shit. you'd get smothered in 10 seconds, and youd be exhausted even if you could hold them off after about 5 minutes.

Itd be like Neo in the matrix where he fights like 10000 agents... except youre not neo.
Nov 11 2009 9:22PM
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Armanzoid
Posts: 2453 - Karma: 26
That one isn't fair though, they are merciless 5 year olds. I am talking about kids with hearts and souls. Personally I wouldn't mind trying a psychological defeat with them. Where I beat them, but then offer them compassion. Become their God.
Nov 11 2009 9:22PM
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PhilboydStudge
Posts: 3431 - Karma: 206
haha i bet that ended well
Nov 11 2009 9:23PM
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bananas
Posts: 1419 - Karma: 164
i would use one of them as a weapon
Nov 11 2009 9:24PM
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Armanzoid
Posts: 2453 - Karma: 26
You have no fucking clue how deep I got into this conversation. I spent like 2 hours talking about this one time, people get really heated with me cause they disagree with what would happen.
Nov 11 2009 9:24PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
She bitched at me for hurting her son.

"Ma'am. I asked you, 4 times to get him to stop. You just sneered at me. Sorry, I happened to need to stretch my legs when he was going by, I will try to not get uncomfortable again here in coach."
Nov 11 2009 9:28PM
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jamodeo
Posts: 3040 - Karma: 663
45
Nov 11 2009 9:34PM
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Armanzoid
Posts: 2453 - Karma: 26
You need to consider the humanity of these little kids. If I pummel his best friend in a furious bloody rage, I don't think he has the balls to get back up and fight me.
Nov 11 2009 9:36PM
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OhMyBosh
Posts: 5056 - Karma: 170
if theres 1000 of them whos sole goal is to kick your ass, then youd get raped, no matter what... even with 100 you'd get pwnt.
Nov 11 2009 9:42PM
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oreopancake.
Posts: 2596 - Karma: 21
haha beat me to it
Nov 11 2009 9:46PM
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TheButterHashira
Posts: 9691 - Karma: 1,702
I just lost.
Nov 11 2009 9:46PM
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Armanzoid
Posts: 2453 - Karma: 26
Ahh, but it isn't. It's just normal little kids, this is a real world scenario. Lets even say they know beforehand that it will be a fight, and maybe even throw in one 12 year old leader, then I will say that I would have a problem because there will be some planning and leadership involved, but otherwise, I got this.
Nov 11 2009 9:49PM
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OhMyBosh
Posts: 5056 - Karma: 170
You fail to comprehend how big 1000 kids is. Thats a lot of fucking kids.
Nov 11 2009 9:51PM
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blavallee4
Posts: 360 - Karma: 93
this should be posted on "if you laugh you lose thread"
Nov 11 2009 9:51PM
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Thenowhereman42
Posts: 5682 - Karma: 65
I think they would probably take you. Especially with tv these days, they could probably get pretty violent. BTW there is a website somewhere and you answer some questions and they tell you how many 5 year olds you could take in a fight.
Nov 11 2009 9:52PM
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frosted_flakes
Posts: 1200 - Karma: 1,256
there would probly be at least 30 crazy ones that would try to take you alone if they had to and they would get the others to join in, then you would die. You should run an experiment that tests this, it would be totally moral
Nov 11 2009 9:57PM
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Armanzoid
Posts: 2453 - Karma: 26
That's why you have to start strong and beat the shit out of ten of them, swinging by their legs, all that jazz. They would be terrified of you, then you can slowly pick them off. I never said it would be easy, but if done right, I'll be standing on a pile of unconscious 6 year olds.
Nov 11 2009 9:59PM
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Shlogan
Posts: 4942 - Karma: 430
for 1,000? i think 5 is the turning point.
Nov 11 2009 10:03PM
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.travis.
Posts: 1737 - Karma: 46
I'm with you on this one. I think if you kick a bunch of them in the head right off the bat, then in a real world scenario many would start crying and get scared. 1,000 is a shit load of kids, but they are 5. then if you used one as a weapon they are all fucked.

btw, i feel a little bad about even contemplating beating up a bunch of kindergarten kids.
Nov 11 2009 10:08PM
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GNARBARSTAR
Posts: 639 - Karma: 16
38 for me...... my fience thinks she can take 10, and had a really good laugh at this.

its quit simple you couldn't take  1000 kids you would be smothered, you would lose alot faster if they are all inner city kids cause they would be packin foo
Nov 11 2009 10:13PM
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PSiekierski
Posts: 330 - Karma: 33
hahaha that would be fun
Nov 11 2009 10:14PM
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Armanzoid
Posts: 2453 - Karma: 26
Thank you! Finally someone sees the light.
Nov 11 2009 10:16PM
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PAuL_Hellar
Posts: 1355 - Karma: 62
i would ruin 1000 6 yr ols but 9yr olds thas a completly different strtoy still young but 1000 is alot
Nov 11 2009 10:19PM
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ski-swagga
Posts: 5276 - Karma: 219
hahaha what an odd thread.
Nov 11 2009 10:25PM
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nightscraper
Posts: 198 - Karma: 9
for this i would agree that 1000 is a shitload of kids. but what if you had a partner? then i think it could be done
Nov 11 2009 10:28PM
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Armanzoid
Posts: 2453 - Karma: 26
These are 6 year olds, they are fragile little things. You could ruin their childhood with every punch. For example:

Right hook
"Santa is not real, it's just your parents lying to you"
Left hook
"You're probably going to have to bury your parents"
Right kick
"There is no tooth fairy, just wait until you start losing teeth for free"

Psychological warfare + Physical pummeling = total win
Nov 11 2009 10:38PM
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nightscraper
Posts: 198 - Karma: 9
yes but you need endurance. and thats where your partner comes in handy, so you can have some tag team action. because youll get tired after a few
Nov 11 2009 10:39PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
Click for larger image

This is all you would need to do.
Nov 11 2009 10:40PM
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frosted_flakes
Posts: 1200 - Karma: 1,256
1,000 9 yr olds would murder you
Nov 11 2009 10:41PM
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[Dawn
Posts: 1718 - Karma: 69
GTA is everything you want to do, but cant.
Nov 11 2009 10:52PM
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Drail
Posts: 14011 - Karma: 10,001
23
Nov 11 2009 11:01PM
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ClownPrince
Posts: 500 - Karma: 10
Hahaha, yes. I was losing faith in NS, and this thread single-handedly turned around my pessimism and made me laugh out loud.

And yeah, I think you'd be fucked. 1000 is a lot. I'm scared.
Nov 11 2009 11:12PM
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