"When I was at camp, my favorite activity was always arts and crafts. Or, as we used to call it: arts and *farts* and crafts. We used to make drawings... cave drawings! Which is my way of saying we were cave men. I went to camp so long ago, that I can remember saying "sticks and stones may break my bones" and meaning it! I went to camp so long ago that fucking Jesus Christ was my counselor! And my best friend hadn't fully evolved yet! His name was Ug and he walked on all fours! There were two epidemics when I went to camp: head lice, and the plague - the Bubonic plague!"
"white folks sound so stupid when they get mad. they be like "hey asshole, im going to kick your b-hind." but the brothers wont even need to raise their voice. these motherfuckers be like "don't make me say it twice."
"You listen to me, Mr. Kickass. Mr. Rubber Burner. You wipe that hot shot grin off your face or I'll shoot it off ya!"