Member of the Month

PartyBullshiit
March, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

Best Rap Punchlines

profile picture
Jacob.
Posts: 521 - Karma: 35
Just post the funniest rap punchlines you know

"y'all niggas like 14 days, too weak for me" -.40 Cal
"For celebration's sake, I'm poppin this clown's neck, like college, niggas fail cuz they droppin from CAL-Tech" -.40 cal
"I tattooed F-U-N on my dick, for Fuck U Niggas while I poke fun at your bitch" -Valkil
Jul 27 2009 9:46PM
0 0
profile picture
ski-swagga
Posts: 5276 - Karma: 219
"i ask her who's the man, she says B.I.G. then i bust in her E.Y.E." -Notorious B.I.G.
Jul 27 2009 11:30PM
0 0
profile picture
Totes_Magotes
Posts: 2259 - Karma: 870

"What did Fifty Cent say to his Grandmother when she made him a sweater?"

"GEE, YOU KNIT!?!?"  (G-UNIT)   - Sage Francis

and

"Fuck, I know your in the building, Rapper. Studios aren't out side." - i forget

Jul 27 2009 11:46PM
0 0
profile picture
OscarTheGrouch
Posts: 839 - Karma: 15
"I'd love to give my chest hairs a perm"- Method Man

"Real rappers is hard to find, like a remote"- Common

"Girls pee pee when they see me" -B.I.G.


Jul 28 2009 12:17AM
0 0
profile picture
dr_phil
Posts: 1698 - Karma: 95
Big L raps are pretty much all punch lines. And they're great!

From Da Graveyard, this is probably one of my favorite ones:

A tech nine is my utensil
Fillin niggas with so much lead they can use they dick for a pencil
Jul 28 2009 12:32AM
0 0
profile picture
eheath
Posts: 61100 - Karma: 118,256
"C4 to your door, no beef no more nigga" BIG

"im shooting babys no if and or maybes" BIG
Jul 28 2009 1:04AM
0 0
profile picture
yaaaie
Posts: 333 - Karma: 536
"Blood, Sweat n Tears - It took all 3 to get here!" - Juelz Santana
Jul 28 2009 11:13AM
0 0
profile picture
twix_182
Posts: 9248 - Karma: 27
got more soul than a sock with a hole-doom

Jul 28 2009 11:44AM
0 0
profile picture
^nate^
Posts: 1263 - Karma: 560
second one is mac lethal i believe
Jul 28 2009 1:20PM
0 0
profile picture
matt.rad
Posts: 1813 - Karma: 302

pretty much the entire song "Suck It Or Not" by Cam'ron feat. Lil Wayne
it's all degrading and hilarious

Jul 28 2009 2:35PM
0 0
profile picture
DYFI
Posts: 3836 - Karma: 30
"Let me hit it from the back, girl I wont catch a hernia
Bust off on your couch, now you got semens furniture" Tribe

Get's me every time.
Jul 28 2009 3:46PM
0 0
profile picture
ski8990
Posts: 5961 - Karma: 19
Now I have to play the part of the advisor/ Because the bud is just a tasty tantalizer/ The bud, not the beer, cause the bud makes me wiser-- The Pharcyde ( not sure but I think its fatlip)
Jul 28 2009 5:15PM
0 0
profile picture
reverendwrong
Posts: 3145 - Karma: 142
"if your stripper names porche(sp) and you get tips from any man, then your fat friend her nickname is mini van" -Kanye West
Jul 28 2009 5:28PM
0 0
profile picture
Jacob.
Posts: 521 - Karma: 35
Big L's 98 freestyle is classic too...

"fuckin punk you aint a leader, nobody ever followed you, you was never shit, your mother should've sallowed you"

and

"before i buck lead, and make a lot of blood shed, and turn your tux red, your all broke i got enough bread, and mad hoes ask Beavis i get nothing BUTT HEAD
Jul 28 2009 6:24PM
0 0
profile picture
landonn
Posts: 2913 - Karma: 385
i'll make you famous, turn around and make you nameless cause you never understood how vital to me this rap game is. gang starr.
Jul 28 2009 6:41PM
0 0
profile picture
skithe49th
Posts: 2487 - Karma: 14
all i need in this life of sin is a crooked lawyer, big rims and a mac 10- dj green lantern
Jul 28 2009 6:41PM
0 0
profile picture
Campeador
Posts: 7516 - Karma: -1,227
slap my cock between your eyes now you're cockeyed, cocksucker you can't fuck with the nuts, ask you girl cause she's sucking the nuts - Beatnuts
Jul 28 2009 8:08PM
0 0
profile picture
heFF
Posts: 5786 - Karma: 4,457
listen to ether by nas disses jay z damn hard
Jul 29 2009 12:42AM
0 0
profile picture
Totes_Magotes
Posts: 2259 - Karma: 870
THANK YOU.. I've been stuck thinking that for ALL DAY.. +k
Jul 29 2009 12:50AM
0 0
profile picture
T.Rah
Posts: 153 - Karma: 10

haha i thot this was funny.....just read the quote i have underneath this

Jul 29 2009 1:11AM
0 0
profile picture
technique.
Posts: 1538 - Karma: 308
Pharoahe Monch - Desire

"I protect my name like yo' anus, in prison"
Jul 29 2009 3:21PM
0 0
profile picture
^nate^
Posts: 1263 - Karma: 560
haha he dishes it out and in a hilarious way. i ranted about fergie for a whole song at his concert in minneapolis two years ago.
Jul 29 2009 3:54PM
0 0
profile picture
daringharry
Posts: 1627 - Karma: 12
"pop it, lock it, drop it" hannah montana

That's rap guis right????!?!?!?
Jul 29 2009 4:39PM
0 0
profile picture
Dylan_
Posts: 9824 - Karma: 1,403
"Oh my God, I'm droppin shit like a pigeon
I hope you're listenin, smackin babies at they christening"



Jul 29 2009 5:05PM
0 0
profile picture
NilsJ
Posts: 102 - Karma: 15
"I smash mics like cornbread, you cant kill me, i was born dead"
Jul 29 2009 9:03PM
0 0
profile picture
davedinuzzo
Posts: 232 - Karma: 36
my metaphors are dirty like herpes but harder to catch

i'll bust off on her face and right after this segment, she'll probly rub it in her pussy tryin to get herself pregnant


both are immortal technique
Jul 29 2009 9:12PM
0 0
profile picture
beast_coast
Posts: 288 - Karma: 189
my clan is thick like plaster, rush ya, slash ya, slit a nigga back like a dutch master - gary grice
Jul 29 2009 9:25PM
0 0
profile picture
steezyjibber
Posts: 15967 - Karma: 11,016
"I'm not cocky, I'm confident. So when you tell me I'm the best it's a COMPLIMENT. HAAHAA!" - Jadakiss
Jul 29 2009 10:43PM
0 0
profile picture
ben802
Posts: 565 - Karma: 16
listen to fabolous or talib kweli

Jul 29 2009 11:27PM
0 0
profile picture
Rogge
Posts: 5772 - Karma: 3,867
"Fuck off kid let me tell you what happened, you should be dead sperm wrapped in a napkin"
-All Star (the dude from the Salomon Freeski TV episode!)
Jul 30 2009 9:29AM
0 0
profile picture
bailer
Posts: 2178 - Karma: 14
"I sell ice in the winter, I sell fire in hell, I am a hustla, baby, I'll sell wata to a well" - Jayz
Jul 30 2009 11:19AM
0 0
profile picture
iSkiAz
Posts: 404 - Karma: 37
Beat my dick like it owes me monayy
Jul 30 2009 4:15PM
0 0
profile picture
seemeski
Posts: 4210 - Karma: 124
"I'm iced out like a glass of tea" De La Soul
Jul 30 2009 5:27PM
0 0
profile picture
eggss
Posts: 38 - Karma: 8
its the beat, he hears it in his sleep some times, then he blares it in his jeep so the people can stare at the rhymes. -MF doom

ill shoot ya mom in the back and fuck the bullethole till she dies. - Immortal Technique
Jul 30 2009 6:52PM
0 0
profile picture
T.L.
Posts: 4729 - Karma: 3,008
"And from the sound of it, you on a stage
Is like a square in a triangle hole: it don't fit
I mean, the whole way you tryin to hold the mic
I ain't tryin to be a smart aleck, but you sound like a dick"

J Live
Jul 30 2009 8:47PM
0 0
profile picture
Jacob.
Posts: 521 - Karma: 35
hahahaha that one made me giggle
Jul 31 2009 12:21AM
0 0
profile picture
JEAopardy
Posts: 811 - Karma: 25
anyone of biggies . period .
Jul 31 2009 2:01AM
0 0
profile picture
CarsonL
Posts: 22 - Karma: 35

"i like titties and you like nuts, lets get together and make them touch."

Jul 31 2009 10:49AM
0 0
profile picture
Jodi
Posts: 4215 - Karma: 745

"talkin 'bout you  - you I took you out, but sex was on my mind through the whole damn route...you got me in a frenzy in a horny state, now im gonna drop a pound of poontang until it stinks. "

Jul 31 2009 12:31PM
0 0
profile picture
Jodi
Posts: 4215 - Karma: 745

^^i fucked that sequence up, but yeah - electric relaxation for sure.

Oh AND ALKAHOLICS...."shit, i hit it from all the angles, swingin my dick like the california angels."

Jul 31 2009 12:34PM
0 0
profile picture
PAuL_Hellar
Posts: 1355 - Karma: 62
when a wolf cry wolf you still see that wolf teeth mothafucka - lil wayne
Jul 31 2009 1:01PM
0 0
profile picture
JEAopardy
Posts: 811 - Karma: 25
^ no lil wayne has the worst lyrics of all time
Jul 31 2009 8:29PM
0 0
profile picture
sruss
Posts: 7 - Karma: 10
"that's why i fucked your bitch you fat mutha fucker" - tupac at biggie on hit em up ahah
Aug 5 2009 10:42AM
0 0
profile picture
*Nickdel*
Posts: 2258 - Karma: 868

With skills unused like fallopian tubes on a dyke-immortal technique

'Cause AIDS infested child molesters aren't sicker than me-immortal technique


this guy has soooooo many punchline its crazy

Aug 5 2009 11:09AM
0 0
profile picture
mattb912
Posts: 3078 - Karma: 194
Yea he does

drinking bacardi at AA meetings - immortal techinique


Aug 5 2009 10:47PM
0 0
profile picture
waterfordsam
Posts: 172 - Karma: 11
If y'all don't like me, blow me. -Dr. Dre
Aug 5 2009 11:33PM
0 0
profile picture
PappaG
Posts: 931 - Karma: 797
Have you ever went over a friends house to eat
And the food just ain't no good?
The macaroni's soggy, the peas are mushed,
And the chicken tastes like wood
So you try to play it off like you think you can
By saying that you're full
And then your friend says, "Mama, he's just being polite
He ain't finished, uh-uh, that's bull!"
So your heart starts pumpin' and you think of a lie
And you say that you already ate
And your friend says "Man, there's plenty of food"
So you pile some more on your plate
While the stinky food's steamin', your mind starts to dreamin'
Of the moment that it's time to leave
And then you look at your plate and your chicken's slowly rottin'
Into something that looks like cheese
Oh so you say "That's it, I gotta leave this place
I don't care what these people think,
I'm just sittin' here makin' myself nauseous
With this ugly food that stinks"
So you bust out the door while it's still closed
Still sick from the food you ate
And then you run to the store for quick relief
From a bottle of Kaopectate

Aug 6 2009 12:51AM
0 0
profile picture
bibs_skibum
Posts: 4462 - Karma: 449
"dear mr. toilet, im the shit.  Got these other haters pissed cuz my toilet paper thick."

lil wayne
Aug 6 2009 1:03AM
0 0
profile picture
WhiteBurd
Posts: 1127 - Karma: 98
said it rhyme now the industry got pink eye
Aug 6 2009 11:17AM
0 0
profile picture
*Nickdel*
Posts: 2258 - Karma: 868
as much as i hate lil wayne, i do have to say he has some pretty funny punchlines
Aug 6 2009 2:34PM
0 0
profile picture
Totes_Magotes
Posts: 2259 - Karma: 870

New Page..

 There yar ma friends

Aug 6 2009 3:34PM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-4)