Here are 5 major things that will help you in yourcareer as a bum.
1) Theeasiest way to keep warm in the winter/cool in the summer is to find localcommunity buildings where you can loiter as long as you want. My personal favorite is the library. You can chill and wait out your time asa drifter for free while still staying entertained with free access to theworld wide web or “The Net” as some people like to call it. Remember free is key!
2) Theonly way to get free shit with out coops is to ask. If asking doesn’t work it usually leads to hassling. Depending on the sexual preference ofthe person you are trying to receive free shit from, a little flirting neverhurt. If these things don’t work,you can always force your way through like I have exemplified many times in thepast at the Market Place.
3) Agreat way to get food when in dire need is to pull classic pranks(stealing). Some examples include:
A. Dine and dash
2. Puttingyour own hair in your food and acting really really appalled toward therestaurant staff (almost never fails)
C. Classicdrive through prank (order 2 dub cheese burgs, take one out…proceed to insideregister and complain
3. 5finger discount. It worksANYWHERE!!!
4) Ifyou every come across a Walmart/Target and you want, say, anything? The easiest way to get it and not payfor it is to put it on the bottom of your cart nearest the side of the conveyerbelt at check out. Then continue towardthe check out isle and pick the shortest cashier. If the lazy worker happens to see that you have stuff on thebottom of your cart simply respond with “oh! Good eye!”
5) Assumingyour not a total bum, and you still want to snow blade all the time, NEVER buy a pass or at least don’t payfull price. Easy ways to do thisare:
a. Geta job at the hill and quit
b. Don’tbuy a pass and pull the “I’m in the comp” bit
2. Run passes if possible
c. Usepeoples buddy passes
d. Makea fake pass and put it in a pass pocket
Other tips include being overly confident in everything youdo so as not to draw suspicion to yourself. (Own the place)
Have no pride and beg for shit all the time. And always assume your welcome oneveryone’s couch all the time.
Live incredibly cheap and only splurge to buy Gray Goose andother badass novelties.EndFragment