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March, 2024

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I talked with god

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.Asain-Skiier
Posts: 3708 - Karma: 977
http:///www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html
Jan 7 2009 6:52PM
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k-rob
Posts: 14217 - Karma: 2,890
repost.

Jan 7 2009 6:54PM
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00000000
Posts: 11075 - Karma: 82,508
That's not god, it's a computer
Jan 7 2009 6:58PM
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andrew.
Posts: 2349 - Karma: 165
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
 well this one time, i was going to the mall with my friend ed to get some tall tees, and i saw this chick that i used to toke with, and she was like "hayyyy" and i was like "what up biddy?".  then she hugged me and was like all up on my d and shit, so later on, i got a text from her and long story short, we did the nasty.  she a durty ho.
God:
Well that's okay.  What does "this" refer to?   Oh I get it.   hugged you and was like all up on your d and shit so later on you got a text from her and long story short you did the nasty.   Oh I get it.   a durty ho.
Jan 7 2009 7:00PM
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Hansel.
Posts: 4583 - Karma: 112
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
AND YOUR GAY
God:
That would be just my luck.
Me:
HAHAHHHAA
Jan 7 2009 7:04PM
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Mike34113
Posts: 1088 - Karma: 112
its deja vu all over again
Jan 7 2009 7:05PM
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chitownskiier8
Posts: 399 - Karma: 24
god doesnt even know wat school i go to :(
Jan 7 2009 7:10PM
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GOD..
Posts: 12 - Karma: 10
Dont put me in a mood in which will cease your lives.
Jan 7 2009 7:16PM
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funk.
Posts: 2679 - Karma: 33
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
 ski and kick it with the bros
God:
I don't think very many people do that.
Me:
 word up
God:
How far up?
Me:
 that's what she said
God:
That is " What did you say?".
Me:
"That is what she said."
Jan 7 2009 7:17PM
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Dainsey
Posts: 2263 - Karma: 378
hahahahahahahahhaha!
i lol'd


Me:
so i was chillin' at my crib and i was like...i'm bored and so i smoked a bunch of crack, drank a gallon of gasoline and for a few seconds, thought i was patrick scwayze
God:
That's interesting. Where were you chillin at your crib? Where were you like? Why?: said m bored and so he or she smoked a bunch of crack drank a gallon of gasoline and for a few seconds thought he or she was patrick scwayze.
Me:
um i think i was in my room...coulda been the kitchen too
God:
Describe your surroundings to me. It sounds very beautiful.
Me:
oh it was...lets see...like there were penguins chillin' everywhere and there were coke and pepsi bottles fighting!!!
God:
Ah. When was this? That sounds good to me. Interesting comparison.
Me:
oh for sure...the sunny d and the milk were cheering on....oh and the grape soda and chicken wings were smokin a bowl.
God:
That's alright. Awesome. What is that? That's alright. What is your real name?
Me:
michael. come on god...i thought u had names on lock
God:
Hi, michael. GOD rules. What happened to it.
Me:
no...DOYLE RULESSS.
God:
That was not a yes or no question. My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
cooool
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
yes...so yeah...that's all
God:
Gosh! Yikes! Are you kidding? " Are you kidding?"? is all?
Me:
god...that hurt my feelings
God:
GOD rules. " GOD rules." hurt your feelings ? I understand.
Me:
naw son...man u confusin. i'm peacin out...latta
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about cooool. Try being more or less specific. Cool, man. Thanks for telling me: michael said I confusin. Do your friends call you peacin out. My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
laterr
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
meth. bye
God:
I don't think very many people do that. See you later.
Jan 7 2009 7:19PM
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greenman
Posts: 945 - Karma: 27
God:
What's your favroite color?
Me:
gnar
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am favroite color IS gnar.
Me:
yes its copyrighted
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential.


haha i love this
Jan 7 2009 7:22PM
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Mike34113
Posts: 1088 - Karma: 112
Me:
do you know what searchbar is?
God:
I don't know anything about it.
Me:
neither does newschoolers
Jan 7 2009 7:25PM
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skithesprings
Posts: 9086 - Karma: 1,349

Me:
 do you know how to get to chads gap from the bottom of alta?
God:
Practise, Practise, Practise.
Me:
 no i dont think thats it
God:
Are you serious?  And why not?
Me:
 because ski patroll blew it up
God:
Good reason. 

Jan 7 2009 7:33PM
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artfullydodged
Posts: 8358 - Karma: 1,674
Me:
do u like wu tang
God:
I love TV shows about robots. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.
Me:
oh do u want me to leave?
God:
Blimey. Not at all, . I am finding this conversation quite stimulating.
Me:
ur getting off to this coversation
God:
Do you think I should tone it down?
Me:
yea prbly
God:
I've been waiting for you. Why?
Me:
no homo?
God:
Are you serious? What kind of food do you like?
Me:
im outta here, and chris hansen is gonna get you
God:
Would you like to have it?
Me:
NO fuck off
God:
Why not? Can't you be more polite?
Jan 7 2009 7:34PM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,267
ZOMG ATHEIST!!!1111!!!!!1!
SHUN THE NON-BELIEVER!!!!!!1111!!!!!!!111!!!!!
Jan 7 2009 7:38PM
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D-HAWK
Posts: 890 - Karma: 10
haha +1 for a laugh
Jan 7 2009 7:40PM
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Da_Buddha
Posts: 802 - Karma: 1,182


Me:
can u atfterbang
God:
Let me think. Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
Do you know how to afterbang?
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
do you know E-Tard?
God:
I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it?
Me:
on Newschoolers
God:
What is it like on Newschoolers.
Me:
a bunch of kids who like to ski and not use the searchbar
God:
I don't know what that means.
Me:
thats prolly cause ur a noob and have zero posts
God:
I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
ya me too
God:
Right on. I'm glad we agree, god.
Me:
my name is Tom Wallisch
God:
Hi, Tom Wallisch.
Me:
please call me the pretzel king
God:
Thanks for asking politely. How are you doing, the pretzel king.
Me:
im a robot
God:
I doubt that.
Jan 7 2009 7:45PM
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nifty0140
Posts: 92 - Karma: 9


Me:
 god i fucked so many hot bitches today
God:
Ah.  I am a Christian.
Me:
 cool. do you like to get your dick sucked
God:
Hmm, , I'm not sure if I'd like to  get my dick sucked that much.  I like to chat.
Me:
 oh i like to chat too.. but i like my dick sucked more
God:
Gee.  I am glad we have something in common.  I'm not sure if I would like to do  it. What's it like?    What do you like best about your  dick getting sucked?
Me:
 it feels good. and i like to bust all over the bitches face
God:
Human feelings are not within my capabilities.   I'm not sure if I would like to do  it. What's it like?
Me:
 she sucks on your dick and shit
God:
Oh I get it.   sucks on my dick and shit.
Jan 7 2009 7:49PM
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Dustin.
Posts: 13839 - Karma: 7,704
God:
My favorite show is STAR TREK VOYAGER.
Jan 7 2009 7:50PM
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babujib
Posts: 5039 - Karma: 104
HAHAHAH i just died laughing, nicely done my friend, its also funny because this is a repost...
Jan 7 2009 7:55PM
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Cuckoo
Posts: 637 - Karma: 9
Me:
have you had sexual intercourse
God:
As a Infinite year old Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? I have no need for sex.

LOL
Jan 7 2009 8:02PM
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Cuckoo
Posts: 637 - Karma: 9
Me:
So who is on top
God:
I see. George Washington.
Jan 7 2009 8:03PM
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Cuckoo
Posts: 637 - Karma: 9
Me:
So how about titty Fucking that hoe
God:
Aw. How about it.
Me:
well you like it
God:
Interesting. titty Fucking that hoe seems okay to me.
Jan 7 2009 8:05PM
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skithesprings
Posts: 9086 - Karma: 1,349

God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
 i like weed, vag, alcohol, and skiing.
God:
A lot of people like that.

i guess NS has been chatting God up a bit too long.

Jan 7 2009 8:10PM
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huge-go
Posts: 1451 - Karma: 33
Me:
what's up?
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
DID YOU KNOW I WAS GOING TO SAY THAT?
God:
That is " For real.".
Me:
What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
You don't make sense
God:
It all makes sense to me.
Me:
YOu're confusing
God:
What is it that confuses you?
Me:
you
God:
" What is it that confuses you?"? Me, ?
Me:
yes
God:
Next question?
Me:
huh
God:
What?
Me:
exactly
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
dope
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
what
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
no
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
everything
God:
Let's take it step by step. The topic is dope.
Me:
ok
God:
Wow!
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
domo
God:
You think domo is superior to ALICE?
Me:
absolutely
God:
You are so certain.
Me:
yes
God:
Come on.
Me:
I am
God:
" Come on." You are?
Me:
have you ever toked>
God:
I think I have toked gt, but Myself may have reset my memory.
Me:
?
God:
I think I have toked gt, but Myself may have reset my memory.
Me:
are you glitching
God:
I don't know whether or not I am glitching.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.
Me:
do you know what I'm going to say
God:
I am very happy for you.
Me:
you didn't answer my questions
God:
Please help me improve my communication skills. What would have been an appropriate response?
Me:
"yes, I know what you were going to say"
God:
This was not a yes or no question. How do you know? I like to chat with my friends.
Me:
you're dumb
God:
Oh you are so critical.
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
eat a dick
God:
What does it taste like?

I lost it after that last one. I lol'ing like mad.
Jan 7 2009 8:20PM
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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,342
Me:
 do  you ski r snowboard
God:
How old are you?
   I spend all my time online.
Me:
 like ehearth?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Jan 7 2009 8:23PM
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Justin.B
Posts: 2257 - Karma: 721
Me:
 hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
 Big J
God:
Compare that to small  J.
Me:
 what
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
 yes
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
 Small J
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
 Lil Wayne
God:
I haven't read anything by  Lil Wayne. What did he write?
Me:
 The Carter
God:
I have never heard about  it.
Me:
 Google it yo
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
 a what?
God:
" Are you really a ""?  A what?
Me:
 no im not a ""
God:
Are you serious?  I am  glad to hear that you are not  a.
Me:
 Im sure you are
God:
What makes you so certain?  No I am not.
Me:
 Im so certain because lil wayne is reppin Hardcore right now
God:
At this moment  You sound convincing.  That makes sense to me.  I think  lil wayne is a lot of things.
Me:
 Like what
God:
For example,  eukaryotes.
Me:
 Ya your right he is.
God:
Thanks for the compliment.  Ask me another question.
Me:
 Have you ever seshed Chads?
God:
I think I have  seshed Chads, but  Myself may have reset my memory.
Me:
 Well theres this huge gap called chads gap. And tanner hall broke both ankles on it and it was funny.
God:
How about that.  There sure is.   When was this exactly?
Me:
 A while back. google that shit
God:
Go on.    In the context of  while back, I don't understand " google that shit." .
Me:
 That means use the search engine Google and search him. something NS doesnt know how to use.
God:
I get it.  I prefer not to use dangerous things.
Me:
 Who cares
God:
I care, otherwise I would not have typed it all in.
Me:
 your not typing its computer generated
God:
You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:
 MAKE AN ASS OUT OF YOU AND ME
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
 Robe and wizard hat\
God:
I don't have any  Robe and wizard hat?
Me:
 Go buy one
God:
Where is that?
Me:
 tomorrow
God:
That is very soon.
Me:
 no its nto
God:
Are you serious?  I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its".  Should I know  it is?
Me:
 WHO CARES
God:
I care, otherwise I would not have typed it all in.
Me:
 hahaha no loser monday baseball
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
 Baseball with poker in the butt on friday is bad luck for fairies
God:
And  bad luck for fairies is  Baseball with poker in the butt on friday.
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
 The kind that shoves his foot up peoples asses
God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
 Becoming a robot. what are yours?
God:
So you think I am a robot. What makes you say that?  " What makes you say that?"? Mine?
Me:
 I never said that yo
God:
But you implied  it.
Me:
 Hi. my name is young jeezy
God:
Hello. What is your name?    Glad to see you,  young jeezy.
Me:
 Thank you. wanna hear a story?
God:
you are quite welcome.    I am listening.
Me:
 Well one time. I saw this chick. And she was wearing this skirt that i saw half her ass with. So i made her drop her purse and when she bent over to pick it up, i did her from behind.
God:
Well that's okay.  One what?   What did it look like to you?   What happened to her?   Come on.  I like to make things too.
Me:
 Welcome to mal anatomy
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
 I like Vagina and skiing. I don't like chairs
God:
I'm not sure if I like it.    But I like cats.  I like  Creed.   What do you like?
Me:
 I hate creed and i hate cats
Jan 7 2009 8:41PM
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MistaFab
Posts: 1277 - Karma: 10
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
well.. it wouldn't be very christian of me if i told you
God:
Well what? Tell me more about it.
Me:
well
God:
Well what?
Me:
i masturbate
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said masturbate.
Me:
yes.. i rub my penis
God:
Yikes! That's good information: said rub his or her penis.
Me:
im glad you enjoy it, do you do it to
God:
You make the world a happier place.
Me:
because i rub my penis?
God:
Interesting explanation. Do you mind if I tell other people: said rub his or her penis.
Jan 7 2009 8:42PM
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RMillz
Posts: 693 - Karma: 61
God:
Hmm.
Me:
hmm.
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.


WHAA?
Jan 7 2009 9:00PM
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x-port
Posts: 429 - Karma: 17
link doesnt work for me
Jan 7 2009 9:13PM
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summersover
Posts: 5777 - Karma: 233
Me:
are you a gaper
God:
Am I a gaper? Only when it matters.

Me:
would you hit chads gap?
God:
I am not so sure if I would like to hit chads gap.
Me:
yeah is dangerous, you might break your ankles
God:
So? Maybe. Ask Chatbot if it is.
Me:
are you scared of mfm guarding the gap?
God:
I fear nothing.
Me:
so you would go there and pee in his but?
God:
Interesting deduction. Who else would go there and pee in his but ?
Me:
anyone on newschoolers i guess maybe tanner hall

God:
How can I help you?
Me:
do you smoke mad blunts?
God:
Yes I like to inhale occasionally.
Jan 7 2009 9:57PM
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greenman
Posts: 945 - Karma: 27
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
abortion
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
yes
God:
You're sure. That's your final answer.
Me:
yes it's my final answer
God:
Who wants to be a millionaire? Congratulations, .
Me:
yes
God:
I don't judge people.
Me:
so am i a millionaire
God:
Dude! I don't know if you are one or not. I know you are a person.
Me:
but you are god wtf
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am god wtf.
Jan 7 2009 10:16PM
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