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PartyBullshiit
March, 2024

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Critique my school movie

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396222687862
Posts: 0 - Karma: 350
Hi guys, just wondering if you could throw me some critiquing for my movie for my advanced video class.

To watch, click the link. The password is jgraham. If you click the link it will be in HD.




http://www.vimeo.com/2488507
http://www.vimeo.com/2488507
http://www.vimeo.com/2488507
http://www.vimeo.com/2488507



The Edge from Ashley Coulthard on Vimeo.
Dec 11 2008 2:26PM
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VT_scratch
Posts: 8710 - Karma: 5,615
video is private holmes
Dec 11 2008 3:59PM
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396222687862
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type in the password..... thanks for reading.

Dec 11 2008 4:03PM
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KarmaInitiative
Posts: 2028 - Karma: 174
sick movie dude, if it was me, id add a close up on his face after he gets beat up. as for the story, maybe a gf breaking up would be better than gettin rejected by a random chick
Dec 11 2008 7:28PM
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396222687862
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i agree with the dead face. i really wanted to put a shot like that in. but we ran out of time, and scheduling with the actors.
Dec 11 2008 7:32PM
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KarmaInitiative
Posts: 2028 - Karma: 174
wait, does he die? i didnt get that, maybe something to clear that up.

i did a vid like this last year about drinking and driving, it ended with a car crash (i used dear sister music, a couple kids got it), than i had a shot of a classroom of sad kids. the principals talking on the intercom about the dead kid (my friend recorded it and i added it in to the video with an effect to make it sound like a pa), i dolly down a row of kids at desks to the friend of the kid who dies, than he puts his head down on his desk in sadness.
Dec 11 2008 7:37PM
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narwhal
Posts: 509 - Karma: 280
I only watched up until you died. It was, heavy.
Dec 11 2008 7:39PM
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396222687862
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yea he died. that sounds sick. thanks for the feedback
Dec 11 2008 7:44PM
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plainmaster2000
Posts: 83 - Karma: 13
Nice work, it was pretty well shot.
Agreed with the scene with the girl, pretty random and didn't make a whole lot of sense, if you re-did it would be a whole lot better.
Saw a video once were they faked an injection and it was pretty intense, if you can find someone who is diabetic, thats what they used.
The music fit well too.
Dec 11 2008 7:54PM
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396222687862
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thanks!
Dec 12 2008 11:40AM
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CS_Films
Posts: 468 - Karma: 466
I liked the angle choices as well as the lighting. The shots were well done. The script and acting were not amazing but concideering u guys are not actors. good work
Dec 12 2008 12:26PM
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396222687862
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we're definitely going to pick our next movies actors more carefully
Dec 13 2008 1:13PM
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396222687862
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lollerskating up to the top
Dec 15 2008 5:30PM
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.Brink.
Posts: 1622 - Karma: 188
great job! storyline was good and your lighting etc was good too.

I would have liked a little more camera movement tho, like panning and zooming, etc and maybe some handheld shots. and the acting was a little awkward, but not bad considering they are not actors.
Dec 15 2008 7:04PM
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dowalibeast
Posts: 3339 - Karma: 207
Not zooms, pans and tilts but not zooms.

Good product, but you needed a few more closeups and variations on shots.  The whole movie played out in wides and mediums, and it made the audience a bit disconnected.  Good work though.
Dec 15 2008 8:06PM
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JacJacqu
Posts: 246 - Karma: 98
I liked alot of the shots but try to use more variation.
Some close up shots, reaction shots and mix up your framing. get some wide shots to mix in with the medium shots.
Also it would be nice to have the pacing speed up a little at times. It will help to bring in the viewer and grab their attention.
Dec 15 2008 8:38PM
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396222687862
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thanks for all the tips guys, its really helping out. can't wait to get started on the next movie, and put all these suggestions into place
Dec 15 2008 8:59PM
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