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March, 2024

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Most rediculous thing your parents have said to you.

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Chief.Woodcock
Posts: 1018 - Karma: 158
Your friends can't come over, they use too much electricity


You can't walk across the golf course, the coyotes will eat you.
Nov 18 2008 6:45PM
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grifter
Posts: 933 - Karma: 102
Haha, almost as bad as my mom, when I left home to go to uni my mum took me shopping, I thought sweet free food for a week or so, we get to the checkout, and she makes me pay for it all... pfhhh.
Jan 2 2009 8:10PM
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NataliePortman
Posts: 1382 - Karma: 84
dad:matt, arent your mothers tits the best tits uve ever seen in your life and he proceeds to grab them
Jan 2 2009 9:13PM
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908
Posts: 716 - Karma: 11
^ sweet jesus, i would run and hide
Jan 2 2009 9:21PM
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Mooserz
Posts: 2945 - Karma: 32

Me: Mom!

no response

Me: Moommmm

still none

Me: MOOOMMMM!

Mom: Jamie shut the hell up! Go in your room and touch yourself or something!

Jan 2 2009 9:29PM
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Wis_Skier_23
Posts: 2263 - Karma: 245
nice icon
Jan 2 2009 9:59PM
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charmander
Posts: 10636 - Karma: 372
mom: your retarded
me:your moms retared
mom: your moms retarded
me: ...
Jan 2 2009 10:04PM
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sarahskis
Posts: 1587 - Karma: 41
Ugh!

Granted, my mama did take me shopping...and let me pack a huge box with food to take out
Jan 2 2009 10:09PM
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TechnoPotamus
Posts: 11626 - Karma: 3,522
mom- "what's wrong with you"
me- "i'm so hungover, i think i'm in slow motion today"
mom- "yeah well haven't you drank every day you've been home on break?"
me- "actually now that i think about it, yeah i have"
mom- "yeah well that's real reasonable smartass"
Jan 2 2009 10:16PM
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dmc12380
Posts: 3545 - Karma: 792
everytime i wear baggy shirts and jeans

Dad: "why you wearing your jeans so low i can see your ass, you know black men started that fad in jail so they could smuggle in guns and drugs."
Jan 2 2009 11:22PM
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7-11_Slurpee
Posts: 1142 - Karma: 1,552
Mom: weed should be legal. And cigs should be illegal.

Me: And how do u reason?

Mom: cuz weed gets joo highhh. and ciggs just suck ass.
Jan 2 2009 11:36PM
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notomatoplz
Posts: 1377 - Karma: 29
Baggy pants were a prison standard in the early 20th century... If inmates had access to belts, they would more than likely use them to beat the crap out of each other or hang themselves to death. Technologies like elastic helped fix this problem, but even today the style remains among homosexual inmates. They tend to wear their pants well below the hips, as this gives potential studs quick and easy access to their butt, and anyone can effortlessly reach inside and sample the tightness of their sphincter.
Jan 2 2009 11:51PM
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Moonlight
Posts: 905 - Karma: 18
Signature Worthy?
Jan 2 2009 11:58PM
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HenniferLopez
Posts: 1319 - Karma: 136
last year, my parents decided that mandatory drug testing was in store for me until I moved out of the house. so when the first test came around (I was about 99.9% sure I would pass) she goes to check it and says"...marijuana...positive...!" I'm like "no, mom. that is the example thing to show what it's suppose to look like if it was positive" she's like "oh.." then precedes to read the directions for another five minutes to make sure I'm not pulling the wool over her eyes. I just walked out shaking my head.
Jan 3 2009 12:10AM
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TheBeardedOne
Posts: 2286 - Karma: 58
when i got my harley my mom said to me "now you know that you can't drink and ride that thing.. it's much different than a car"


Jan 3 2009 1:53AM
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grifter
Posts: 933 - Karma: 102
I feel way out done.... I'm going back to Portsmouth today, (after all the fun of a family Christmas) I'm determined to get some free food out of this...
Jan 3 2009 5:06AM
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whattheshit
Posts: 6562 - Karma: 107
the best.
Jan 3 2009 6:34AM
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h_bar
Posts: 1611 - Karma: 506
the rents said the same thing to me, i just laugh of them and said that the shit they wore when they were young looked redic. they agreed and now they buy tall tees for me.
Jan 3 2009 8:45AM
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miralas
Posts: 584 - Karma: 10
"bend over"
Jan 3 2009 9:51AM
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Commonwealth
Posts: 3729 - Karma: 11
This ^ and prisons don't give a fuck if the inmate is 6'3" or 5'4", they all get the same jumpsuits.
Jan 3 2009 6:06PM
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uh_lis_uh
Posts: 609 - Karma: 16
my dad:"now i don't care if you have a friendship with Mary Jane. Just make sure its good stuff and you don't get caught with it."


convo prior to breakup
mom: "so how's the new boyfriend?"
me: "he's fine"
mom: did you guys have sex yet?"
me:"umm.... no! seriously mom?"
mom: "liar"

conclusion: my parents are nuts.
Jan 3 2009 6:46PM
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hellomynameisjef
Posts: 5794 - Karma: 167
dad: ben, im not gonna lie, i had sex in high school. a lot of sex. a lot of unprotected sex.
me: k thanks dad
Jan 3 2009 6:49PM
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Ben.
Posts: 21463 - Karma: 683
dude my names ben too!!!! high five for a good name!
Jan 3 2009 7:20PM
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c-j-s
Posts: 96 - Karma: 25
me and my dad having a argument

dad-you are guna get stabbed
me-i am going camping i wont get stabbed
dad-i am going to make a yourtube video about you and every one will laugh at it
me-dad its youtube
dad-aww shut up just go get stabbed
Jan 3 2009 8:45PM
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k-rob
Posts: 14217 - Karma: 2,891
dad - "your hair looks like you haven't brushed it in a month"
me - "my hair is an afro, there is no point in brushing it"
mom - "we all know the neighbour girls are just going to mess it up by the end of the day anyways"
dad - "well it's silly"
me - "you haven't shaved in four days, your face looks silly"
dad - "you wish you could grow a beard"
mom - "the neighbour girls would run away if he did"

my dad can be pretty ridiculous sometimes. 

 

Jan 3 2009 8:53PM
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babujib
Posts: 5039 - Karma: 104
hahahahah my mom says that to me all the time, everytime she meets a girl i know she goes "you hook up with her" "no mom" "wow you really are gay" thanks sue!
Jan 4 2009 12:04AM
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chitownskiier8
Posts: 399 - Karma: 24
haha same here, fuck my school. my parents say so many rediculous things i cant even remember. my dad always tells me i never do any work around the house, which is complete bullshit. i told them that i wanted to go to somewhere like colorado state for college, somewhere out west, and they said thats to far. well isnt that the point?
Jan 4 2009 12:08AM
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Flarestrike
Posts: 437 - Karma: 18

My brother had just taken half the bottle of solo, drinking it straight from the bottle so noone else could ahve any either...i proceeded to get pissed at him

Dad: Go grab a beer and chill out
Me: you're a stupid frickin drunk
Dad proceeded to laugh at me...the bastard

Jan 4 2009 7:28AM
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spen-cer
Posts: 1694 - Karma: 652
how has that not been changed or banned yet? hahha
Jan 4 2009 11:52AM
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grifter
Posts: 933 - Karma: 102
wooo, I got £50 ($100) of food out of her this time, I won't have to go shopping for a month, sooo much more money to spent on getting drunk now. haha
Jan 4 2009 1:02PM
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breezepig
Posts: 522 - Karma: 5
"you weren't smoking crack with that were you?" - my father
Jan 4 2009 1:45PM
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VCharette
Posts: 4276 - Karma: 1,047
is your mom a lesbian?
Jan 4 2009 1:50PM
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B-VUR
Posts: 1237 - Karma: 167
Parents: Why are your pants soo low? Thats just ridiculous, They're at your thighs.
Me: They're snowpants....
Parents: OMG I can see his ass.
Me: Those are my pants.
Parents: Why are you wearing them so low?
Me: Cuz I'm a tttttthhhhuuuuuugggggg
Parents: Whatever...walk away.
Jan 4 2009 1:53PM
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MikeWalsh
Posts: 486 - Karma: 13
So one day i was unstacking the dishwasher and putting cups away and my mum comes up to me and says

Mum- Please put all the cups away with the handles facing right in neet lines.
Me- Ok mother
Mum- I know its anal... but thats how i like it.


I walked off lauging at how shed said anal... then i realised about the rest.  Should of said "i know mum... thats how i like it to" if only id thought of it at the time.
Jan 4 2009 5:42PM
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sack
Posts: 4881 - Karma: 147
yes.

my brother also says weird things sometimes. he once called Marilyn Monroe "a nice piece of skirt." yeah... he's 20 years old, but he acts 50. I mean seriously.
Jan 19 2009 2:37AM
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mpaone4392
Posts: 143 - Karma: 9

Mom: Weed is worse than alcohol, and its illegal

Me: I don't think so, you can get alcohol poisoning and die, no one has ever overdosed on marijuana

that didnt turn out very well

Jan 19 2009 10:40AM
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sack
Posts: 4881 - Karma: 147
oh, um, wow.
Jan 23 2009 3:25PM
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k-rob
Posts: 14217 - Karma: 2,891
that's right, keep talking like a female! we can all understand you.
Jan 23 2009 3:31PM
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landonn
Posts: 2913 - Karma: 385
now that i think about it i only know three taylors and they are all way hot.
Jan 23 2009 3:54PM
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hellomynameisjef
Posts: 5794 - Karma: 167
e-five!
Jan 23 2009 4:49PM
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Dr.Scholl
Posts: 1139 - Karma: 47

Do the resorts close when it snows?- mom

please dont tell me your for real- me

Jan 23 2009 5:14PM
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E.C.
Posts: 3211 - Karma: 319
hahahahaha i laughed
Jan 23 2009 7:02PM
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Dainsey
Posts: 2263 - Karma: 378
my mom is always like wow michael that's an expensive coat or michael those pants are going to be waay to big
my answer
it aint easy bein steezy
Jan 23 2009 7:13PM
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SpiritualPlum
Posts: 129 - Karma: 14
Lol... story of my life
Jan 23 2009 7:14PM
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Willard
Posts: 5117 - Karma: 429

Mom at ross:That sweatshirt makes you look like a pregneat midget

Me:Mom its fucking 7 bloody edollos dollars

Jan 23 2009 10:57PM
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doublexl
Posts: 8407 - Karma: 26
that sounds like the perfect place to live.

and im a total bitter asshole so id fit right in....
Jan 23 2009 11:41PM
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jib_dat_sheaa
Posts: 22 - Karma: 10

"fuck you kid your a dick"

or

"son, you need to start doing your own laundry"

Jan 24 2009 4:42PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564

to have this make sense you need to know my parents age.  im 20, my dad is 70, 71 in august and my mom is 56.

this conversation occured probably two weeks ago....  (its about my current and first girlfriend, yes, i know, im pathetic)
"i want you to wait to finish college and shit before you know, you get married."-my dad
"yes, i know...  god, im not a fucking moron."-me
"but then again, dont wait as long as i did, it makes you look like a moron."-my dad
"so you want me to get her pregnant?"-me
"sure....  wait, what?"-my dad

Jan 24 2009 5:27PM
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BEARS.
Posts: 5380 - Karma: 696
hahahahahaha theres some really good shit in here. i wish i could come up with one right now.
Jan 24 2009 5:28PM
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HenniferLopez
Posts: 1319 - Karma: 136
Jan 24 2009 7:02PM
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