4 Hour Burn Cruise To Hartford

warning: it is recommended that you do not read this long, shitty, horribly written story with no point.

Yesterday, my friends (from Jersey) asked if I wanted to go to a Buju Banton concert in Hartford. I told them that Hartford is a ghetto ass city, but I was like what the hell, it should still be a good time.  We were thinking that we would get there, smuggle some weed in along with every one else, and dance with j's and blunts in hand, along with hundreds of other people, just chilling and listening to some sick reggae music.

We ended up leaving Kingston, RI around 5:30, smoking a couple j's and listening to reggae music to get souped for the concert. When we arrived in Hartford, the first thing we saw, was a bum with a sign, saying "will work for food". The second thing we saw was a guy trying to park people in his gas station for $20. He was at least 2 miles from the Connecticut Expo Center.

Once we were close to the expo center, we hit traffic that appeared to be heading towards the expo center also, so we were souped, thinking that there was going to be thousands of people there and that it would be a wicked good time. We were stuck at this 4 way intersection, which was backed up pretty damn far. Over at the corner, we saw a cop sitting on his ass, trying to control the lights inside his cruiser. As we were waiting for the cop to realize that he would have to get off his lazy ass and direct traffic himself, we looked over at the people in the lanes next to us and saw nothing, but middle-old aged white people in BMWs, Audies, Benzes, and such.

25 minutes later, we had finally arrived at the parking lot. Luckily, we were only charged $5 to park, but as my four white friends and I drove into the parking lot in Ryan’s huge 4 door pickup with Jersey plates, we were stared down by all of these black people in beater cars, but we just ignore them and continued to park. Once parked, we walked around to the front of the building and noticed that there were hardly any cars at all in the lot, but we just figured that a lot of people took the bus or some shit.
 
We then walked into the door, where there were 10 tables with 2 huge black men standing next to each. This is where we got molested. We were asked to empty our pockets and place our shit on the table. So we placed our wallets, phones, and lighters on the table (we had our j’s and blunts in the waste bands of our pants and in our shoes). Then the big black guys patted us down, grabbing our crotch and ass and other shit. So sketch, but we got over it because they didn’t find anything. So we then went to grab our phones, wallets, and lighters, but we looked back at the table, only to see our wallets and phones. Needless to say, we were pissed. We then figured that other people probably found a way to sneak theirs in, so we continue through the second set of doors.

Once inside, you could buy your tickets and walk onto the floor area, but as we looked at the floor, we saw that it was completely empty. There was 100 people at the most and it was 7:20. We were 20 minutes late because of the traffic. WTF. We weren’t about to pay $45 to chill with 50 sober black guys, who would stare at us the whole time. We had to make the shitty decision to save our money and get the fuck out of this shithole (this place was pretty much an empty warehouse with a stage). On the way out of the city, we saw a Subway sign, which we followed into a sketchy back alley with a Subway conveniently placed in the middle of it. Again, we said fuck it and instead rolled into a Quiznos a couple blocks away, which was surprisingly nice. At Quiznos, we bought some nice, big subs, then got the fuck out of Hartford.

On the way back home, we smoked some j’s, a blunt, and listened to some good music. Once we were back in RI, we realized that we had just gone on a 4 hour burn cruise to Hartford, during which we paid 5 dollars to get molested by big black men, who steal lighters, and $7 for an over priced sandwich. We didn’t get to see Buju Banton, but we ended up smoking 2 more blunts and j’s before we watched an old grenade snowboard movie.

spark notes: Hartford is a piece of shit.