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March, 2024

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I thought Canada was too cold for...

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BigJew
Posts: 6974 - Karma: 79
I thought Canada was too cold for killer death spiders of evil. Seriously, I live in the mountains of beautiful British Columbia, the only thing growing here should be weed, pine trees, and samsquanches.

I was taking a shit, and a fucking black widow climbs up the wall beside me. It was shiny black with a red hourglass and it scared the shit out of me. I didn't get a picture because it was dead faster than you could say Toilet Paper.

Then I open the door into my garage and dangling inches away from my head is this monstrosity. It's the biggest spider I've ever seen in Canada or the US and it explains the lack of the former fly infestation of my garage. It's pretty friendly and it cleaned up the garage so I'm going to let it live. I've named it Douglas.

Click for larger image

Click for larger image


That's my extra meaty pinky in there for size reference. The pictures are kinda blurry but the camera is a piece of shit and the garage is dark.
Aug 15 2008 1:29AM
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smooticus
Posts: 1798 - Karma: 27
fuck spiders. If i see them they die
Aug 15 2008 1:32AM
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samwise
Posts: 2592 - Karma: 36
There was a spider of that caliber in the Bahamas. We named him Derick and fed him flies and bees and stuff, he was such a badass.
Aug 15 2008 1:32AM
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Avifarer
Posts: 5926 - Karma: 598
I fucking hate spiders. If i saw that crawling up the wall i would have bolted out of the bathroom shitty ass and all.
Aug 15 2008 1:32AM
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Piste.Off
Posts: 11586 - Karma: 1,861
so you saw a black widow and put your finger right next to it for a comparison?
Aug 15 2008 1:34AM
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TechnoPotamus
Posts: 11626 - Karma: 3,522
reading comprehension is not your strongest area.
Aug 15 2008 1:36AM
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PHNMdesign
Posts: 731 - Karma: 68
They found 3 black widows here in quebec in the past two weeks in fruits frome Chile. It's not somthing we see everyday and i'm glad cuz i fucking hate spider too
Aug 15 2008 1:36AM
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Sholte
Posts: 2929 - Karma: 12
haha you named a spider! that might be the funnest thing i have heard all ++++karma for making me laugh.
Aug 15 2008 1:36AM
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Piste.Off
Posts: 11586 - Karma: 1,861
hmm you're right, but still.
Aug 15 2008 1:39AM
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k-rob
Posts: 14217 - Karma: 2,890
there's a few black widows in abbotsford, i know that. i like spiders, they're really helpful critters to have around. i used to have a pink-toed tarantula, he was really cool.
Aug 15 2008 1:53AM
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BigJew
Posts: 6974 - Karma: 79
Neither is picture comprehension.
Aug 15 2008 1:54AM
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BASS_PRO_SHOP
Posts: 1519 - Karma: 52
know how you feel. there was this giant 3ft. circular web always popping up between this tree and our shed. everyone kept walking through it and within hours it'd be back up. we finally found the beast. second picture wont send to email that shows its leg span so heres one.

Click for larger image
Aug 15 2008 2:20AM
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drewishish
Posts: 3710 - Karma: 23
me and a couple friends named a cinnapeed and a spider. put them in the bath tub, and two hours later our spider was eating our cinnapeed :( sad times. sad sad times.
Aug 15 2008 2:24AM
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popNfresh44
Posts: 3757 - Karma: 44
ive seen a few black widows here in vancouver...they are scary as fuck
Aug 15 2008 2:34AM
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Arabian.
Posts: 9632 - Karma: 54
are you serious? its centipede. are you 5 or joking?
Aug 15 2008 2:39AM
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inactive
Posts: 4772 - Karma: 97
even if he is serious, why are you so serious?
Aug 15 2008 7:17AM
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SKIDUBAIGUY
Posts: 3018 - Karma: 8
Check around your toilet, black widows are known to hide in toilets, dont want a black widow biting your ass. And im not joking.
Aug 15 2008 7:33AM
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bradcoffey
Posts: 582 - Karma: 31
it is going to kill you
Aug 15 2008 8:48AM
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Pipe_Munky
Posts: 10887 - Karma: 2,165
the vast majority of toilet black widow bites are not on the ass.
think about it, you sit down to drop a shit and something dangles in and invades your space. what do you think is going to get bitten.


as far as big ass spiders are concerned, we've got some huge dock spiders up at my cottage. we found one last weekend that was about half the size of my hand. hopefully i can get a pic of one this weekend.
Aug 15 2008 9:18AM
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Dustin.
Posts: 13839 - Karma: 7,704
no, not but still.  He didn't actually do what you said.
Aug 15 2008 9:30AM
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Bepo
Posts: 8195 - Karma: 17
I don't know what they are but down in my florida house we always see these huge ass spiders in the shed. No joke they're the size of my hand, and they always freak me out because i HATE spiders.

We also have rats that get in there, which is unfortunate for them because they all get eaten by the 5 ft long snake that also lives in there
Aug 15 2008 9:47AM
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andrew.
Posts: 2349 - Karma: 165
you should probably light that shed on fire.  it seems to be infested with the 3 worst things on the planet...
Aug 15 2008 11:13AM
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*rkp*
Posts: 8198 - Karma: 257
Because even though a certain level of idiocy is expected here on NS, his butchering of a rather simple word is aggravating.
Aug 15 2008 11:20AM
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Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
i heard a story about a white missionary staying on a farm in guatemala
he was taking his daily shower when unbeknown to him a scorpion crawled onto the inside of his towel
after he was all finished he grabs his towel and wraps it around his waist and PING
stung on the bare butt by a scorpion.
he proceeds to run out  of the bathroom screaming at the top of his lungs and giving a little "show" for the farmworker and his family
the white missionary caught the next flight out of the country
and the farmworkers children are still in counseling for seeing a naked white man

Aug 15 2008 11:21AM
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cousinmark
Posts: 939 - Karma: 29
CANADA COLD!!!umbadabadaba!!!!  word up!


http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=124603624



Aug 15 2008 11:31AM
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Dylan_
Posts: 9824 - Karma: 1,403
i have a phobia of that happening if im in a port a potty, either that or a snake.

but i've never seen a black widow but i hear their mad scary and real deadly
Aug 15 2008 11:38AM
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k-rob
Posts: 14217 - Karma: 2,890
what the hell is wrong with big spiders and 5-foot snakes? but i agree with you on the rats, rats are shit.
Aug 15 2008 1:23PM
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heFF
Posts: 5786 - Karma: 4,456
ughh i hate spiders
Aug 15 2008 1:42PM
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Scolson
Posts: 2904 - Karma: 92

aw damn I DID want to move to canada and the lack of creepy crawlies was a plus, but now I guess I have to go further north than previously planned.  Alaska?

Aug 15 2008 1:47PM
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BigJew
Posts: 6974 - Karma: 79
Apparently the black widows here aren't that dangerous. They don't get really big in Canada. A friend got bitten by one and he freaked the hell out and rushed to the hospital, he said it was the worst pain he'd ever felt through his whole arm but the doctors said that they didn't get big enough here to kill you. He was fine, apparently the big ones can temporarily paralize you with the worst pain ever through your entire body even if they don't kill you.
Aug 15 2008 1:55PM
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Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
i grew up in southern california and we had rattlers and black widows all over our yard
brown recluses too.
but those little guys are awesome cause the will actually hunt and kill a black widow that intrudes on it's hunting ground
Aug 15 2008 2:52PM
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kepler.
Posts: 8761 - Karma: 139
30 posts in and no one has realized that the spider isn't a black widow?

Click for larger image
Aug 15 2008 2:54PM
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kepler.
Posts: 8761 - Karma: 139
^haha fail on my part. I guess I didn't read clearly enough.
Aug 15 2008 2:54PM
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k-rob
Posts: 14217 - Karma: 2,890
ahhh, but you've proved you can't read.
Aug 15 2008 2:54PM
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MC_POUTINE
Posts: 1380 - Karma: 115
damn dude youre real stoked on this spider
Aug 15 2008 2:56PM
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hael
Posts: 571 - Karma: 15
fuck i hate spiders so much

Aug 15 2008 4:46PM
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Bob_Gnarley
Posts: 1583 - Karma: 0
hmm. death spiders, lets go put our finger right by its face. lol
Aug 15 2008 4:57PM
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Peter.
Posts: 23796 - Karma: 13,012
anyone notice the smile on the original post's spiders back

kinda creepy

i fucking hate spiders
Aug 15 2008 5:06PM
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gordie.
Posts: 2014 - Karma: 84
you as well as many others obviously skipped reading the entire thread and also skimmed through the first post
Aug 15 2008 5:12PM
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Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
my friend got bit in the hand by a baby rattler.

Aug 15 2008 5:16PM
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freestyler540
Posts: 13044 - Karma: 18,270
I know black widows are getting popular due to the warming weather in Canada. The worst spider for me is the big orange one...it has a huge ass and when you break the web, it cracks
Aug 15 2008 7:10PM
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PacificRimJob
Posts: 24703 - Karma: 29,680
I swear... probably us Californians, as well as the Australians are the only people that are typically not a pussy around spiders, and other deadly creatures of evil and death and blackness.

Mainly because we have all the poisonous snakes, and deadly spiders, and rabid animals.


I say California, Africa, and Australia join forces, and take over the world by unleashing our deadly wildlife into people's houses. It could be fun!
Aug 15 2008 7:20PM
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FuMang
Posts: 57 - Karma: 10
spiders suck, there are too many insects in the world, something like 98% of all living things are insects
Aug 15 2008 8:13PM
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Elg
Posts: 2998 - Karma: 3,880
I hate spiders, but they do get rid of a lot of other creepy bugs.
Aug 15 2008 8:30PM
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FUUUCK
Posts: 18426 - Karma: 4,888
I never knew black widows lived that far north west.



Dock spiders scare the shit out of me, I never knew we had spiders that big in ontario until I went on a canoe trip when i was 12.
Aug 15 2008 8:42PM
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freestyler540
Posts: 13044 - Karma: 18,270
Holy fuck dock spiders are huge and vicious
Aug 15 2008 9:29PM
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k-rob
Posts: 14217 - Karma: 2,890
i would welcome them.
Aug 15 2008 9:31PM
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[~_~]
Posts: 20239 - Karma: 1,273
spiders are rad.
Aug 15 2008 9:34PM
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Jwalk
Posts: 4647 - Karma: 134
i have a black widow we keep in my garage im in bc too
Aug 15 2008 10:17PM
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Pippin
Posts: 4846 - Karma: 661
dude, you have no idea, on our floating dock has a fucking colony, needless to say, i dont use it much
Aug 15 2008 10:18PM
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Bab.
Posts: 766 - Karma: 22
what will you say when youll meet my friend the grizzly?
Aug 15 2008 10:41PM
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