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Found some bad news out?? Help
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So ive been dating a girl for three months now and we hang out al the time she is amazing well like to months ago she said that she was inappropriately touched and i was like ok i guess its not that bad well she hinted to more and i dint catch on. Then yesterday she said she was raped and i cant stop thinking about it, anyone been here before?? does anyone hav advice on this anything??
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well first of all she needs to report it. and usually people who have been raped get problems and stuff like she may begin to not trust guys so she should probably get help for that like a therapist or something.
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You're probably not going to have the most appropriate of answers when asking NSG, so I'd recommend getting an invite to Ladies Men. There you'll be able to talk about your issues without a bunch of 14 year olds calling you gay.
With that said, it sounds like you are a good enough person who cares about her feelings. This is a really touchy subject and you've got to be real delicate when talking to her about it. My suggestion would be to sit her down alone and just talk to her. Tell her that you respect her and adore her and would never do anything to hurt her. Tell her you're going to spend every second you have letting her know that there are good guys in this world who treat women with dignity and that you are one of them. Tell her you'll go at her pace when it comes to sex because you know that its quite a different thing for her than you because of what she went through.
To sum it up, just be a good guy and not a douchebag and if she still turns from you then there is nothing you could have done in the first place.
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Well it was 2 years ago so cant do anything and i have done everything in the secound post but really talk about it i suggested therapy and she said it would never happen, but i dont want to bing it up i told her if she wants to talk bout it we can
++Karma ty
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be there for her. research the topic a bit too to see what types of options she has.
definitely a fucked situation. all you can do is be the best support system you can be and help her out. not much else you can really do, except find and beat down the guy.
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Lol working on where he live i know its in detroit so i got a 3 hour ass-whoopin drive coming up
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one last bump i could use some more ideas
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ok one more im dont i swear
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she keeps talking abput it so its clearly still affecting her. If u do find out where he lives she may and this this is a big if go and c him or talk to him or beat the shit outa him. it mays serve as revenge for her
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Thats some heavy shit bro. I would just tell her what you feel is right. Then i would find the Motherfucker who did that and cut his fuckin balls off.
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that's so horrible,
just what everybody else has said, be really calm around her all the time, if she ever needs somebody to talk to, try to help her out
if she doesn't want therapy, that's her choice, but she's gotta try to forget it
go to the police, tell em who did it etc, then go fucking whoop his ass with a fat posse
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tell her it can only make her stronger
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talk to her about it since she obviously trusts you enough to have come to you in the first place, as other people have said. Try as hard as you can (VERY delicately and respectfully of course) to convince her to go to the police, especially if she know's the guy who did it. Even if it has been two years since it happened, it may offer her some closure and in any case, the guy deserves to be getting ass raped in prison for the rest of his life.
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just have a night where you really really talk about it, even if its uncomfortable just so she knows that you understand the situation as much as you can so in the future she can bring it up with you if she so needs to.. but after that just try to not bring it up unless she does. its something she'll never forget but she certainly doesnt need to be reminded
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exactly sit down, on some one-on-one time, and approach the issue not with as little as bias as possible, show her your strength but not like rampage killer attitude towards the guy, respectful of her emotions as there bound to be some, and have a lot of patience, situations like these are not easy for either party, so take it at her speed. Good luck man.
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that is terrible. you know you should report that son. that is terrible
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thanks to everone one more q though, what will happen after 2 years if she does turn him in will they do anything even
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no advise but my ex girlfriend claimed to be raped after we broke up, long story dont want to get into it, anyway i threatened the kid that did it, than got kicked out of school, it was cool
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just be there for her and only talk about it if shes comfortable with it
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be there for her, and dont let her know that you posted it on a forum board...rofl
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um...guys whats going on here.
REPORT IT. She may need medical attention/testing, no not just for DNA or evidence, she may need therapy, etc, and the cops might be able to persue it. Dont try to figure it out by yourself.
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its been 2 years though what can they do?
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i could have sworn there was a thread just like this a couple of months ago..
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wow.
well, first of all, like people said, it sounds like you're the first person she's told about this, and if it took her two years to tell anyone about it, she's obviously going to need a LOT of support. She really needs to report it, but at her own pace, no pressure. Don't do anything like telling authorities or people who would confront her with out her knowing, because that'd probably make her trust you less.
again, like everybody said, lots of support, be slow, be understanding, don't do anything to break fragile trust. i don't have any idea how she's feeling about contact right now, but when i need to feel safe, i think a nice big, warm hug is a good idea. just wrap your arm around her and tell her you're going to help and keep her safe.
i have no idea what i'm talking about, but i hope everything is okay eventually.
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