Ok you all ready for this?
Here we go:
It was a rainy day on dec 22 in ottawa.... it was raining on top of 120 cm of snow which fell during the previous 2 days. It would have been tragic if I wasn't at the airport boarding a plane to Cancun! Flying over the Earth, I get a sense of how truly large the planet is, and I have trouble believing that it is all under imminent threat from Human impact... I just dont see how such a vast space (mostly devoid of humans) can be corrupted so completely. It gives me hope for the future. There is still time, We still have a chance. But alas, I am headed on my "Right to a vacation" in M exico. Yes I am the enemy, and I am damn well going to enjoy it! I am headed there with my 17 yr old brother, and my mom n dad. I am 24 btw. We arrive and get on a bus which drives us to our hotel... Which is the last one on the strip, closest to the city..
(Cancun is kind of surreal, it exists in its own right with it's own rules)
We don't see any mexicans on the street, everyone is white (mostly...) the only mexicans there, work there. (Sweet friggin job)
We are staying at the Holiday Inn.
It is full of mexican and spanish families. we picked the hotel where they come for their vacations.
So heres some info about cancun:
- You get a bracelet for your hotel which allows you to drink and eat for free at the hotel.
- There are 15 super clubs in cancun.
- everything is on the same small strip of land, so theres no way to get lost, there is only 1 street.
- Each night a different club is promoted by the hotels, and theres 2 nights per club, so you have to go to the busy ones, or you will walk into a dead super club.
-Coco Bongo's has to fill every night to 1300 people. If, at midnight they havent filled it, the price to get in drops from 45$ to 25$.
- Bracelets let you drink for free inside the clubs, but you still have to tip your server to get service.
- There are 2 rules in Cancun: No fighting and no pissin on the streets. DO NOT BREAK THESE RULES
Ok, thats about it for info..
So I go to Senor Forgs my 1st night. They have swings for barstools, a pool bar inside, and a waterslide that dumps you into the ocean. They also have this thing where they lift girls up by their ankles above the bar, spin them around and then use CO2 to blow their clothes off. And it works. This chicks panties blew right off, it was hot.
Then we went to coco bongo's, which is just ridic. They have showgirls dancing above the dance floor, dressed up and dancing to Gwen Stefani's Moulin Rouge video. Then Michael Jackson appears and ziplines across the dance floor, and unclips on the bar in the middle of the dance floor. Then The Mask comes out and starts doing all sorts of wacky things. Then giant baloons are released and start getting smacked back and forth. Then the confetti cannons, smoke machines, strobe lights, and CO2 cannons blast us until our senses are overloaded.
But don't think youre going to meet your soulmate here, its too loud to talk, and it only matters what you are wearing and how well you can grind. Thats all u got to pick up.. that just aint my style..
Ok. So some more info:
- I don't have any $, my parents brought me here broke. Then they try to give me a lesson about money. Picked a helluva a spot for a lesson on money.... So i get 20$ a day. not even half of cover charge. I have to borrow $ from these american dudes who are staying at our hotel. I went out every night.
Theres this other club, called the Beach Club. Its all outside on a beach, with an oceanside pool, and there are 40 or so veiled beds to romp on. (you have to buy a bottle to get a bed = 150$)
Im trying to find a spot to sit while i drink, and these dick employees keep kicking me out of my seat, saying "reserved, reserved" .. they even drag the table away im standing at. FUcking dicks.
So I made friends with the people who it was reserved for, and it was all good.
So my brother is with me.
here comes the good stuff:
So all of us are out one night (the americans and us, about 10 of us) and my bro dissapears. outside the club, I meet this chick, she was #3 in the bikini contest inside. She looks at me, and i can tell it's on. So I ask her to come back to my hotel. She asks how old I am, and then says ok. Sweet. She has a friend who likes my friend, so we all go back to the hotel for a dip in the ocean. We are walking out on the pier 9the 2 of us) and we are supposed to meet up with her friend down there. We dont see them, but when we get to the end of the pier, they are fucking on the steps into the oocean. Ha ha, surprise!
so that was a good night. But remember.. my bro is still missing, and he has no $...
So im in my hotel room, enjoying my night with #3, and its approaching 7 am.
No bro.
All of a sudden he walks in and says "I need you to pay for my cab, it's out front" I have no $ so I tell him to go knock on the americans door and ask them to pay. They do. Good guys, I gotta mail them some cash.
So who wants to know what happened to my brother?
To Be Continued..........
