I laid in bed around 2:30 AM, unable to fall asleep due to the severe lack of sleep from the previous night’s effort to complete all end of term assignments. As what often happens when I cannot sleep, my mind runs wild thinking about anything and everything. I felt a slight drowsiness come upon me right before I came across one last thought. My brain raced and my stomach churned with butterflies as I set my mind to the subject which I often ponder about, life. Regardless the number of times I think around life and the existence of matter, I still get that same feeling. Fear and the unease about the questions which contain no answer. I sat dumb stuck thinking about the universe and the existence of my life and my evitable death. No matter how hard I tried, no sort of comprehension could harness the thoughts regarding the start and end of matter and how that one infinitesimal particle came about to perform the “big bang”. That one piece of matter that created every planet, sun, person and particle of dust we know. My mind was crippled, but in not in a painful way. In my younger and less wise days, I would often get very frightened and scared when thinking these thoughts. Chills growing up my spine as I thought about these questions and my ultimate mortality. However today I have a very different outlook. I think of these things and just have to laugh at how truly incredible they are. While I still get the butterflies in my stomach when pondering these subjects, the pure beauty of life and these questions will eventually subdue them. How incredible it is to wonder about these endless hallways of thought. Questions that neither science nor religion can solve, ones that truly don’t need answers. I feel the unobtainable thirst for knowledge regarding our existence is what really makes life beautiful. I see nature personified as Da Vinci’s Mona Lisa, mysteriously smiling at our never ending questions about life, all while holding the answers we so dearly seek behind that grin. When one thinks of these questions, a very humbling view upon life can develop. The realization that we are nothing more than a blimp on the radar and that our lives are meaningless in the grand scheme of things. Only when you come to this recognition can you build a meaningful worthy life. I could sit here and preach about ethics and morality, but it is up to the individual to come up with their own conclusions. Think about the decisions you face everyday. Analyze your life and assess if this is how you want to live your life. Develop a meaningful life!
(Note I am an atheist and would like to share how important life is and how idiotic the dedication of a REAL life toward obtaining an afterlife is!!!)