This is the genuine article folks!
Before there were yonkels, before there was the "shlare," there was Shane.
I first spied him accross a crowded ski area, bored and picking his nose at the Volant vendor's booth.
Feeling a bit timid, scared, and humbled, I pulled up my powder pants, cleaned the spot where my bota bag leaked grain alcohol onto my puffy jacket, settled my cowboy hat on to my head, and heel-toed my way to the tent.
That's when I saw it...the SHANE MC CONKEY [bendable] HUCK DOLL!! My [entire] body quivered with excitement, and I think I may have leaked a little more from my bota bag because I noticed, well that's not important-- What's important is that I was now holding, and purchasing a GENUINE, FIRST EDITION (I think) BENDABLE ORIGINAL Huck doll of the Father of Free Skiing himself. PAIN MC SCHLONKEY!
No sooner had I taken my receipt from the cashier, I turned around only to find the sea of people seeming to part between me and where Mr Cliff Huckstable sat on his throne (which I gotta say looked a lot like a red plastic saucer?). I summoned all of my courage and looked up, and suddenly found my self in an eyelock with my huck doll idol, Shane McConkey. I'd seen him in the movies, I'd heard of his exploits, but standing there in the Volant booth, we shared a moment that MSP could never capture on film. Shane beckoned for me to come to him and I did, our eyes locked in a constant stare. I gave the old Texas cowboy hat tip salute thing, and before I could get out "I'm your biggest fan," Shane winked at me, and in a low sultry voice, said "Do you want me to sign that doll...of ME for you cowboy?" I almost melted right there, despite the 28 degree temperature.
As you can see in the above pictures, Shane's signature is clearly visible across the unopened package, which comes complete with Skis, poles, and a helmet for added safety.
You can also see the uncanny resemblance between the doll and Shane!
***A note of warning for the buyer: There is a warning on the package that says that children under 4 years old can choke on Shane's [doll] small parts...don't say I didn't warn you.
Anyhow, after the signature, he hands me back the doll, right... and I sh*t you not, his hand brushed up on my glove, and left a buch of BBQ sauce on it. I might put that up in another auction, so keep your eyes peeled! I think it's like a smoky hickory or something.
Walking away from the Volant booth, I realized all of a sudden that I could probably get him to sign my other gear as well! so I ran ten feet to the ski rack, grabbed my gay blades, and ran back to the Volant tent, and Shane was gone...vanished into thin air, only an empty red saucer sitting where just a heartbeat ago, I touched his glove--and he touched... the depths of my soul.
So as you can see, this item has great sentimetal value to it, and I expect the buyer to treat it with the same reverence and care that I have.
