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Post-a-joke

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toominator
Posts: 4792 - Karma: 120
Well you get the idea, post jokes for others to enjoy.. share the love!

A kiwi bloke walks into a tearoom (oldschool cafe type thing, common in rural NZ) and asks the owner what the menu is.
He replys "we've got cheese rolls for $3 pies for $5 burgers for $8 and handjobs for $10".

The kiwi bloke goes up to the counter, where a hot blonde girl is serving. He asks "are you the girl that does the handjobs?" She nods and smiles. The kiwi bloke says "Ok, well wash your hands and make me a burger"
Oct 16 2007 4:43AM
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yelsel
Posts: 12967 - Karma: 3,451
An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day. The daughter said to her mother, "My hands are freezing cold." The mother replied, "Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm them up." The daughter did, and her hands warmed up. The next day, the daughter was riding with her boyfriend who said, "My hands are freezing cold." The girl replied, "Put them between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm them up." He did and warmed his hands. The following day, the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter. He said, "My nose is cold." The girl replied, "Put it between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm it up". He did and warmed his nose. The next day the boyfriend was again driving with the daughter, and he said, "My penis is frozen solid." The following day the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother again, and she says to her mother, "Have you ever heard of a penis?" Slightly concerned the mother said," Why, yes...?! Why do you ask?" The daughter replies: "They make one hell of a mess when they defrost, don't they?! "
Oct 16 2007 10:56AM
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Ryanvdonk
Posts: 12808 - Karma: 1,945
what do you call cheese that's not yours?

nacho cheese
Oct 16 2007 12:14PM
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Ryanvdonk
Posts: 12808 - Karma: 1,945
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Zero, they just sit and cry in the dark.


How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a light bulb?
27, 1 to do it, 2 to say they can do it better, and 24 to sit in the landing.
Oct 16 2007 1:21PM
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TheButterHashira
Posts: 9691 - Karma: 1,702
yo momma joke

Yo mommas so easy a cave man could do her.
Oct 16 2007 3:09PM
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toominator
Posts: 4792 - Karma: 120
Whats the difference between the All Blacks and a tea bag?

A tea bag stays in the cup longer.
(have to follow rugby to get that one)
Oct 16 2007 4:37PM
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Piste.Off
Posts: 11586 - Karma: 1,861
why does helen keller masteurbate with one hand??


cause she has to moan with the other.


Oct 16 2007 8:03PM
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Ryanvdonk
Posts: 12808 - Karma: 1,945
yo mama's so ugly, if she stands on the tracks the train will take a dirt road.
Oct 18 2007 1:53PM
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toominator
Posts: 4792 - Karma: 120
Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella?

To stop the drizzle, ma nizzle!
Oct 18 2007 3:31PM
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emiller
Posts: 150 - Karma: 81
Q: What do blondes and Jack-O-Lanterns have in common?
A: Both have blank expressions and are hollow inside.


Q: What do you call a guy turned on by a witch?
A: Scared stiff.
Oct 31 2007 5:19AM
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Shpadoinkle
Posts: 10437 - Karma: 84
From House:

Yo' Momma's so fat, when her beeper goes off, people think she's backin' up...
Oct 31 2007 2:48PM
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