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March, 2024

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Hit Jesus in my car

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Ruski
Posts: 1872 - Karma: 11
wow. so i my neighbor was having a yard sale (we share the begining of our driveway). i went in reverse to get out went to change the song on my cd player and didnt notice that there was a statue of Jesus (christmas style with a solid heavy base). needless to say Jesus isnt doing too well and i now have a dent in my car...im reconsidering my stance as a holiday only christian
Sep 7 2007 7:37PM
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GatoGordo
Posts: 1496 - Karma: 10
Its because you are a chick.
Sep 7 2007 7:46PM
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[]Soul_Steeze[]
Posts: 2357 - Karma: 60
haha yea


why shouldnt women drive cars?































cuz thers no road between the bedroom and the kitchen
Sep 7 2007 7:51PM
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doublexl
Posts: 8407 - Karma: 26
yeah thats prolly eut it iz.
Sep 7 2007 7:51PM
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timmi
Posts: 12874 - Karma: 3,460

jesus probably didnt like the way his ass looked in that statue anyway. you should be fine.

Sep 7 2007 7:54PM
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sktrkdo7
Posts: 1920 - Karma: 182
BURN
Sep 7 2007 7:55PM
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freestyler540
Posts: 13045 - Karma: 18,292
Well, look on the bright side...Jesus is quite fragile...unlike you

Sep 7 2007 9:07PM
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Shadows
Posts: 8068 - Karma: 42
maybe this time hes really dead
jk lol
Sep 7 2007 9:10PM
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Quinn
Posts: 1428 - Karma: 16
Well now that you've killed him you're going to have to:
1)Find some nice white cloth to wrap him in.
2)Find some giant stone tomb and put him in it.
3)Roll some heavy ass stone in front of the opening.
4)Write a 1000 page fiction novel on how your statue mysteriously came to life and moved the giant stone out of the way then floated away.
5)Have half the modern world believe your story in 2000 years.
Sep 7 2007 9:24PM
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eheath
Posts: 61100 - Karma: 118,256
I couldn't have said it any better. Well i could have changed "chick" for "dumb bitch".
Sep 7 2007 9:26PM
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Mezmerize19
Posts: 6475 - Karma: 18
And with that comment Satan is getting ready for some buttsex when you go to hell
Sep 7 2007 9:41PM
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freestyler540
Posts: 13045 - Karma: 18,292
lol

Sep 7 2007 9:57PM
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Mod
Posts: 3179 - Karma: 11
Ex 1.

Why Heath has no girlfriend.
Sep 7 2007 9:59PM
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StanMcStanson
Posts: 2772 - Karma: 1
pick of destiny lol
Sep 7 2007 10:38PM
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eheath
Posts: 61100 - Karma: 118,256
Pff you dont know me.
Sep 7 2007 10:41PM
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jimmychung
Posts: 6857 - Karma: 25
Jesus forgives all. you're lucky, i would've kicked your ass if you hit my statue.
Sep 7 2007 10:53PM
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anxju
Posts: 9371 - Karma: 61
yous fucked
Sep 7 2007 10:56PM
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Quinn
Posts: 1428 - Karma: 16
http://youtube.com/watch?v=jwTkohnKxeI
Sep 7 2007 11:01PM
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Upgrayedd
Posts: 620 - Karma: 25
Yep - Hell for sure. I think it is somewhere in the Old Testement - Thou shalt not run over the Christ figure yest ye be damned to fire and brimstone, forever. Amen.
Sep 7 2007 11:14PM
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R.Z.A.
Posts: 778 - Karma: 11
prepare for mad bad karma
Sep 7 2007 11:19PM
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duhamelski
Posts: 3842 - Karma: 192
oh shit u should confess
Sep 7 2007 11:23PM
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TheButterHashira
Posts: 9691 - Karma: 1,702
step 6 have some blasphemous asshole make fun of you on a skiing site
Sep 7 2007 11:26PM
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Upgrayedd
Posts: 620 - Karma: 25
I don't know if God is going to be very forgiving about this kind of shit - you might be in for plagues and all sorts of Biblical motherfuck.
Sep 7 2007 11:28PM
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Quinn
Posts: 1428 - Karma: 16
HAhahah wow bro.
Sep 8 2007 12:53AM
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purplejumpsuit
Posts: 2207 - Karma: 157
bahahahha

its the only way to go
Sep 8 2007 12:58AM
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mattster
Posts: 4120 - Karma: 41
rofflskates!
Sep 8 2007 1:00AM
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404404
Posts: 11358 - Karma: 21,033
bitchs just cant drive...
Sep 8 2007 11:12AM
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[]Soul_Steeze[]
Posts: 2357 - Karma: 60
dude your so lost...

i feel bad for you, but thn again i dont cuz you just insulted the heck outa christ by calling him a liar and callin the bible a fiction novel.


Sep 8 2007 12:14PM
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*monsterskier*
Posts: 2671 - Karma: 61
not funny and not amusing
Sep 8 2007 12:29PM
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fourhundred
Posts: 2760 - Karma: 21
I laughed
Sep 8 2007 12:42PM
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comeatmebro
Posts: 10720 - Karma: 66
hahahahahahahahahahaha oh man i fucking lost it. ive never heard this one and it is $$$$
Sep 8 2007 1:11PM
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jayamait
Posts: 2567 - Karma: 1,347
you'll be fine. he was never even real, so it's no different than hitting a clown statue.
Sep 8 2007 2:50PM
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TheButterHashira
Posts: 9691 - Karma: 1,702
jesus was a real person. christians worship him, muslims acknowledge him as a prophet. hindus believe he was someone special. scholars agree he most likely existed. you are in the minority in your belief in him never existing. whether or not he was the son of god is debatable but he was a person who walked the earth. I don't have a problem with anybody who believes god isnt real but when athiests get their elitist attitude and make fun of religion that really makes me mad. Its considered the politically correct thing to respect other peoples beliefs just as you would respect a persons race, nationality, sex, sexual orientation but some athiests still feel the need to go on the internet and defame peoples respective gods.
Sep 8 2007 3:01PM
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[]Soul_Steeze[]
Posts: 2357 - Karma: 60
its just a joke

















sry to any girls on NS that are offended...


the only reason im appologizin to NS girls is cuz theyr the only ones that dont deserve to get ragged on bc of thier driving...

they ski so thier alright in my book.
Sep 8 2007 4:17PM
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.makuma.
Posts: 2258 - Karma: 43
pics or it didnt happen
Sep 9 2007 12:18AM
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mizzike
Posts: 1386 - Karma: 251
Ex 2.

https://newschoolers.com/web/content/pictures/id/145395/
Sep 9 2007 12:37AM
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dave44
Posts: 11052 - Karma: 113
female driver. end of stpry
Sep 9 2007 8:59AM
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sacchettiadam
Posts: 2930 - Karma: 31
feminist would not like this thread
Sep 9 2007 9:57AM
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HeathR
Posts: 4357 - Karma: 1,379
harsh
Sep 9 2007 10:15AM
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TheButterHashira
Posts: 9691 - Karma: 1,702
thats what you believe but no matter what you offend alot of people and thats why most people who believe in god dont like athiests because you feel the need to be complete buttholes
Sep 9 2007 12:47PM
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scientist
Posts: 6920 - Karma: 347

Epic thread.

Sep 9 2007 12:51PM
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SkierX
Posts: 16253 - Karma: 538
BAM!
Sep 9 2007 12:59PM
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TheButterHashira
Posts: 9691 - Karma: 1,702
its just pretty rude to be blasphemous of other peoples gods. you wouldnt go to the mall and scream "jesus titty fucking christ" would you?
Sep 9 2007 12:59PM
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TheButterHashira
Posts: 9691 - Karma: 1,702
wow. whatever we agree to disagree im just gonna drop it
Sep 9 2007 1:17PM
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StanMcStanson
Posts: 2772 - Karma: 1
nice!
Sep 9 2007 1:47PM
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ZBDesign
Posts: 187 - Karma: 355
why are women such bad drivers....








cuz u dont need a stearing to work an oven...

Click for larger image
Sep 9 2007 2:35PM
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mtbakerteacher
Posts: 4185 - Karma: 20
Was he a real person?
http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com/ Watch section 1, the rest is political, but the movie juuuust points out a few similarities, plagarisms, and astrological connections. ;)
Sep 9 2007 2:45PM
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TheButterHashira
Posts: 9691 - Karma: 1,702
i watched it twice. the first time i was open minded and the second time i fact checked different sources. it was mostly bullshit. kind of like some loose evidence glued together by blatant lies
Sep 9 2007 3:09PM
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mtbakerteacher
Posts: 4185 - Karma: 20
Yes. The christianity stuff is very factual actually, and the last section talking about our self-perpetuating debt is true. The 9/11 thing, however convincing it may be is too late to do anything about sadly, even if it were true, and kind of takes away some of the credibility of the movie.
Sep 9 2007 3:50PM
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Quinn
Posts: 1428 - Karma: 16
This is exactly what i find so amusing about devout christians. Because if you don't believe in their God, it's all: "You're so lost", "You haven't been saved yet" , "You need to find Jesus" and so on. Real classy.
Sep 9 2007 4:57PM
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Sno.
Posts: 12155 - Karma: 6,147
that's a really bad omen.
Sep 9 2007 4:59PM
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