Today I was pumping gas and I was bored and reading MaxiM. They had some jokes...this was fucking hilarious:
A girl has recently become blind from a horific car wreck and is in distress. She asks 'Mommy, will I ever be able to see again?'
Her mother replies 'Yes hunny, the doctor says it's temporary. Tomarrow we'll get some cream for your eyes that will enable you to see again.'
Following a trip to the store the mother applies the cream and wrappes the young girls head in a bandage. The next morning the child runs into her mothers room for her to remove the wrappings. After the bandage had been removed the girl says 'Mommy, I still can't see'
Her mother replies 'I know hunny, APRIL FOOLS!'
I'll tell you where...someplace warm...a place where the beer flows like wine...where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of capastrano...I'm talkin' about a little place called Asssspennnnn...