well i have one, but promise not to steal it, its my fallback plan for life. its like compression shorts with replaceable condoms and condom lining around the package, so that way you dont get stds on the rest of your genitas where a normal condom doesnt cover.
also the envelope idea is freaking genious
"It is simply that we can all be good boys and wear our letter sweaters around and get our little degrees and find some nice girl to settle, you know, down with... take up what a friend of ours calls the hearty challenges of lawn care... Or we can blaze! Become legends in our own time, strike fear in the heart of mediocre talent everywhere"