The Try To Be Funny Thread

i rate your joke a 0 mistiskier because you have no joke

Member of the, 'lets help Sam loose some weight so he can possibly get a girl Club'.

Well then I rate you a 0 too NH-LiNe.


Would you like freedom fries with that?

ohh i got one, its a poem a wrote about NH_Line in one of his threads like a month ago. it goes like this.

NH_Line is really gay
he just wasted a minute of my day.
im gonna rape his sister tonight
and his mom i just might.
im gonna stick it in their bums
it will be so much fun.
They will cry out for help
but ill just choke em with my belt
then ill go and smoke some crack
and bury thier bodies out in the back
-paul


'WHY aren't you having anything to drink!? Choooose one making you better feeling!'
-Tom Green

'Is Mike Nick and Mike Wilson the same people?'
-//d-lite//

-Member of the OTC-

i give u 0 for wasting my tiem readinf that sonast or whoever u are
---------------------------
THE POWER IS YOURS

Our world is in peril. Gaia, the Spirit of the Earth, can no longer stand the terrible destruction plagueing our planet. She sends five magic rings to five special young people: Kwame, from Africa, with the power of Earth. From North America, Wheeler, with the power of Fire. From Eastern Europe, Linka, with the power of Wind. From Asia, Gi, with the power of Water. And from South America, Ma-Ti, with the power of Heart. When the five powers combine, they summon Earth's greatest champion, Captain Planet!

i rate that a 2 snonasty


===========================


'My sister is 14 and id fuck her'-- *Neil

heres my joke,

Snownasty is real gay,
he takes it up the but once, twice, hell three times a day,
then what does this flamin gay say,
I TAKE IT UP THE BUT EVERYDAY!!!

that version is better, now harvey please kill this thread haha

Member of the, 'lets help Sam loose some weight so he can possibly get a girl Club'.

aight. since no one is doing any jokes ill try one. its not really a joke but its kinda funny:

Ways To Annoy Bathroom Friends
1.Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, ''May I borrow a highlighter?''
2. ''Uh-oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that.''
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
4. ''Hmmm, I've never seen that color before.''
5. ''Damn, this water is cold.''
6. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh relaxingly.
7. ''Now how did that get there?''
8. ''Hummus. Reminds me of hummus.''
9. Fill up a large flask with Mountian Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling,''Whoa! Easy boy!!''
10. '' Interesting....more sinkers than floaters''
11. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peaunt butter on a wad of toliet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say,''Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?'
12. ''C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!'
13. ''Boy, that sure looks like a maggot''
14. ''Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?''
15. Play a well-known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.
16. Before you unroll toliet paper, conspicusly lay down your ''Cross-Dressers Anonymous'' newsletter on the floor visiable to the adjacent stall.
17. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, ''Peek-a-boo!''
18. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing ''Born Free.''



SFHNC
0/1300

I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

From 1 to 5, I'd say that was pretty humorous.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
Get your elbow out of her chest, or I'm going to put my fist thru your face - Ozzy Concert

5! lol, im gonna do the peanut butter one someday!
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skiing isn't an obsession Dr.Phil, its life.

Winning isn't everyhting.......Its the ONLY thing

www.geocities.com/poor_boy184/enter SKI4LIFE - LIVE4EVER

/I liked the hummus. 3.5
- Mike

'i love your velcro shoes baby....you just look soo cute in them.....my little retard *hugs*' - Stacy to Dave Pauls

Ahah, the bathroom stuff gets a 4, I like the dropping of a big melon idea after grunting.

Ok, I don't know if anyone else is getting this, but as I'm posting it says there's been 11 replies, I definitely didn't count that many.

ya i no snownasty and I both posted a joke making fun of each other and they got removed

________________________
Member of the, 'lets help Sam loose some weight so he can possibly get a girl Club'
_______________________
NH_Line:ya oakleys skis are no rumor!!!!!!!!! offffff the hook, the are coming out with the Osama Pros, and t-hall is leaving Armada to ride them, they also will come with a free bling bling necklace

ArmadaFreerider8:Where can you get a pic of the new oakley skis?

Ds91260: i already got my osama pros, i stole them from a cave in afganistan

ArmadaFreerider8: Why would tanner hall leave armada after he just helped start it

how many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
-lets go ride a bike

303

decent, it has the potential to be funny when timed just right, so a 3.




Joel

ya I laughed hard the first time I saw that so I'm gonna give it a 4.5
- Mike

'i love your velcro shoes baby....you just look soo cute in them.....my little retard *hugs*' - Stacy to Dave Pauls

One morning on the news, the weather man said, 'We're excepting 8 inches of snow tonight.'

There was no snow.

The next morning, the female news anchor asked the weather man, 'What happened to the 8 inches you promised me last night?'


-The DR.-

ha. its a 4.


Joel

I am cool.


*****

Founder of the 'lets help Sam loose some weight so he can possibly get a girl' Club.

I quit

this is a joke form family guy
what's the difference between prono and art?
A federal grant
life's a video game don't leave it on pause
-me

screw you I usuually make better jokes but i couldn't think of any
life's a video game don't leave it on pause
-me

heres a bad one
whats black, blue, and doesnt like sex
.
.
.
.
.
.
.a rape victim


'when i first heard them, i was like 'oh my dad''-jesus
I think i'm going crazy...

I'd give shellibabe a 3. That was pretty funny.


Would you like freedom fries with that?

That was horid petek ..... but funny at the same time. 4




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NH_Line:ya oakleys skis are no rumor!!!!!!!!! offffff the hook, the are coming out with the Osama Pros, and t-hall is leaving Armada to ride them, they also will come with a free bling bling necklace

ArmadaFreerider8:Where can you get a pic of the new oakley skis?

Ds91260: i already got my osama pros, i stole them from a cave in afganistan

ArmadaFreerider8: Why would tanner hall leave armada after he just helped start it

i watched that family guy episode this afternoon. i hope its a different one than the one thats on at 11:30


Remember you were born a human being
Not a part of their machine

-Pat
WBP|films

Long Live Tim
and
Long Live The King

hahaha its ron jeremy!


Joel

hahaha its ron jeremy!


Joel

AND mario...
-Pat
WBP|films

Long Live Tim
and
Long Live The King

mistaskier: I'm assuming Shellibabe's is gone?


Brody
i wont drop out of high school for skiing, mom

No, it's the third post.


Would you like freedom fries with that?

And this thread doesn't have much funny stuff yet.


Would you like freedom fries with that?

ok ok...
A lorry driver was driving down a coastal road, when he sees a little girl sat down on the pavement crying. He stops his lorry, gets out and asks her what the matter. The little girl replies 'i've just seen my parents drive off that cliff and die' The lorry driver unzips his fly, and says, 'well it looks like it just isn't your day'


Don't be a toad, follow the ski-way code

Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly
at Scrabble.

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM

EVANGELIST:
When you rearrange the letters: EVIL'S AGENT

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z's

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters: I'M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE

And for the grand finale:
PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA:
When you rearrange the letters (With no letters left over
using each
letter only once):

TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Dan Maguire
Yankees Suck

'...all fled before his face. All save one. There waiting, silent
and still in the space before the gate, sat Gandalf upon Shadowfax.'

'It's not the eastern shore that worries me. A shadow and a threat has been growing in my mind. Something draws near, I can feel it.'

How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
10, 1 to do it, and 9 to say 'I can do that.'

'Dude, we're sick. He's pretty sick, but his muscles aren't as big as mine, so you know.'-CR Johnson

^post that a few more times


Remember you were born a human being
Not a part of their machine

its hella funny


Remember you were born a human being
Not a part of their machine

didja hear about the farmer that won an award?







he was outstanding in his field
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save a tree: stop making report cards
dont drink and drive- you might spill your beer
i didnt do it
respect mah authoritah!!-cartman

member of the 'lets help sam lose some weight so he can possibly get a girl' club

this is a really cool thread



i sleep at the terrain park

u guys suck!

your butt is so big....u have more crack then a drug dealer.

Jack and Jill
Jack and Jill went up a hill to have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.

Support Group for Yo Fat Mama
Yo mama's so fat, even Richard Simmons laughs at her!

Yo mama's So Fat
Yo mama is so fat, when you slap her leg, you can ride the waves.

6.9
What is a 6.9?
A 69 interupted by a period.

Christmas Cookie Dough
Every year, Grandma and her grandkids, Suzy, Jill, and Billy come stay with her over Christmas. And every Christmas Eve they would make a big bowl of cookie dough so they could make cookies on Christmas Day. And every time, the next morning the cookie dough would be gone. The grandma could never catch them, so this year she put metal bb's in the cookie dough. The next morning, the cookie dough was gone and soon Suzy came running downstairs.
''Grandma, I went to the bathroom to pee and bb's came out.''
'Suzy,' Grandma said. 'I know you've been eating cookie dough. Sit down.' Then Jill came down and said ''Grandma, I went poo and there were bb's in it.''
'Jill, I know you've been eating cookie dough. Sit down.' About five minutes later little Billy came.
''Grandma something terrible has happened, I was jerking off in the garage and I shot the cat!''

Frosty
Q. Why was Frosty smiling?
A. He saw the snowblower coming.

Jack and Jill II
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To smoke some marijuana
Jack got high
Pulled down his fly
And Jill said I don't wanna!

Like Midgets In The Night...
What is grosser than gross?
When a midget walks by and says your hair smells nice...

Lose 20 Lbs. Guaranteed!
There guy goes to a weight loss clinic and says he needs to lose 20 lbs. The receptionist sends him upstairs, where he finds a beautiful naked woman with a sign that says 'If you catch me, you can screw me.' An hour later, he emerges, sated and 20 lbs. lighter.
A month later, he returns and needs to lose 50 lbs. The receptionist sends him upstairs again, but this time there are two girls with the same sign. A day later, he comes out 50 lbs. lighter.
A year later, he returns and needs to lose 100 lbs. He gets sent upstairs again, where he finds a Richard Simmons with a sign that reads 'If I catch you, I screw you.'

Doorknob
You're just like a doorknob, everyone gets a turn.

Flying A-holes
If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.

Blonde:
Why cant a blonde dial 911? She cant find the 11

i say the..........cat one gets a 4, since it mentions mastubating, and relates to the everytime you masterbate god kills a kitten picture. since the cat dies
_______________________________________________________

Oh yes, yes, i love crack, im absolutely cookoo for crack! -Stewie

Member of the 'lets help Sam loose some weight so he can possibly get a girl' Club.

A guy gets a call from the ER and is told that his wife has hit another Car. When he gets to the ER and docter meets him in a hall way. The Doc tells him that his wife has been badly hurt and has no use of her leg. The doc also tells him that he is going to have to do every thing for his wife, such as cleaning her, feeding her, everying thing. The man starts to cry. The docter pats his back and says . I just fucking with you she is dead.




Ski Fast and Stay Away From the Trees

the picture gets a 5. its hilarious
Math Team Films represent!!!

Jesus walks into an inn, hands the innkeeper 3 nails, and says, Hey man, can you put me up for the night?

(ducks rocks)

Mayor of NS Isle

If you don't make it the first time, you need to go bigger

^^ hahahaha why doesnt jesus play hockey?

cuz hes always gettin nailed to the boards


President of the OTC!

Everybody, Lateralis drinks alcohol and smokes marijuana cigarettes. You're burned now, Lateralis! - halo

'ive been shavin since i was in 5th grade, yea the girls made fun of me then, but now they grovel at my feet just to pet me' - Alex aka Ds91260

**NEWSCHOOL UNDERGROUND**

Whats the diffrence between a dead baby and a Porce?

I dont have a Porce in my garage



Whats the diffrece between a pile of dead babies in a pick up truck and a pile of bowling balls?

You can use a pitch fork to get one of them out




'My arm hurts, I think I had a Stroke'
-Some girl in my school

'At least my boy friend didnt finger my ass hole with strawberry shampoo'
- Words siad durring a Bitch fight

'Bagger my ass, its probley just Mill House'
- Homer Simpson

Sluty girl: 'Im so bad that i run with gangs'
Cartman: 'Yea well, I run with Ten Gangs..'
-South park episode

Bumper Sticker Sayings
1. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
2. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.
3. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
4. Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
5. Do I look like a freakin' people person?
6. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
7. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
8. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
9. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
10. You! Off my planet!
11. I like cats, too. Let's exchange recipes.
12. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
13. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
14. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
15. Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.
16. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
17. I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.
18. Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
19. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
20. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
21. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
22. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
23. Don't worry. I forgot your name, too!
24. Adults are just kids who owe money.
25. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
26. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
27. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
28. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
29. If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cat.
30. You look like shit. Is that the style now?
31. Earth is full. Go home.
32. Is it time for your medication or mine?
33. Does this condom make me look fat?
34. I plead contemporary insanity.
35. And which dwarf are you?
36. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. Meandering to a different drummer.
39. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
40. I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here or to go?


Different Ways To Say ''You're Stupid''
 A few clowns short of a circus.
 A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
 An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
 A few beers short of a six-pack.
 Dumber than a box of hair.
 A few peas short of a casserole.
 Doesn't have all her cornflakes in one box.
 The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
 One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.
 One taco short of a combination plate.
 A few feathers short of a whole duck.
 All foam, no beer.
 The cheese slid off her cracker.
 Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
 Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
 He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
 An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
 As smart as bait.
 Chimney's clogged.
 Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
 Doesn't know much but leads the league in nostril hair.
 Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
 Forgot to pay her brain bill.
 Her sewing machine's out of thread.
 His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
 His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
 If she had another brain, it would be lonely.
 Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
 No grain in the silo.
 Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
 Receiver is off the hook.
 Several nuts short of a full pouch.
 Skylight leaks a little.
 Slinky's kinked.
 Surfing in Nebraska.
 Too much yardage between the goal posts.
 Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
 The lights are on, but nobody's home.
 24 cents short of a quarter.
Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
He's been working with glue too much.
Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
I would not allow this employee to breed.
This employee is really not so much of a 'has-been', but more of a definite 'won't be'.


Doorknob
You're just like a doorknob, everyone gets a turn.

Flying A-holes
If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.

Blonde:
Why cant a blonde dial 911? She cant find the 11



*****************
SFHNC
101/1300

I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

Jay Peak Represent

RS4LIFE is my hero!

hahahahaha, funny stuff ^

Two drunks were in a tavern sitting at the bar and staring into their drinks.

One got a curious look on his face and asked, 'Hey, Pete! You ever seen an ice cube with a hole in it before?'

'Yep. I been married to one for fifteen years.'


-The DR.-

hehe. 2.
_______________________________________________________

Oh yes, yes, i love crack, im absolutely cookoo for crack! -Stewie

Member of the 'lets help Sam loose some weight so he can possibly get a girl' Club.

volklpro gets a 5 because just thinking of stewie makes me laugh

trust me, the '' things aren't actually there

member 5054