Funny Essay

Some kid in my english class actually submitted this to a teacher. The assignmenet was to wirte about someone who made the world better...

     Their have been many people who have lived in history, some lived and affected the public for the greater worse, and others for the greater good. Hugh Hefner was one of theses people. His affect was far reached and effects area of the economy one would not think.
     With out Hugh's influence, many lumberjacking companies would not be today, due to the thousands perhaps millions of pages of his infamous Playboy Magazine.  The need for such numbers of papers would not be needed. Hugh also has employed countless government civil service workers, providing ample magazines to be delivered, thus creating the need for many many more US postal service. "...postal employment up 35% over 9 years..." Along with the boost in the need for US postal service men, their would also be a need for better and more reliable automobiles. This would endorse the use of automobiles as more common beings, which was not the case when playboy was first started. This would not only would benefit the car companies but stir up a cultural change making the car an everyday and much needed commodity. This would push Ford to be the cultural icon it is day, without the increase in demand as shown in this quote "...sales on fords up 15%..." driving today would not be the same.
     Also, Hugh has had a profound influence on the past of our country but also the modern it self. the internet, used by many loved by all would not be the same if it wasn't for Hugh. The speed of our internet is the fastest it has ever been, this is due largely to the increase in demand for higher downloading and uploading speeds, "...80% of the internet is crap and porn,  15% more crap and porn, but the other 5% are real gems..."Hugh is largely to thank for that 95% of crap and porn on the internet, without him people would not be downloading such enormous files daily, and without the need for faster internet, their would be no need for better computers, putting IBM and Macintosh, and their would be no need for the programs for them to run on and that takes care of Microsoft, Adobe, Lunex, and countless other programs. And without the increase in demand for computers, products relating to computers would never see the light of day, such as external hard drive, the printer, mousse, even computer tables. With computers not being so common many businesses would not be willing to risk their success on such an unknown machine.
     Hugh has also helped save television networks and even created a few himself. With more channels it provides more space for advertisement so companies do not have to pay such high rates for air time, it gives actors a chance to be known, producers, directors, extras all a chance to make it in the biz. He aslo saved the E television network, with past flops for reality TV shows such as the Anna Nicole Smith Show, which she got her start in Playboy, Taradise, Wild On, his pay-per view movies, has boosted the pay per view channels business ten fold. His clothing apparel which is sweat free, has given many immigrants and aspiring designers jobs, it has boosted the cotton industry, the cotton processing industry, and the cotton picking industry, which has recently seen a much more wide range of workers. His jewelry has also changed the industry for the better, his chep jewelry gave stores such as Wal-Mart, and Kohls, Marshalls merchandise that appeals to many young girls, thus making them more successful and producing more jobs, lowering the unemployment rate. And that is jus a beginning to his wonderful affects on the world.
     So it is needless to say, Hugh Heffner has changed our world for the better, and has indeed led a worthy lufe.