To Be a liberal:

“You have to believe that the same public school idiot who can't teach 4th graders how to read is qualified to teach those same kids about sex.”

Well if you gave more funding to schools then to Halliburton, then we would have good public school teachers.

“You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of funding.”

But it can be stopped by more funding.

“You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than nuclear weapons in the hands of the Chinese.”

It’s not dangerous for law-abiding Americans to have guns, but it is a little more of threat if you have automatic weapons in the hands of non law-abiding Americans. And the Chinese are not stupid enough to bomb us. Because we would fuck them up and with out us their economy would go bye-bye.

“You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the brilliance of the Sun, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.”

The sun actually stays pretty much the same, and yes, overall we are doing a lot more then the sun to make it so that Atlanta will never get snow. Go ski some slides with Atlanta Ski if you want to drive your SUV while you get fat, I will bike and be in better shape and not be fucking up the environment.

“You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being gay is natural.”

Humans created gender roles so yes they are artificial, as for being homosexual, it is a miss-wiring of the brain, so yes it is natural.

“You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity”

Without governments there would be no business.

“You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but pasty, loony activists who've never been outside Seattle do.”

Actually if you ever came to Seattle you would realize we get out and enjoy nature rather then sitting around at six flags and visiting tanning booths to get our tans.

“You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.”

No you don’t.

“You have to believe the free market that gives us 500+ channels can't deliver the quality that PBS does.”

No, we just prefer not to watch commercials.

“You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.”

The government does stuff for me; the bank just charges me fees.

“You have to believe that Harriet Tubman, Cesar Chavez and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.”

Let me think, the to Thomas’s did but Lee just was a traitor, unless you think it is a good for states to leave the country when ever they want to.

“You have to believe conservatives are racists, but that black people couldn't make it without your help.”

No but you do understand that many conservatives are making it hard on low income people many of whom are black.

“You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in charge.”

No, you would only think that if you were some ignorant red who does not know shit.

“You have to believe that Hillary is actually a lady.”

Well I would not say that she is a man.

“You have to believe that illegal Democratic party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.”

Are you sure that’s true.