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I savored your dirty panties while you were out and while you were in the shower. I went up stairs to your room and stole a couple pairs of either your or your roomate's dirty panties. I don't know which side of the room is yours. While you went to get me a glass of water, I stole your sweaty panties from the hamper and masterbated furiously with them on my face
I have a total of 3 std's, I have sex with women and pretend to love them. After about a month of a somewhat serious relationship, I break up with them and accuse them of giving me a std. I love myself.
i agree with this one though
12/31/2003 at 14:37:14
It disgusts me that the newest series of Anti-Marijuana commercials suggests that the drug is responsible for babies drowning, women getting raped and excessive car crashes. These are things that happen everyday for random reasons like the parents aren't being responsible for their kids, women are too drunk to say no, or people aren't paying attention to the freakin' road. The modern 'Reefer Madness' revival is inaccurate and ignorant.
I'm a 41-year old virgin. Three years ago I bought my first vibrator, the only thing I've ever had sex with. I'm not sure why this is; I'm tall, thin, and blond with large breasts yet I never get asked out, only flirted with. And I'm too shy to be the agressor. It depresses me that I essentially lost my virginity to an inanimate object.
I fuckin wanna love someone soo bad. But I'm too selfish. I'm too lustful. I can get any guy I wanted. But I get bored easily and lose interest. Fuck! I'm still a virgin and I turned down so many guys. Wut if I'll be alone and die a virgin? I don't wanna get pregnant or get an std either. Gah! I'm gonna masturebate now... "
I manipulate my friends and family all the time, I steal their things and masturbate with their belongings when they arent around. I lie so fucking much. Oh, and I also fantasise about men old enough to be my father and breaking up their marriages. Lovely girl, arent I?
I tihnk my friend is sexually frustrated. I want to hook him up with my slutty friend, that way she'll leave me alone and he can finally get some.
and the best one EVER...
05/12/2005 at 11:12:31
A girl who dated my cousin last year is now sending me signals and clearly wants me. She's funny and pretty but my cousin told me he broke up with her because one night they were drunk and she was on top fucking him, and he fell asleep in the middle of it, and she got so pissed off she took a shit on his chest and left. My cousin doesn't usually lie. I like this girl but I'm not sure exactly how to ask her to refrain from taking a dump on me.