It is about 12 pages long, but only 2000 words, so it isnt as long as it seems. this is for a class that i have to write a tv script for.
Stan, Kyle, Cartmen, and Kenny are at the bus stop playing with action figures.
Cartmen hits Kyle’s action figure with his: BAM your dead.
Kyle: What why?
Cartmen: Because the Jews can’t fight wars.
Stan: What the hell are you talking about Cartmen?
Cartmen: Ahem every war in history.
Kyle: Shut up Cartmen you don’t know what you’re talking about.
Cartmen: Yes I do. Rome war Jews slaves, World War 2 Jews
Camps, Middle East hasn’t stopped fighting in thousands of
Kyle: Cartmen just shut the hell up before I…I…I….
Cartmen: What prove me wrong go ahead Kyle give it your
Kyle: (Pauses) Fuck you.
Cartmen: That’s right.
Butters runs on to scene: Hey guys you got to try this!
Stan: What is it?
Butters: Well it’s a candy bar that I got from that guy in the
Kyle: What kind of candy bar?
Butters: Some foreign kind I guess the guy didn’t speak no
Kyle: You mean he can’t speak English?
Cartmen grabs the candy bar from Butters: Let me try. (He
Cartmen: WOW that’s the best candy bar I have ever had.
Butters: I wanted to eat that. Now I don’t have any money
for another one.
Cartmen: If those candy bars were sold in stores they would
sell out. (Pauses for a moment.) You guys oh my god. We
should buy all the candy bars off of that guy in the van and
sell them our self’s, and we could make millions.
Stan: With what I only have a dollar.
Kyle: Yeah I don’t have any money either.
Kyle: Cartmen what are you thinking of doing?
Cartmen: Nothing… Butter’s here is a dollar go to that guy
in the van again and buy another candy bar.
Butters: Really wow gee thanks Cartmen.
Cartmen: Any time.
Butters goes over to the van: Hi there mister can I get
another candy bar.
Guy in Van: See.
While the Butters gives the man the money Cartmen hopes
in back of the Van and steals the boxes of candy bars.
Stan: Cartmen is an asshole.
Kyle: Oh yeah.
End scene one. Cut to Commercials.
Scene Two Act Two.
Cartmen is in the school yard with a stand set up: Come one
come all and try THE best candy bars in the world.
Kid: I want one.
Cartmen: That will be two dollars.
Kid: What no way.
Cartmen: Fine then you can’t get to eat the best and most
awesomeness candy bar in the whole wide world then.
Kid: Ok here. (Hands Cartmen two dollars and eats the
candy bar.) Wow that is really good I want another one!
A line forms at the stand.
Kenny: What’s the deal with the candy bars?
Stan: Yeah it’s just a candy bar what is the big deal. I’m
going to go get one.
Cartmen: Why hello Stan… Care to try the best Candy Bar in
Stan: Yes I do.
Cartmen: That will be two dollars.
Stan: Fine here. (Stan eats the candy bar.) That is really
Cartmen: I know I’m going to be rich from selling them. I
have already sold out of the first batch.
Kyle: You can’t get rich from them your are already sold
out. How are you going to get more of them?
Cartmen: I will find that guy in the van again.
Cut to the Guy in the Van
Cartmen walks up to the front of the van: Hi there I would
like to buy all your candy bars.
Guy in van: See
Cartmen: How much do you want for them all?
Guy in van: See
Cartmen: (Holds out all the money.) This is what I’m
offering for all the candy bars you have in the van. Now give
me the candy bars.
Guy in Van: (looks at the money nods his hand)
Cartmen: Give me the candy bars!
Guy in van: (Hands one candy bar.)
Cartmen throws it to the ground: No god damn it I want all
Guy in Van: See.
Cartmen: Do I have to do every thing my self. (He walks out
of scene and comes back with a stick in his hand and hits
the guy in the van over the head and steals all the boxes of
candy bars from him.)
Cut back to School yard and candy stand with a long line,
and kids eating the candy bars fast and loving them.
Stan: Where are those candy bars from?
Kyle: I don’t know, but they are really good. I have already
had three of them. I don’t want to buy them off Cartmen
but they are too good not too.
Kenny: mumble yeah.
End scene two.
Cartmen is in his room writing on paper and counting his
Kyle Stan and Kenny walk in the room.
Stan: Cartmen did you ask that guy where those candy bars
are from when you got them from him?
Cartmen: Um No.
Kyle: Do you have any more on you?
Cartmen: Maybe what is it worth to you?
Kyle: Damn it do you have one or not?
Cartmen: Five bucks.
Kyle: What! Why isn’t it two?
Cartmen: Supply and demand my dear Kyle.
Kyle: Ahh! Fine here.
Cartmen: Thank you.
Kyle eats the candy bar fast.
Kyle: So good. Why are they so good?
Stan: Yeah did you find out what is in them?
Cartmen: Nah uh.
Kenny: mumbles why not?
Cartmen: He only speaks Mexican.
Kyle: Who speaks Mexican?
Stan: What about that kid that moved here from L.A isn’t he
Stan: Lets get him to go talk to the guy with us so he can
tell us what he is saying.
Cartmen: I’m not going.
Kyle: Why aren’t you going to go?
Cartmen: Cause I got work to do.
Kyle: Oh yeah what kind of work.
Cartmen points to the money on his desk
Kyle: You can do it later.
Cartmen: No time is money, time is money.
Stan: We can go without him.
End scene three.
Start Scene Four
Stan, Kenny and Kyle are walking up to a house with a
Mexican Flag in the yard. They knock on the door. The
Mexican kid opens the door whose name is Ramirez.
Stan: Hey would you mind translating some Mexican for us?
Ramirez: You mean Spanish.
Stan: Because we got to find out what are in Cartmen’s
Ramirez: the ones that everyone are being sold in the
Kyle: Yeah those ones.
Ramirez: Si I will do it.
Cut to the Van:
Kyle goes up to the van and holds up a dollar and gets a
candy bar and eats it fast.
Stan: You might want to take it easy on those.
Kyle: I cant it seems the more I have the more I want. I cant
Stan: Well just try to cut back a little, it’s not healthy.
Kyle: I know I will try.
Ramirez: Ok what am I asking this man?
Stan: Where did he get these candy bars?
Ramirez: ¿Dónde obtuvo usted ésos azucaran las barras?
Guy in Van: Mi primo.
Stan: What did he say?
Ramirez: His cousin?
Stan: Ask him why it is so good.
Ramirez: ¿Por qué las chocolatinas son tan sabrosas?
Guy in van: ¿Por qué las chocolatinas son tan sabrosas?
Ramirez: He said he doesn’t know, his cousin just gives
them to him to sell.
Stan: Where is he cousin?
Ramirez: ¿Dónde está su primo?
Guy in Van: México.
Guy in Van: Si.
Stan: Well let’s go ask him.
Ramirez: What? Why?
Stan: Because we got to find out why everyone is eating so
many of them. Look at Kyle he has had at least 8 today.
Stan: Ok 11 but come on there isn’t some thing right about
these candy bars. Ask him if he will take us to his cousin.
Ramirez: Fine. ¿Nos tomará usted a su primo?
Guy in Van: Si. Necesito más. (While rubbing his head.)
Ramirez: Si he will do it.
Stan ok lets go.
End Scene Four.
Start Scene Five Act one.
The van is driving down the highway and passes a big sign
that says welcome to Mexico.
Stan: Ok guys we here.
Kyle: (Shaking in by the back door in the van) About time I
need a candy bar.
Stan: Ask him how much longer we have.
Ramirez: ¿Cuándo estaremos nosotros allí?
Guy in Van: No a lejos diez minutos por ahí.
Ramirez: About ten minutes.
Kyle: Ten minutes why god, why so far, why not now.
Cut to Cartmen selling the candy bars. With a sign on the
front of his booth that says Cartmen Bars.
Cartmen: Yes just line up and get your Cartmen Bars right
Girl: (Shaking holding a dollar out): Can I have one?
Cartmen: Well you need more then that, read the sign
Cartmen Bars are $5 each.
Girl: I only have a dollar.
Cartmen: That’s too bad.
Girl: (Starts to cry): Please just one, all I want is one.
Cartmen: Nope can’t help you. (Looking away while flooding
Girl walks away crying and another girl takes her spot and
hands Cartmen 5 dollars.
Cartmen: Thank you (hands the girl the candy bar and she
starts to eat it.) Next!
Cut to the van stopping in front of a shady Mexican style
house with a big barn next to it with a lot of pit bulls out
Kenny: Mumbled my house looks better then this.
Ramirez: I’m not to sure about this place.
Stan: Well we came here we got to find out what is in that
chocolate of those candy bars.
Ramirez: All right lead the way.
They walk to a man staring at them from a barn.
Guy in Barn: Hola.
Stan: Is that guy in the van your cousin?
Guy in barn: (Pauses… )Si
Stan: So you gave him the candy bars?
Guy in Barn: (Pauses…) Candy Bars?
Kyle: Yes!! Do you have any ?!
Guy in Barn: (Looks around nervously) What candy bars?
Stan: The ones you are gave your cousin van.
Guy in Barn: That is not my cousin I don’t not know that
Stan: What are you talking about he drove us here because
you gave him the candy, and you just said he was your
Guy in barn: No I did not. You must have the wrong place.
Stan: Why are you blocking the doorway to the barn?
Guy in barn: (Steps in front of the door a little more.) No I’m
Stan: Yes! You are, let me look inside.
Guy in barn: (Pulls out a gun from the small opening in the
barn door, and shots it up in the air.) No! Leave this place.
Stan: Okay okay take it easy we will leave.
Stan walks by the others.
Kyle: Dude he has the candy bars in there, I can smell them,
they smell so good. I know they are in there, we go to get in
Stan: I know we will come back later and sneak in.
Kyle: I don’t think I can wait any longer.
Ramirez: Are you crazy he just shot a gun.
Stan: We will do it tonight when they will all be sleeping.
Ramirez: What about watch outs they might have them.
Stan: The way this place looks I doubt it.
Ramirez: I hope you are right.
End of Scene Five Act one.
Start of Scene Five Act Two.
Barn at night.
Stan: Kyle stay here, your addicted to the candy bars and I
don’t want you going in there with all those bars in there.
Ramirez: If they in there.
Kyle: Yeah they might not be in there.
Stan: Yeah but just in case stay out here and be look out.
Stan: Ready guys?
Ramirez and Kenny: Uh huh.
They Sneak to the barn door and slide in.
Stan: Look for any thing that is candy bar like.
Kenny: There. ( He points to a door that has light coming
They walk to the door and open it slowly.
Behind the door is a large room with an outrageous candy
bar machine system.
Stan: Score. Come on.
They walk down to the machine and look around and see
every thing looks normal.
Stan: This cant be right. There has to be more than this,
there is some thing about them. It must be around here
Cut to Kyle outside.
Kyle: What is taking them so long. I need a candy bar and
they are in there I know it. I can go in no one is around I
don’t have to look out for anyone.(Pauses…) Yeah I will just
run in real quick and get a candy bar and come back out.
(Kyle runs to the barn and goes in the door. Inside he runs
to an un-open door. Inside this room is a big mixing
camber for chocolate with a machine above it that is like a
large juicer that has a weird type of topical plant being
dropped in it. The juice is being pored in to the mixer.)
Kyle: The chocolate! (He runs over and starts to eat from the
Cut to the others flowing the machine in order the candy
bars are made.
Ramirez: Where does that tube come from? ( They follow it
in to the room Kyle is in.)
Kyle has his face in the chocolate, and the other boys walk
up and spot him.
Cut to Commercial
Stan: Kyle?! What are you doing?
Kyle: (Jumps up with a face covered in chocolate.) Nothing!
Ramirez: You have been eating the chocolate.
Stan: I told you not to come in here I told you, you cant help
Kyle: I know, but I had to come in, and no one is coming
here we are fine.
Stan: Just stay away from the chocolate and any bars.
Kyle: I will don’t worry.
Stan: Good. (Turns to the mixing camber.) What are those
pants being pored in there?
Ramirez: (Looks at the plants for a moment) Those are the
rare leafs of the devils sour tongue.
Stan: What is that?
Ramirez: It is a rare plant only known to grow high in the
Mexican mountains. It is said that a brave worrier went
insane when he found the plant and licked it. That first lick
lead to many more licks of the leafs. He could not control
himself it was as if the Devil him self was making him lick
the leafs of the plant he went mad because of them.
Stan: That must why everyone is becoming addicted to the
candy bars. The juice from those leafs must be made of
some thing that makes who ever touches it with they
tongue addicted to it, and the more of it you have the more
Kenny: Yeah it must be that.
Ramirez: Lets go now.
Stan: Hang on it want to grab a leaf.
Ramirez: Why do you want to do that?
Stan: To bring it back to show everyone why they cant stop
eating the bars. ( He runs up and grabs a leaf.) Now lets go.
End of Scene five Act Two.
Start of Scene five Act three
Outside of the Barn.