I want bigger things out of life. So much so that when im around other people listening to them joke around, i actually get depressed. sometimes. raw thought. if we are judgedwhen we do something wrong, are we judged when we dont do something right? given, the definition of right and wrong is from within. not doing what you know you should be doing is eating at me. Watching my potential grow every minute, every day, and i grow to match it less and less. The theory of small steps is a small comfort. guess ill take what i can get huh.
Having my actions judged based on their images instead of the thoughts behind them causes the type of frustruation that makes me sad. My lack of ability to communicate myself, be it my shortcomings or anothers lack of abilities to understand, causes constant misunderstandings and and false judgements. the sparks of hope and inspiration that come from those who catch that glimpse of you which is worthy of you. This holds the potential. The potential to be realized. To be ralized and to realize. To realize yourself is knowing more than what you like, what you want, what you can do. It is realizing where you stand within your potential. Realizing potential is a journey that never ends, but few chase. Chasing your potential allows you to realize yourself. Realizing yourself allows you to judge other peoples perceptions of you, and in general. Correctly judging peoples perceptions of you allows you the oppertunity to tackle changing them. Allowing them to have false perceptions and ideas about who you are is an option, not caring about what people think is what everybody says, and no one means. It's not like we (I) can't be fine in life being misunderstood and judged. We can. But what it you like a person, you naturally want to make them understand. First you have to think the relationship has mutual benefits if successful. Then you have to find a way to correstly change their perception of you, which is for them to change it themselves. This becomes a delicate art, being yourself, and knowing people are watching, changing what you say, do, and even think. Whack i know, but doing nothing lets the odds fall into the hands of fate, and sometimes i like to see if i can play a role in controling, or altering the omnipotent fate.
thats what was bothering me last week.