That's Entertainment? (rant)

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Ah yes, entertainment. It's the cornerstone of any complex civilization. To bad our modern entertainment is at an extremely low point.

Do you know what I mean?

Has anyone noticed how many remakes and sequels there are in Hollywood today? Lets list a few...King Kong, Resident Evil, Oceans 11, Tomb Raider, Assault on Precinct 13, Lady Killers, Fever Pitch, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, House of Wax, The Longest Yard, The Honeymooners, Bewitched, Bad News Bears, Freaky Friday, and The Dukes of Hazzard. There are a million more...but you get my point. How pathetic is this?

Has anyone also noticed how many sequels and prequels there are in Hollywood today? Lets refresh ourselves...Son of the Mask, Shanghai Knights, Little Mermaid 2, XXX: State of the Union, Electra, The Ring Two, Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous, Guess Who, Beauty Shop, The Amityville Horror, Freddy vs. Jason, Star Wars: Episode III, Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist, Batman Begins, Herbie: Fully Loaded, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, T3, and Dumb and Dumberer. These have all come within the last 5 or so years. And there are more...we can't forget Resident Evil 2, Spy Kids 3-D, The Lion King 1/2, Ice Age 2, The Mummy Returns, MI:2, The Matrix 2 and 3, Alien vs. Predator, and Lethal Weapon 4. Had enough? How about Rush Hour 2, Die Another Day, or Shreck 2? Okay, I'm done torturing you. Now onto my point...nah, 1 more. Legally Blonde 2!

Creativity is an endangered species in Hollywood. For every good movie 5 shitty ones spring up in the box office trying to emulate it. I'm really fucking sick of it.

The Lord of the Rings craze can be thanked for the "epic" turds like King Arthur, Troy, and Alexander. Thank the X-Men success for garbage like Daredevil, Hulk, and Fantastic 4. Not to mention the trend of war movies. Everything follows a pattern. Oh look! Another bland romantic comedy! The girl is actually a ghost half dead in a coma. How zany! How about that! A movie about twins who switch places. Wacky! You can't write this gold...oh wait...yes you can. THESE MOVIES ARE ALL THE FUCKING SAME!!!!! They require little effort to make. Most of the comedies are tied and predictable. Look at Mr. And Mrs. Smith. Did any of the "gags" in that movie actuary catch you by surprise? If they did, I would rank your intelligence among ameba. By just seeing the trailer you could call the entire fucking film. Look at action films. All they do is completely disregard anything close to a coherent storyline and instead inject it with a jillion special effects to the point that they aren't "special" anymore. Is it really worth paying money to be unsurprised and not entertained? HELL NO!

Lets look at another recent trend, movies about rappers. Pop culture has duped many into thinking that famous rappers and hip-hop artists actually live interesting lives. It would come to shock many that they don't. Seriously, I have no idea why people care about 50 Cent, Eminem, and 2 Pac. All of the stories involve them being dirt ass poor, shooting people, trafficking drugs, or being dirt ass poor so they have to shoot people in order to traffic drugs. Great! All of this AND they are trying to make a career out of rapping. Whats even funnier is that the directors dramatize and exaggerate everything because their lives truly were boring. Oh well, we can all eagerly await the white-collar rapper Kanye West to tell us his life story: "My life was so hard before I became big. When I interned at a software company, they put me in a cubicle. Me! In a cubicle! What made it even worse is that they had no doughnuts in the break room! So I leaped from my desk, busted a cap in the ass of every cracker I saw, and then sold some crack to the internal auditor. Then I bust into freestyle. I rap carrier was born! Bitch Niggas! I'm politically charged! I am THE MAN, but I still KEEP IT REAL." I want to castrate that man...moving along.

When movies are busy sucking the proverbial cock, TV is happily blowing it. One example is reality TV. More people vote on American Idol then in the US Presidential election. People are cattle. If the TV says so...then it must be true! American Idol sucks ass. The British guy is the only interesting person. This is because he is a ruthless asshole that loves crushing the hopes and dreams of other human beings. He's also never afraid to tell people that they are untalented. He is the only dose of reality in that entire show. And there is the crapfest that started it all...Survivor. Who doesn't want to watch a bunch of clueless slobs in the middle of the jungle eating squirrels and frog testicles. Whats more laughable is the fact that these people think they are so clever by manipulating other contestants. HA! In the normal world these people couldn't manipulate a fourteen year old. Spare me! I have an idea. How about we do "Survivor: Ghetto." It will take place in an exotic location like East St. Louis. The two tribes will be called the "Bloods" and the "Crips." The first immunity challenge will be called, "We give you the clip...you have to find the gun." Other challenges will include knife fights, street hoops, drive-bys, and crack dealing. Hey maybe you could tie in Vanilla Ice's life story. Before I retire this subject, I should mention poker. Why is this interesting to watch? It's just as boring as chess, but dumbed down significantly.

Scripted shows? That term should be used loosely. We have shit like crime/hospital dramas including NYPD Blue, Bones, CSI, ER, and General Hospital. Who finds these interesting? All you are watching is the same "dramatic" life of a cop/doctor. They seldom even focus on their actual occupations. Instead, they focus in their personal lives. It's literally watching gossip. I'd rather bore my eyes out with a rusty iron poker. Sitcoms aren't safe either. Thank God the almighty Friends is deader than the dodo. That show is the crowing achievement of how stupid an unfunny a popular show can be.

American Dad? Give me a fucking break. It's a cookie cutter clone of Family Guy. The animation style is the same, the characters are the same, and the comedic situations are IDENTICAL. Arguing that Family Guy and American Dad are two completely different shows is like arguing that College and NBA basketball are two completely different sports. I know some of you are thinking, "STFU! Seth MacFarlane is a genius! He makes one of the funniest shows of all time." Do you even realize that he doesn't even dream up half the jokes in his show? The writers do. All MacFarlane does is structure and supervise the show. I will admit that he is funny within his own right. Hell, I love Family Guy. But all of those shit kicking fanboys need to realize that Ol’ Seth is a one trick dog. He is entertaining you and insulting your intelligence at the same time. At least The Simpsons and Futurama have distinct fundamental differences.

How about kid shows? Can somebody please explain to the exec's that child anime sucks balls? All of those shows are the same carbon copy formula milked for 500+ episodes. Did you know that Pokemon now has more half hour episodes than The Simpsons? Do you know why that is? It's because, like every other kids anime, they take absolutely no talent to make. The writing is non-existent and the animation is low quality. I know the Otaku fanboys are all saying, "Wrong, shows from Japan are much better animated than American shows." NEWSFLASH! They are not! They may be better drawn. That's a HUGE difference. "Animation" is derived from the word "animate," which implies movement. The Japanese style is made with very little movement. What they do is just make key drawings and only animate the parts of the body/background that move. Watch it. When there is on-screen dialog, its common to only see their face move. Very little in the way of body language. And the fight scenes? All they do is slide 1 or 2 animation cells over a flashy background. Its laughable that its even nicknamed "anime." To be fair, many shows from America are also Farmer's Choice © Grade Shit. Can somebody please explain to me why Scooby-Doo is so popular? The jokes are only mildly funny. In saying that I'm being as generous as Mother Teresa. These "jokes" become even less humorous when repeated several hundred times. Not to mention that Shaggy is a hippie, and I REALLY fucking hate hippies. I think they should be hunted for sport. If I can shoot a 1500 lb Grizzly bear, I should be able to shoot hippies. Oops, got off subject again. I also hear that Power Rangers is still on TV. This show is of the lowest quality of anything I have/will mention in this thread. It's lower on the food chain then plankton. You wonder why kids are getting dumber? It's because we are feeding them garbage...garbage littered with razors, syringes, and the bloody mangled body parts of the talented entertainment community.

Do you know why there are so few gems in the rough? It's because shitty movies and shows are cheap and easy to make. They don't require skilled writing, skilled developing crews, or a sizeable budget. I least I have the comfort that the shitty shows will die quickly in peoples memories...because they will promptly move on the next shiny new pile of poop. The media is treating people like livestock. The media tells them what to like. You should be telling them what YOU like. Don't watch their crap. Don't pay to see shitty movies. Don't tolerate the mediocre!

FOR THE GOOD OF THE ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD, DO NOT FALL FOR THIS BULLSHIT!

I have barley scratched the surface of this issue. I could fill a book. If you want more, reply.


Quinny out.