*half of NS groans*
Yeah, I'm back, and I feel like burning off some steam. Seeing as some NSers (I won't name screennames) have had unpleasant reactions the last time did this, I feel it is my civic NS duty to provide you with this disclaimer. If you meet any of the following criteria, you are special...and should exit this thread immediately.
1. If you don't like to read things longer than 3 paragraphs...LEAVE!
2. If you have trouble detecting oozing sarcasm...LEAVE!
3. If you can't take my stuff with a grain of salt...LEAVE!
4. If you hate thought provoking material...LEAVE!
5. If you hold some retarded grudge against me...LEAVE!
6. Finally, if your IQ does not exceed the total sum of the six numbers in this disclaimer, thats 1+2+3+4+5+6 for you slower folk...LEAVE!
Please do your best to comply with these six rules, you have been warned. Remember, God kills a puppy every time you break one of these rules. Just think about the puppies.
Now, on with my rant...
What is Art? Art is difficult to define. The dictionary defines it as: "the conscious production or arrangement of sounds, colors, forms, movements, or other elements in a manner that affects the sense of beauty." But it goes far beyond that. Art reflects beauty in some form. Though "beauty" is very subjective because its defined by a person's opinion.
Truly great art, however, is recognized and appreciated by most people from all walks of life. When I think of great art, names like di Vinci, van Gogh, Mozart, John Lennon, Hemingway, and Shakespeare for example. It is works by these people, and many others, that define what is great art. Its works like their's that can withstand time and live on through the ages.
That was very uplifting wasn't it?
Anyway, I have now come to my point. What the fuck is this?
Yes, this is actually considered art. And yes, this is actuary sitting in and art museum. And yes, it's also considered "valuable." For the lucky people who don't know what this is, it is Tracy Emin’s work called “My Bed." If you can't tell, it’s a rather messy bed littered with condoms, cigarets, clothing, bodily fluids, and God only knows what else. From the look of it I'd say the lady needs a damn maid.
It makes me wonder, who decides what is "art." Seriously, who designated Emin's steaming pile of crap as a work of art? What made the "elite of the artistic world" decide that this is a great creation of beauty. Does "My Bed" stir up some kind of great moving emotion inside me...nope, but it is string up my lunch.
To my knowledge, the people who decide what "art" is, are a load of arrogant elitist fucktards who are too busy sucking each others' dicks to explain to "the great unwashed" what the hell they’re talking about.
Can someone please explain to me the artistic merit of "My Bed"...or for that matter, any of this modern art trash?
Anyone remember that art exhibit that was on the news 4 or 5 years ago? It featured an artistic interpretation of the Virgin Mary. Remember what the medium it was? Pastel? Nope! Acrylic? Nope! Bronze? Not even. It was the great medium of...dung. Thats right, poop. I shit you not (pun very much intended). How the fuck does a large brown turd thrown onto a canvas turn into art? The shit caked canvas didn't even look like a person, let alone a cultural icon like Mary. I know kindergarten finger paintings that are more artistic.
That exhibit also featured a "sculpture" of a cow...a real cow...cow that had been cut into four pieces and put in four glass cases filled with formaldehyde. WHAT THE FLYING FUCK!!!! This is art!?! The sad thing is people actually paid money to go see this exhibit. How do the museum directors sleep at night!?!
This kind of "art" can suck my left tentacle! It takes no fucking skill to make that kind of crap! Most of these modern artists just throw any random old shit together, say something about it having a hidden meaning about the torments of the human soul, and then get paid RIDICULOUS amounts of money for doing practically jack shit!
Here is another fine example of "art."
This magnificent piece of crap is Eberhard Havekost's "Carpark 4." Holy Jesus! How fascinating! A fucking car windshield! Seriously...how hard was it to paint that? Most of the canvas is a grey fucking windshield! I'll bet there's an explanation that it’s “the outer expression of the inner emptiness of the human soul” or some bullshit like that. WEAK!
That reminds me...why is depression always associated with artistic inspiration? Art is not always inspired by negative things. Its just the most convenient...but thats for another rant.
Back on topic, how about this?
Sublime! This sculpture is a bronze, shit colored lung with a glowing light-bulb sticking out of it. WTF?!?!!? This metal turd was exhibited at the 2004 London Art Fair. Is this "an expression of the inner self?" I've seriously shat more interesting loads into my toilet. My crap came from inside me? Its an expression of my inner bowels. Does that count?
I want a piece of this art-action damn it! Here is my stroke of inspiration.
I call it "Blue Angst." It represents the deep emotional struggle that every creature must endure. The blue represents all odds being against the individual. The line is the never ending depressing river that is life. The large dot at the end represents the futile struggle of men, women, and children. The white canvas is the emptiness of life...Gosh, I sure am depressed, I think I'll go eat some chocolate ice cream and watch a show on Lifetime.
Where the fuck is my fat paycheck? Where is my award? When will this be featured at a national art exhibition?
Do you know why? Its because I'm not one of them. I'm not part of the art community. Apparently if you have a college degree in art, everything you touch can turn into gold. Apparently if an artist pukes on a sheet and throws it up on a wall its art...but its grotesque and tasteless when Joe Public does it. Do you know what that screams?
Art Communaty > You
What gave them the idea that they are such hot shit? I guess since they are so enlightened in the ways of "art" it makes them better human beings. Oh yeah? WELL FUCK YOU TOO, YOU ELITIST BASTARDS!!!!!!!!
This kind of modern art is shit. Shit is shit, no matter what color is comes in. Thankfully, this kind of drivel will not live long in the memory. I guarantee works like "My Bed" and "Carpark 4" will be long forgotten in 20 years. Truly great art can survive fads, trends, and the test of time. Suck on that you no talent asshats!!!!
On a side note...do you know what type of art is most overlooked? Animation.