My Hot Coffee Rant

Okay kiddies, have a seat. It’s time for a rant.

In the last few weeks some in Congress are up in arms about video games again. Once again, we are hearing about the evils videogames bring; encouraging violence, sex, and other naughty things to the nation’s youth. This most recent addition to the boiling pot has been brought on by the “Hot Coffee� mod in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. The mod-in-question is an unlockable seine that graphically depicts (pause for dramatic effect) SEX!

Now at face value, this could seem terrible, but lets think about this. GTA is a game in which you run around in a freeform world committing crime and havoc at your leisure. You can beat people in the face with a baseball bat, shoot policemen with a shotgun, and blow up busses with grenade launchers...and its only now that people “flip-shit� when there is sex involved?

MOTHER-FUCKING-BRILLIENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can just hear the mothers in court for the class-action lawsuit. “I bought this game so my 10 year old son could shoot cops and beat-up hookers! Never in my life would I have expected this videogame to portray sexual intercourse! What was a perfectly nice game for my son has now exposed him to pornography! I want compensation!�

I think Maddox (of xmission) said it best; “I want to shoot people in the face, bang prostitutes, traffic drugs, steal cars, and terrorize police officers without this filthy smut in my game.� It seems that some people need to straiten priorities. Are people this seriously fucking stupid?

Excessive violence is okay but sex isn’t? What if the law worked like that? I could get out of my chair, walk out the door, strut over to my neighbor’s house, wait for him to open the door, he would smile and say hello...and then I would punch him in the face, them pull out my M16 and hose him down with bullets, and the chuck a Molotov Cocktail into his house...no one would mind though because violence is acceptable. But if, afterwards, I go over to my girlfriend’s house and have long hot dirty sex...the police would lock me up and throw away the key. Are people this seriously fucking stupid?

Many also seem to overlook that fact that San Andreas was an “M� rated game. According to the ESRB rating system; "Titles rated M (Mature) have content that may be suitable for persons of age 17 and older." If that’s the case, what’s the problem? Well, apparently that dumbfuck mother in court forgot to read the rating label that ON THE FRONT OF THE BOX!!!

Apparently its not her fault however. After the “Hot Coffee� mod was found copies of GTA were recalled from stores nationwide so that the rating could be changed. To what you might ask? “Adult Only.� ESRB states that; “Titles rated AO (Adults Only) have content that should only be played by persons 18 years and older.� 17 to 18. Only one-fucking-year-age-difference! All that controversy so that 17 year olds should wait a year or less to play this same game?!? Hats off to you Soccer Mom! Baby-boy-bob is safe for another twelve moths! I’m sure she now sleeps well at night.

Funny as it is, the rating doesn’t even matter because it’s not enforced in any way. CONGRADULATIONS YOU ASSHATS!!! I couldn’t think of a dumber way to solve a problem. It’s like treating cancer by giving a patient Tylenol.

This whole issue is absolutely ludicrous. If people (namely parents) actually looked at the rating on the cover of the box, we wouldn’t even have this controversy. The problem is the rating system is not enforced. Film, television, and print are all enforced in one-way or another. TV’s now come with V-chip to block unsuitable content for children, no problem. You can’t rent or buy tickets to “R� movies unless you are over 17, no problem. You can’t buy “adult� books or magazine unless you are 18 or older, no problem. While A 10-year-old can, however, walk into a Wal-Mart and purchase an “M� rated game, no questions asked. Why doesn’t the government simply require age verification for video game purchasing? It’s in place for every other medium, even the internet.

The biggest problem is that we have INCOMPITENT MORONES (i.e. greedy, self indulgent, basterds) that are not pushing that issue in Washington. Instead, people like Jack “tool� Thompson and Hillary “cow� Clinton are trying to plant the responsibility at someone else’s feet. The notion of enforcing videogame PRODUCTION (i.e. telling game developers what they can and can’t make).� First amendment violation anyone?

Jack “approval rating� Thompson and Hillary “I want to be president� Clinton have also spun the notion of creating a multi-million dollar study on videogame violence. BRAVO!!! Bravo you bureaucratic swine! LETS WASTE THE TAXPAYERS HARD EARND CASH ON A POINTLESS STUDY! They think videogames are bad, try typing the words “sex� and “death� on Google. It’s just a pointless study and a waste of millions of dollars. Why don’t we also go after the film industry for movies like Sin City and Pulp Fiction? Or how about print with Playboy and Penthouse? Lets not even get into what kind of crap is on TV. Are people this seriously fucking stupid?

Why don’t they just ENFORCE THE DAMN RATING SYSTEM!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s seriously that fucking simple! Yet Hillary Clinton wants to waste time and money going in circles to bump her approval ratings. HOW DOES NO ONE SEE THROUGH THIS?!?! Is this dumbass seriously the horse the democrats want to bet on in 2008? Jesus H. Christ, no one should be this stupid!

Why are people so retarded?

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The only rich people who are truly lucky are the ones who win the lottery.

-Apple


~~Phunkin Phatt Phreerider~~
**Proud member of the d-loc fanclub**