yoyoyo
comin live and direct fron the underground in banff. wasabi is burning
my nose right now from the sushi im eating.... yeeeeeeaahh!
so a little catch up for everyone, i had quite the week.
it all began on a bike ride down Mt Norquay when my buddy drew bailed
and tore his shoulder joint, i had to play rescue, and lost my wallet
in the process. SO, not having any money (lost my last 50) and no bank
in town, i ahd to hitch to calgary to get to a bank. Got there sunday,
met up with a few kiwi buddies that were at the stampede, went to see
the chuckwagon races (talke my way in) and the centennial show, which
was awesome. cirque de soleil and fireworks, native dances etc.. a lot
of little kids in tight spandex dancing like christina aguleria? so
what i cant spell her name... that was disturbing.
after that, i tried to find a place to crash until the bank opened on
mon, but couldnt, so we went to the strippers, and then drove back to
banff. I woke up, and hitched in again. bummed around, met up with rob
and watched shaun of the dead, which was awesome, finally, a character
like me in a movie, it was sweet. took the midnight bus back after
running 6 km to get there on time. worked tues-thurs, Faith Hill and
Tim Mcgraw came into the store on thurs to rent a stroller, that was
neat. He was going to Merritt to play at the music fest, and I was
going too on friday to surprise my cuz, steve. Merritt Mountain music
fest is one of the biggest parties in North america. 130,000 people,
and about 60, 000 rvs and campers. SO im hitching from banff there,
its past kelowna, about 800 km away, and my first ride was a french
couple, not too eventful, the second ride was a caravan of old VW
buses. mine was a '68 old school bus with a 22 yr old dude from
quebec. around revelstoke we lost 4th gear in the rain, so were in
3rd, revving at 5000, side of the highway in the pouring rain. we tour
around kelowna looking for internet, and then i get dropped off over
the bridge. I got really frustruated standing there, the 2nd time ive
been stuck in that exact spot. I started singing about the people in
Kelowna, looking at the cars that passed, there were 2 types of
people, rich dicks, and white trash. "Rich dicks in kelowna, wouldnt
lay down bricks for bolonga, white trash smoking hash, giving me
thumbs up as you pass, why dont you stick it up your ass, i just wanna
get to merritt, leather interior driver looks just like his pet
ferrett." and so on, singing at the top of my lungs as they drive by,
with a big smile on my face. SO i got picked up by the latter of the 2
stereotypes, fat ones too. they had a joint burning. As I was waiting
for a ride, i get passed by a budget rental van, and another drives by
just after, but this one says Budjet. .... get it? get it? i laughed
out loud at that one. It was a carpet cleaning van, but looked like a
budget. My next ride was a fruit stand owner who had great stories
about his farm, his freshwater springs, and his kids. he bought his
son a mazda millenium, and he totalled it in 3 hours. Beat me. a month
later, he totalled his truck too. he gave me fresh peaches. I saw
Merritt, and it was insane. I had no idea how huge it was. bigger than
the town of banff. a party. wow. there were security staff patrolling
on dirt bikes and quads. it was 230$ to get in for the full event. I
jumped a fence and snuck through a gulley down to the river, where i
stashed my bag, and got ready for my stealth mission. I crossed the
river, and went into the bushes, after following dry creekbeds, i
ended up in a tangled forest of spiky plants. I had enough, and went
in a straight line back to the river, manimaling it through whatever
was in front of me. I crossed a train bridge, and i was in. Wndering
rv suburbia hell, i needed a drink. scoping out coolers was no
problem. the first 2 were full of food and juice, but the 3rd was the
jackpot. ice cold Buds. got 4, started walking. realized id never find
steve and his camper, it took my an hour to cross one aisle of one
campground of 5, which was the smallest. so I waited by the exit of
the fairgrounds when tim mcgraw was done playing. as i was waiting, a
girl puts her arm around me (we had a few clever exchanges) I tell her
i have to go get my bag in the bushes, and to my sheer surprise she
wants to join me. in flip flops, she doesnt complain once. A miracle.
after a maddening thrashinbg through the bushes i find my bag, and we
head back. walking to find a phone to call steves parents (my uncle +
aunt) to get some info, i see him standing trying to pick up, I jump
on his back and cover his eyes, he falls back into a garbage can full
of cans. So i set up camp at the very end of the campsite, and join
the insanity. Ive never even imagined a party could be so freakin
huge. a lot of big trucks, rednecks, dickheads, and topless women. Ive
never seen women with such low respect for themselves. YOu could walk
up to a girl, pull her shirt down and grab her nipples and she wouldnt
say a thing. Not that i did that. really, i didnt. Oh yeah, it took 12
hrs to get from banff to merritt. went through the enchanted forest in
revelstoke, saw a huge treehouse. Played hackey sack with a tiny dude
named boston, who looked like a little rat, and knew all sorts of gang
info, he said it was his job to know stuff, so i yelled out narc!
cause there were gang members around from vancouver, and he turned
around, said "nice call" and shook my hand. It rained in the morning.
I saw so many retarted things, a camper pushed out of a pick up bed,
trashed. full size hot tubs, dance floors, complete living room sets.
foam parties. naked guys duct taped to the portapotties. but i think
the funniest were the shirtless dudes who oiled up their muscle chests
and hung out by the johns, cause all the girls have to use them. so
pathetic. anyways, ill send photos with the next email when steve
sends them 2 me.
heres a link of some other pictures, of people this time, not my bike,
aric likes people. I like my bike. ok, here you go, these are all from
the same wild night, that lasted until 8 or 9 am.
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/blunt1212/album?.dir=/757f
and on the ride home, i got picked up by this guy who does logging and
trail building on van islend. I got so much secret info of hidden
treehouses and dudes hiding out living in the rainforest.... i feel a
mission approaching.
thats all for now guys, take care
Shawn.
Ripe is the time for the flight of plight from my mind
to escape the array of city bourne decay
bulemic, anemic, pesse-sqeemic
"in the mornings my penis rises up like a pheonix"