Here are 3 recent e-mails...I feel kinda bad, but I cannot stop laughing. am I an asshole?
I have been trying to contact you to respond to your inquiry about our online degrees.
Recently you received a voice message and/or an email from me. I have not heard from you as of yet.
I am following through on my commitment in assisting you with the pursuit of your educational goals. I am here to provide you with the appropriate information specific to your needs. Please contact me so we can discuss your options with the University of Phoenix Online. I know that achieving your education is a goal that you want to attain. Take a moment to reflect on the initial reason you inquired to the University of Phoenix Online. What, specifically, will this degree do for you? If you know you need this degree to get what you want, why wait any longer?
Currently, I am accepting applications for our next semester. You may download an application form, or simply pick up the phone and call me. Courses begin soon, and you still have time to enroll. However, please contact me soon, as class sizes are limited and deadlines are fast approaching.
University of Phoenix - WIU Online
If you e-mail me again, I will have my lawyer sue you. Do not write to me ever again, except to apoligize.
Pat, I'm sorry, I'm not sure for what but I'm sorry. I will update my files to say you are no longer interested.
Have a great day