skibum_, you arrogant fuck.
but to answer the original question; sell drugs. drug dealers win elections. just look at franklin delano roosevelt. guy pushed crystal meth throughout his career. had a lab in the white house basement. won four presidential elections. sell drugs and smack bitches and you cannot lose. FDR was the epitome of a drug-dealing, bitch-smacking success. model your campaign on his. tell everyone you'll revitalize the economy with workers' incentives and social security plans. you'll win; it worked for FDR.