My good friend Doug Bishop is not a fan of the condom beanie's excessive length. I am, for you see, more length equals more possibilities! Roll it up, let it poke, or scrunch it down; or, you can even pull the thing down over your face and cut eyeholes in it. Alternate uses include a stove mitt, gerbil carrier, helmet cover, camera case and backcountry barf bag. This is a truly versatile product!

Believe it or not, this EC headwear beanie improved my performance SIGNIFICANTLY in only 3 DAYS! That's right: in only 3 DAYS, I went from barely tapping my grabs to holding them almost the whole way through my rotations! See Picture 2 above for proof.

These quality hats only cost nine bucks a pop, which is probably cheaper than that crap they're selling down Kmart, and better quality to boot. Plus, you'll feel a warm surge of pleasure spasm through your veins when you click that "Buy" button, because you'll know that you've just supported a skiing company so core, they're made out of solid iron (and some nickel) and enclosed in a liquid outer core.