The Triple Threat

words by Jeff Schmuck
photos by Josh Anderson and Jeff Schmuck

Max Hill and I are plumped firmly in the backseat of Jeff Thomas' car, using our glazed-over eyes to squint at photos on my laptop, struggling to determine which shots are from which premiere. We, along with a quiver of others, have survived the Whistler and Vancouver premieres of PNW/Yeah Dude, and are on our way to Seattle to do it all over again the very next night at the Triple Threat, one of North America's most illustrious ski movie premieres. Jeff Thomas' girlfriend is sitting in front of us, jokingly referring to the three premieres as the Triple Crown, given their size, hysteria and close proximity to eachother on the premiere season calendar. Max and I's hangovers are getting progressively worse as we contemplate the madness that we're in the center of. We glance at eachother and speak with our eyes...what the hell is happening?

Our journey begins at a snail's pace after a multiple-car accident closes the major route out of Vancouver. The mishap forces a colossal amount of rush hour commuters to find other ways back to their little slices of suburbia, including the road towards the Canada/US border. While stuck in the gridlock, Max tries to convince me that he has three gun charges against him and we're all going to get strip-searched at the border. I can't tell if he's joking. When we finally arrive at the crossing, a rather large Russian-American glares at our passports and doesn't believe us when Jeff tells him we all ski instead of snowboard. I fear the two-finger intrusion is about to be bestowed on us, but then Jeff politely asks the big Ruskie if he's ever skied or snowboarded. His eyes soften and with a laugh and peanut butter-thick accent he says, "Vat, are you stupid? Take a look at me man, I'm too fat to ski." We're across and finally in America. I hate the border.

When you're Canadian, the absolute best part of going to America is the food. There's a ridiculous and disturbing amount of food items that will never pass our government's food safety board, along with numerous fast food restaurants that we don't have. Everything is greasier, bigger, cheaper and better. Max and I beg Jeff like little children to stop at Jack in the Box, but we begrudingly settle for McDonald's. After spending too much money on things that start with Mc and Max buys a frightenly big milkshake that he threatens to throw up later, we continue our journey. We pass beautiful rivers, mountains and views of the ocean and a looming Mt Baker, all obstructed by small, redneck towns with rusting water towers and high school football fields. Eventually, the freeway begins to widen, signaling our approach to the home of Boeing and Microsoft.


Shortly after the moon begins to rise above the Space Needle, we arrive at Evo just in time for the show. Greeting us at the door is a smiling Cody Carter. The Triple Threat is Cody's baby. Three years ago he was an unknown freelance videographer shooting for Theory-3 and others and wanted to put together a premiere to remember in his hometown. Fast forward to today, where Cody is now the Production Manager for Poorboyz, where he acts as Johnny Decesare and Tyler Hamlet's right-hand man. As opposed to letting the whole thing fall by the wayside now that he's left rainy Seattle for sunny California, Cody continues to spearhead the Triple Threat every year and treats it as his annual homecoming. Hence the smile on his face.



If you've never been to Evo, there's no other way to put it...it is one of the coolest shops going. Unique artwork from paintings to sculptures fills the lobby, and beautiful photos adorn the bathrooms while excerpts of work from K2's Ryan Schmies tower above the ski and snowboard walls. The shop itself is massive, an old warehouse exquisitely converted into one of the brightest shining stars in the world of freeride ski shops. Throughout the night, both floors were packed like a Pearl Jam concert in, well, Seattle. The place to be was the elevated ski section complete with one of the best damn looking ski walls I've seen after working retail for eight years. And to top it all off, just outside the store was a big ol' circus tent serving up beers and Red Bull's. It was quite the sight, and needless to say, there just isnt a better place in Seattle to have a premiere.


As the crowd rolled in, complete with doo-rag wearing teenagers, old-timers rocking Harley Davidson jackets and an alarming number of cougars, Tim Durtschi, Eric Pollard and Sammy Carlson greeted everyone with smiles, handshakes and autographs until there was nothing left to sign. To complement the pros, a who's-who list of industry-types streamed into the shop, including the aforementioned Ryan Schmies (flanked by many a K2 employees), Line's Ben Wallace, photographer extraordinaires Ian Coble and Grant Gunderson, and the man himself, Johnny Decesare.


Shortly after the scrum, PNW kicked off the show, followed by Yeah Dude and last but not least, Idea, which was the proud recipient of the loudest cheers of the night. Once the lights were turned up it was time to give out some of the most serious prizes one could hope to win at a premiere. Cody got on the mic and called two youngsters to the top of the stairs for a little game of trivia in exchange for a pair of K2 Fujative's. After both responded with a dumbfounded look as to what Johnny D's first movie was, and a blank stare to the title of Chris Bentchetler's song in Yeah Dude, Cody had seen enough. "Fuck it," he said, "you guys are having a push-up contest." The crowd roared in approval and I took it upon myself to interject by letting everyone know that a push-up contest is not a real push-up contest if you're wearing a shirt. The competitors nodded in approval and obliged my request by ripping off their shirts to expose their pre-teen chests to hundreds of screaming onlookers. As they dropped down to give it their all Schmies loomed over top of them like a scene from Pumping Iron, screaming at them to keep going. Eventually, a victor was crowned, muscles were flexed and it was on the grand prize of the night, a heli trip to Alaska.




Four raffle tickets were drawn and the winners made their way to the top of the stairs, trying their hardest not to piss their pants with excitement on the way. As they awaited the announcement of their respective contest, a debate ensued between Johnny, Cody, Schmies and myself. Jut what should these guys have to do in order to go to Alaska? It couldn't be trivia or push-ups or a dirty joke contest. It had to be something harder. In the end, Cody and I placed four one dollar bills on the ground and told each competitor if they wanted to shred AK for free, they had to stand on one foot, lean forward and pick the bill up with their teeth without anything else touching the ground. It was great, because I've met female gymnasts that cant do it. After about fifteen painful minutes of watching four men fall hard on their faces as they attempted to bend in ways men shouldn't be able to bend, one man miraculously emerged victorious. Congrats bendy.



After that, Evo shut its doors and it was off to the Triangle down the street where the standard-issue mayhem that goes down like clockwork at premiere afterparties ensued. As usual this time of year, a repetitively good time was had by all, but none more so than Cody, whose big smile from the start of the night never went away.


Special thanks go out to Cody Carter and Johnny D from Poorboyz, Jeff Thomas from Theory-3 and most of all, the entire staff and crew at Evo for making this all happen.